December 2006

FRIDAY – DECEMBER 1, 2006

1:30a – Well... that was slow and tedious, but I drove safely, keeping it around 45mph (where I normally do 65). I took me about 15-20 minutes just to GET INTO my car. It was solidly encased in ice. I had to chip around the door until I finally got it loose enough to pull the door open. I was afraid I was going to break the door handle at one point. Getting the scraper out of the trunk was the first ordeal. The electric trunk would release, but could not spring up. And there were several pounds of snow and ice on the trunk (boot). Had to keep pushing the remote trunk release with one hand while lifting the trunk with my other. I finally got enough "view ports" that I thought I could drive... but I forgot. It was still raining. I needed my wipers. So, I had to stop again and get back out in the freezing rain and excavate the wipers and chip THEM free of ice. The headlights were incased in ice too, so I put the lights on hi-beam. Never slipped or slid once though. I bet it will be a pain in the morning. I've seen tree branches down, ripped loose by the weight of the ice. It was also a real "storm" too, with lightening flashing weirdly in the ice storm. It seemed to be green lightning... very weird (yet pretty). So, its 1:35a ... and I am just getting home. time to relax a bit

2:52a – I was kind of worried about Chooga. I remember letting him out this morning at his insistence. It took two tries. The first time he saw the cold weather he backed off and decided not go out.

[the lights just flickered... and I heard a rumble of thunder... the storm apparently continues]

Anyway, Chooga finally got me to let him out again, and this time dashed out, trying not to step in anything wet (which was impossible). I assumed he was still outside. He normally greets me in the driveway when I get home and comes in with me as a routine. He did not do so tonight. I called for him and he did not show up. I was worried he had problems in this ice storm. Nothing I could do though. He is very independent and will remain an indoor/outdoor cat. (Unlike Barnabas, who is fascinated by yet terrified of the "outdoors"). So I went back to the office to empty my pockets and as soon as I opened the door I was tripped up by Chooga. Apparently he had been locked up in the office all day. Stupid twit. He is always getting locked up in rooms. Now he is pestering me to feed him, after getting him a perpetual feeder! I think he does not approve of the cheap cat food I bought. I remember when he first "moved in" and he had no compunction against ripping open Kira's dog food bag and eating it! Now, he has become picky. Too bad. He has to eat this food first. I am not going to spoil him. He will finish this food, but next time I will try to pick something a little less "generic." I don't want to be mean, but I just can't throw money away these days. (Thank you, once again, MIR!).

Scenes from my "garden" back in the Spring compared to "tonight" ...

7:38p – I had to sleep in this morning. I finally got up and Kira had left my a "gift" in the living room, and a puddle in the kitchen. The computer was still off line and Skip had been trying to contact me about it all morning. It was jus the server. I got it up and running in a few minutes.

I got to work 2 hours late and went straight into floor support. I am just ending my lunch now. The power is back in the building, so we are running on generator power only. The drive in to work was no problem, but I had to spend some time getting snow and ice off the car before I could drive in. I am a bit worried about finding myself stuck in the parking spot I am in today. It was thick with snow.

Well... lunch is over. Time to log in to the phone for a while and take calls. I hear the queue is not bad today.

I must say that this has been the most diverse and interesting day working on this job. I came in late, and started right away on Floor Support. Floor Support is very demanding, intense, and high-pressure, but I find it interesting and challenging. I am learning so much by doing this. Then, around 7:30p I went back on the phones and took 2 or 3 calls. The queue was not heavy, and I could have done that for the rest of the shift. However, I got pulled from the phones and was assigned to the MOD Desk as a moderator with a brief but efficient "training session" by Tom. My duties in that capacity were basically to manage the entire floor. I sat at two computers and monitored all agents (about 100). I kept track of who was waiting for calls, who was on a call longer than normal, directed a "Roamer" to check on people (on overly long calls), assigned Roamers to take supervisor calls, monitored in "ACW" (after call work) for over 2 minutes and "beeped" them, called people who were on break over the 15 minute period and let them know them were out of adherence... and all of this for both the Adelphia team, the Comcast transition team, the Tech queue, and the Commercial queue. I picked up on all of the fairly quick (it's not all that hard). Then we ran out of "Roamers" and so I was sent to take supervisor calls, of which I took about three. One was really good. I identified the customer's problem, and then trained the agent on how to handle the problem. I made the agent do the work with the customer while I stood by and provided instructions.

None of this paid a penny more, but at least it was satisfying, I felt like I was doing "real" work, and it made the day fly by smoothly, rather than the usual feeling of being dragged over broken glass to get to the end of the day! I suppose that the "scary" part of this is that I might not want to leave this job and move on to a proper paying job. I just cannot keep going on at this low pay rate.

SATURDAY – DECEMBER 2, 2006

2:09a – I just finished watching the recent episode of "Heroes" entitled "Six Months Ago." I am really enjoying this series! I hope it goes on for a long time.

I have a couple of chicken leg quarters simmering on the stove at the moment. I found them hidden down in the freeze bottom along with a package of hamburger meat which I moved to the regular "refrigerator" side of the icebox to slowly thaw for later. Now I am going to go watch today's episode of "Dr. Who". I am really enjoying this DVR. It is allowing me to watch programs on TV that I enjoy on my own time. Without a lot of hassle. (Now we just need to get the DVD player and the VCR working with it properly. That is still a problem.

6:31a – I am STILL up! I *MUST* go to bed. I have been working on a video tribute to Kira all night and it had got me all involved. Off to bed for me now...

My tribute to Kira on You Tube

I was SO tired today, but I got up and made it to work. Michelle, who was there when I left last night was STILl AT work. I think she was still there when I left. She just out to her van and takes a nap! I couldn't do that. I need my sleep.

SUNDAY – DECEMBER 3, 2006

4:56p – I got up earlier that I expected this morning, around 10:30a. Skip and I went to eat at KFC a little later. When we got home, I got around to pulling the TV out and hooking up the VCR and the DVD player. It wasn't that hard really. I am not sure why Skip could not figure it out. Anyway, I am watching "Ice Age: Melt Down" now, which Skip rented.

I have Kira a nice, hot, soapy bath tonight for the first time in a long time. She was really starting to reek of urine. It to hard on both of us for me to try to bath her every time she has an accident and pee's on herself.

MONDAY – DECEMBER 4, 2006

I got up a few minutes early this morning and started my usual pot of soup. Before getting up, I thought Kira was having a very bad case of gas (which she does a lot in her old age). It turns out it was not gas... oops. At least it was an easy cleanup. She is getting really bad about not coming back in the house after letting her outside. We call her and she just ignores us and stands there. I don't know if maybe it is too painful for her to get turned around to come back in or what. Maybe she is starting to get senile or something. Sometimes, we think she is working her disabilities to "play" us too. I can forgive her for that I suppose.

3:24p – Back at work again.

11:17p – I took about 12 calls before going on floor support at 4:00p. It's almost time to leave now. I think I am really learning a lot by working on this end of things.

TUESDAY – DECEMBER 5, 2006

2:17a – I am working on a claim form tonight. Apparently I have $260.78 of unclaimed money with State Farm back in Florida. I have to provide documentation, but I have tons of that on my DOCUMENTS CD. I have printed out my deed, an occupational license, and a car registration, plus my current driver license information. That should be WAY more than adequate!

3:22a – I just finished filling out the above referenced form. Hopefully, I can recover the lost funds that I am owed. I also filled out form with DirectTV to get $150.00 refund.

Meanwhile, I just used the last of my homegrown tomatoes in my supper tonight (and lunch tomorrow... made from leftovers from my breakfast this morning!).

10:352a – I am up and soup is on. I am so tired though. I went to bed fairly early (for me), but I am just not getting enough sleep.

WEDNESDAY – DECEMBER 6, 2006

1:33a – I just notice Kira's right eye appears to be inflamed. Jeez... she is having so many problems. I am about in tears here. She needs a doctor and I have no funds anymore. I am feeling a bit of anger toward certain backstabbing bitches at the moment... and they know who they are.

3:09a – I am getting some of my photos saved to DVD finally. I am having to discard many DVD's that bombed out during my valiant, yet fruitless, attempts at copying the DREAM KEEPER CD for RD.

3:29a – The good news is, my DVD burner is working. Bad news is that I had to throw away several blank DVD's which have become corrupt.

In world news, Robert Gates was grilled for his new position as (Secretary of Defense?) today, replacing Rumsfeld. Apparently he did very well. So... does this mean we will be getting our troops out of Iraq? I doubt it. Not for some time yet to come...

11:29a – I am up and getting ready for work, but I sure feel beat. I am glad I have tomorrow off.

3:57a – I got to work on time, but my computer locked up and it ended up taking me nearly 30 minutes to get logged in. I still don't know if I can get Sunday swapped in order to go to the Zamenhofa Bankedo. I put my note up on the board requesting someone to swap with me, but "migration wave 8" begins this weekend and all Hell is likely to break out. No one is going to want to work on Sunday.

THURSDAY – DECEMBER 7, 2006

12:27p – I am up, but I don't feel too enthusiastic about it. I am going to make my morning soup here shortly. Maybe that will perk me up.

I sat at the computer and watched the first episode of "Heros."

5:20p – I just got back from a trip to Wal-Mart (and Q-Mart). Chooga rode along with me! He did not really care for riding in the car. Maybe I will take him again in the future and get him used to it. He may come to enjoy such excursions. Kira does.

This was bad. I lost Kira! I did not remember letting her outside, but I eventually found her UNDER the table on the back patio. I searched all over. I could her her breathing every now and then, but could not determine WHERE the sound was coming from. I finally found her. I have finished eating now, but I am making something more to eat. Then I will get in bed.

FRIDAY – DECEMBER 8, 2006

Another day of work. Nothing exciting. It was payday, and I did get a better paycheck this time since I did not miss much time. I even have some cash left over from last payday.

SATURDAY –
DECEMBER 9, 2006

I got up earlier than I expected. Skip and I went to Bob Evans for lunch and I just got a sandwich since I have the Zamenhoff Banquet to attend tonight. However, the "pot roast sandwich" was huge and came with fries and coleslaw. I ended up eating much more than I intended.

We stopped by Schnuck's on the way home and I bought some pork, chicken, and other groceries. Before going to Schnuck's, I stopped and got the car washed. It was looking awful with all the salt and dirt resulting from the recent snow and ice. The car looks so much better now!

SUNDAY –
DECEMBER 10, 2006

11:05p – What a crazy day this was. First, my alarm did not go off and I got up late. I got further delay dealing with Kira, her eye is getting worse. I know she is not going to "get better," but I was hoping her eye would not give her problems.

It looks awful. The drops seemed to be helping at first, but now they seem to make no difference. Plus, Skip has been sick for several days. He sounds awful, coughing, sneezing, and his voice sounds scratchy. He wanted me to run him to get a bite to eat, so I did that. I fixed some soup for 1st meal and had enough leftover to take with me for 2nd meal. The soup was exceptionally delicious with fresh cilantro and minced onion, plus sausage, pasta, sliced brussel sprouts, and mushroom & celery

So, I got to work 2 hours late. There were no seats available in the Floor Support area, so I had to go into hot-seating and wait for a seat. Steve told me to come back to FS at 4:30p as they might be needing me to assist.

I finally got a seat assigned in quad-III, but then my primary login would not work for some odd reason. I had to go to the MOD desk and have Ray get it reset for me. I finally got logged in, and then was deluged with countless QuickComm messages which I had to tediously read through in case any of them were important. I don't know why they send messages out asking specific people to report to the MOD desk and requiring that I (and everyone else) acknowledge the message. I guess that whoever sent the message did not know how to do so correctly.

Once I got through all the flood of annoying little messages, I finally got about half of my tools up and running, but then DST was not set up correctly on this computer and I had to track down the ComCast host name and port (which changed since my last notes) and add it to the computer, while deleting multiple redundant copies of the Adelphia host.

About this time I realized that it was nearly 4:30p! So I just closed this computer down, gathered my stuff up and headed back to FS. I ended up having to wait until 4:45p before finally taking over Todd's seat. Once logged in, I too about 3 calls and was asked to log in to FS and go "thumbs up." I did that until about 9:00p and then went back to answering the phones. The queue was way empty by then with lots of time between calls.

11:24p – I have been typing for 20 minutes now with no call. I think my last call came in at 10:36p, so it has been nearly an hour! I only have 19 minutes left before time to go home. I will probably get a last minute call that will stretch out... we will see.

MONDAY – DECEMBER 11, 2006

2:56a – When I got home tonight, Kira had messed herself and was blocking the door. I had trouble pushing her and her "debris" out of the way. She is getting much worse. She could not walk hardly at all tonight. I got her outside, but she collapsed in the yard and I had to help her in. I lost it and started crying, and that did not help much. I cleaned up after her, and got her sort of cleaned up (but... she will need a serious bathing). I think she is lying in the kitchen floor now. Unable to get up, but at least she is near her water dish. I am so distraught over this. I love her so much, but she can't go on like this. Yet, I cannot afford to have her "put down." Then again, part of me cannot abide euthanasia; while another part of me cannot abide watching her suffer. It is ripping my heart to pieces. I love her so much. She has been through so much with me and indeed, I maintain that she kept me from giving up and dying during my "dark times" back in Deltona. She is my heart fire... and I am experiencing so much anguish over her condition. Life can sure be a major bitch sometimes. I know and accept death as part of the cycle, but it does not really make it more easy. Grief is part of that damn cycle too, and I am going to have to go through it again.

3:08a – I just helped her get up. She had wet herself again, but I had a towel wrapped around her, so it was not a major issue. Just a sad issue.

I have a pot of soup on. I put away my port chops and chicken breasts which I on Saturday. I pulled on chop and one breast and put them in the soup. I made a bunch, so I will have lunch tomorrow.

Meanwhile, I am working on my second video production from the Zamenhofa Bankedo yesterday. I really believe in Esperanto and want to see it thrive. I have always known it was something I wanted to be involved in. I wish I had just a little bit of wealth. Nothing daunting. Just enough to allow me to travel and focus on Esperanto and the movado. Ah well... I will do what little I can in my limited capacity...

12:51p – I am running late to work again. Kira is worse. She cannot walk at all now. Her left leg just does not respond and it twists up under. I dragged her on a towel the to back door to try to let her out, but before I could do so, she pooped. On the towel at least. I cleaned that up and came back and she had pee'd too. So, she didn't even need to go out. I fixed her a pallet in the kitchen. She just wet herself again laying in the floor. This cannot go on. I have to do something soon. I don't know what, but this cannot continue. Anyway... I have to get to work. Off I go.

TUESDAY – DECEMBER 12, 2006

1:12a – Kira is no better, of course. She cannot get up or walk at all now. She took her last steps about 24 hours ago and I don't think she will ever walk again. I have made her as comfortable as I can on her palette in the kitchen where I left her when I left for work and she was still there when I got home. I called Skip at lunch and asked, so I knew to expect it though. Her right eye looks like it is melting. She is declining fast. Her appetite is still good though.

She just had her supper, which she had to eat laying down. I do need to wash her bedding though, which will probably be needed every day until she passes on. I only cried a little tonight, trying to brace myself against the grief of losing "Kira-ma-Dira" ... my K-dog ... my baby. I don't think I ever want any more pets. I just cannot stand the grief of losing them. I do not regret the joy Kira and Thor brought me, but the grief at losing Thor was bad, and it will be even worse with Kira since she is right here in my hands. so to speak. Thor was in Florida and had been dead for 3 months before I found out. It still was a blow to my heart though. With the loss of Kira, my heart will be ripped to shreds.

4:17a – I am off to bed. It will seem strange to leave Kira laying in the kitchen. It is breaking my heart. My poor baby... :(

11:24a – I tried to sleep after waking up around 8:00a. I checked on Kira. She had crawled toward the living room. I moved her back close to her palette and made sure she could reach her water. I tried to go back to sleep, but my mind won't stop thinking of things. I dozed for a few minutes and dreamed something about a little dog on a leash. It kept walking in circles like one of those little robot toys. Probably related to my stressing out over Kira.

10:38p – I actually started work early today. I did not notice that my schedule had me starting at 2:00p instead of my usual 1:15p. So, I will be here until 12:30a tonight. Been in Floor Support ever since I got here.

It has been chaos in FS. I remained "5 deep" (meaning I had 5 chats running simultaneously) for hours on end. Lunch time was around 7:00p for me, but we were too busy, so I did not break for "lunch" until about 10:00p. I never did take my last break. However, I find that handling 5 chats (not to mention "walk-ins") is still preferable to being on the phone.

WEDNESDAY – DECEMBER 13, 2006

3:03a – I was supposed to be off work at 12:30a, but W. Traylor asked me for a ride home. He lives very close, but did not get off work until 1:00a. I spent the extra time on-line, reading up on pet euthanasia. I had trouble reading the screen though. I kept tearing up with grief and depression.

So I gave WT the ride home and managed NOT to get lost finding my way back. Kira needed some clean-up, but not as bad as I expected. Skip had done some cleaning and had washed and dried her bedding. I fixed it up for her and got her back onto it. Fixed her some supper, doctored her eye and later I sat with her feeding her little pieces of dry food just for the comfort and physical contact. (.... and now I am crying again... damn it).

3:08a – Okay... deep breath. This situation is really messing with me. And it is late and I've not even looked at fixing 3rd meal. I've been trying to watch the first episode of "The Lost Room." But my mind is not on it.

5:39a – I am off to bed. It is almost daybreak.

1:25p – I got up around 12:30a. It was good to get some sleep and not have to worry about getting up and dragging myself to work.

I just looked at my website's stats for November. I was surprised to see that I have and average of about 300 visits per day. I would never have thought it would be that high, but then... the entire worlds is out there.

9:28p – Skip just handed me $150 and said it was to be applied to my meds!! Bless his heart. I was reduced to tears (yet again) ... though I did not let him know. I have set this money aside. It will only go to my meds (once my insurance is in effect).

THURSDAY – DECEMBER 14, 2006

Once again today I did not seek out any avenues toward getting Kira euthanized. I know it has to be done, but I just can't bring myself to it. I can't keep letting her suffer though, and she won't get better. It's an awful dilemma. I just sat at home all day. I didn't even have to pick Skip up since he got a ride home.

I put my sleeping bag down in the kitchen and lay with Kira for about an hour before going to bed. I hate leaving her laying in the kitchen floor, but I have no real choice.

FRIDAY – DECEMBER 15, 2006

I got up late this morning. Kira had made quite a gross mess and I was actually gagging and nearly got sick cleaning up after her. That is not like me at all. I think it was because I am slightly sick myself

I got some ore work done on my Esperanto site this morning.

I drove to St. Louis around 1:00p and picked Skip up from work. He had his new computer chassis. It's really awesome.

We went to Outback and Skip bought us lunch. I got a nice 11 oz. steak with roast garlic mashed potatoes and a side of steamed broccoli. On the way home, we stopped by Wal-Mart. Skip bought a new 5 port hub. I got some more cleaning supplies for th105e house (especially regarding Kira). I got some cleaning spray to clean Kira up some. She has been laying in her own waste for days. I try to keep her dry and move her as best I can, but she is heavy and I am no longer able to do the things I used to be able to do. I got her some "beggin' strip" goodies though. Something to cheer her up.

I fixed a hefty supper of pork, chicken and leftover steak in a fried rice dish tonight. It was quite good. I wanted to take some for lunch tomorrow, but I ate it all!

SATURDAY – DECEMBER 16, 2006

Cleaning up after Kira this morning was pretty bad. She is getting raw spots from laying down so much, and being constantly soaked in urine is not helping.

12:40a – I've been watching "The Shaggy Dog" starring Tim Allen tonight. I think I will have to go to bed and not watch the end of it. I has been amusing so far though.

I rolled Kira over to her other side, refreshed her water and covered her hind legs with a dry towel. She is as comfortable as I can make her. I gave her a Tylenol PM too. I know it is probably not good for her, but... what harm can it do at this point? She should sleep sound and not be in any pain. That's the best I can do for her right now. Bless her heart... I love her so much...

12:45a – I am going to bed now. I have work tomorrow. Then I am off on Sunday and Monday, work Tuesday and Wednesday, and am taking the 21st off as PTO.

I woke up around 3:15a and could not get back to sleep until I finally dozed off around 5:30a. Then I had weird dreams. I remember one in which a spider crawled on my eye. In another dream I was in some kind of canyon or something, climbing about on ledges. There were big black tarantulas peeking out of hole here and there. From one of these holes something came crawling out. I thought it was another tarantula, but it turned out to be a big fat cricket. It slipped and fell far below into the edge of the shallow creek where some critter jumped out the catch it. Then there was an episode with a bear. That probably came from watching the "Over the Hedge" movie.

I got up and cleaned up after Kira. I feel so awful for her, stuck laying in the kitchen floor while I contemplate on how to put her out of her misery. her elbows are becoming swollen and inflamed. I know it must hurt. I keep dismally hoping she will just pass on in her sleep and not drag this out any longer. It's just awful.

11:30p – I am at working on Floor Support. I started feeling sick during the night with some coughing. I am definitely sick now. I have been trying to ignore it, but the coughing has increased, sneezing, runny nose and that achy feeling. I am sick. Damn. At least I have the next two days off to recover. Hope that's enough. It usually is not.

11:43p – Time to go home.

SUNDAY – DECEMBER 17, 2006

2:17a – I am getting increasingly more sick. My nose is a war zone of explosive sneezes and liquid inundations. It's awful.

I just finished watching the "Shaggy Dog" movie with Tim Allen. Very amusing and entertaining.

I got a new USB drive tonight. Someone lost it. Checking it out now.

Kira wanted to get up so bad a bit ago. I helper her up and braced her legs for her. She stood on her own for a couple of minutes but of course, when she tried to move, she collapsed. I think it was good for her to try though. I can sense her depression. I think her condition is starting to dawn on her and she is starting to realize this is not going to get better, even though she does not exactly understand what that means.

I left may "Zamenhoff Banquet 2004" video which I've been working on for the last couple of hours, rendering.

1:06p – I got up around noon. Still sick of course. Went through a bout of coughing which eventually changed to sneezing. I went through what is becoming my morning routine of cleaning up after Kira. I am having to do LOT of laundry lately.

My movie rendered with no problem. I have it half way uploaded now.

MONDAY – DECEMBER 18, 2006

10:46a – My first experience this morning was thinking that Kira was in a coma. I could not get her to wake for about 4-5 minutes. She finally woke up, looking confused (much as I do in the morning, I suspect!). This is just one more sign that her time is very near.

I finished watching "The Lost Room" this afternoon. A very original and interesting mini-series!

I left around 4:00p to pick up Skip. The remainder of his computer components arrived today. At the last minute, he called me and asked that I pick him up at 5th&Mo. I did so. Then we ran by Wal-Mart. I picked up some cold medicine since I am VERY sick. I *dread* tomorrow ... so much. I need to sleep... not work.

I have cooked a pork loin for supper with rice on side and cabbage.

Kira is looking very faint and despondent. I am going to go feed her in a bit. I hope she wants to eat.

11:08p – She is eating, though not very enthusiastically.

11:10p – I have been working on Yuletide cards all evening. I got all my address labels printed, then wrote 2 pages highlighting things that have happened this year.

TUESDAY – DECEMBER 19, 2006

10:46a – I had some strange dreams last night. One was about this young woman named Laura who hired me as her personal assistant. She seemed to work in a building made from Lego's, or some similar type interconnecting plastic toy. She never did seem to have any real job for me to do. At one point we were in a bar and she was drinking a glass of milk with a straw. Then she ran off to join some kind of aerobic dancers and called for me to bring her milk to her. I did so, but the straw blew out of the glass on the way. She asked where her straw was, and it seemed to be point of irritation for her. The dream went on and on... I won't bother trying write down the details, but it ended with me getting stuck in a room, to Army officers, and Kira and Thor were in the dream at the end too. Weird

I got up fairly early, dreading to find Kira possibly dead, and knowing there would be a mess to clean up. As it turned out, the mess was minimal... and (with a little help), she actually got to her feet and stood for a while. She drank from her water dish while I put her soiled bedding in the washer. I expected her to fall at any moment... but no! She actually managed to stagger into the laundry room, and when I opened the door to let Chooga out, she was insistent that she go out to. She was none too graceful, but she managed to get outside, got all the way out to the tree, take care of business, and made it all the way back on her own. I was so sure she would collapse the I already had my shoes on to go get her, but she was looking so determined. I was so proud of her. I know this does not mean she is getting better, but it was good to see her able to do this on her own.

Of course, then I came back in and had a fit of coughing and gagging; broke out into a clammy sweat. I am still sick, but I have to go to work today and tomorrow. It's going to be rough.

11:15a – I was jus trying to fix a pot of soup and stepped in a puddle. I thought it must be Kira, although she had just gone outside and was now laying on her pad. I tried to go around the puddle to the laundry to get a towel to throw down on it, but... OH NO! THE WASHER WAS OVERFLOWING!! The entire laundry is flooded! Jeez... like I need this! Grrrr!

11:34a – I got some of the water cleaned up, but then I discovered it has gone under the wall and the bathroom of flooded too. This really sucks, and on top of being sick, I am having a bad time of it. I am going to have to go fix that bowl of soup and ignore the remaining mess for a few minutes. I am going to be late to work today, obviously.

11:41a – I just called Skip and warned him about the minor flood. And the minor miracle of Kira going outside on her own.

1:24p – I am going in at 3:15p today. This morning has been rough with being sick and the washer flooding. I would like to go back to bed, but ... I have to get to work.

I got to work and D-Rowe asked me to sign in to Floor Support immediately. I did... and stayed on until 12:15a. It was very intense, but I am getting increasingly proficient at this. I sometimes amaze my own self, at the risk of sounding conceited!

Later this evening, Chuck, my favorite "mentor" and one of the top trainers, came to me and told me about a position that was open that he felt I should apply for. The position is with "Quality Control." It would be a raise, most likely, and would entail monitoring and rating calls taken by the agents. I think I could do this.

I got home and was able to help Kira get up and go outside to pee. Good for her. She is really trying to defy her aged condition. Bless her heart. Some things cannot be avoided, but ... she is trying and you have to respect that.

I pulled the washer out and found that the drainage hose had popped loose. I tried to fix it, but ... I will need Skip's help. My heart was fluttering, I was panting, getting dizzy and broke out into a clammy sweat trying to fix it.

WEDNESDAY – DECEMBER 20, 2006

3:15a – I just finished getting my resume updated. I tried to apply for the position on-line, but the links would not work. The position closes on the 20th (today), so I updated my resume and will walk it to personnel tomorrow.

1:45p – I am going in late again today. I can't take sick time, but I can get some rest by taking a couple of hours of tardy time. I am feeling better today at least. I still have some coughing, but it seems less than yesterday (so far).

Kira could not manage to repeat her walk of yesterday.

And the washer is still broke down. I need Skip's help to fix it.

I will be taking my resume in with me today. I need to leave a bit early (even though I am tardy... ironic...).

THURSDAY – DECEMBER 21, 2006

Yuletide Day

I got up at precisely 10:01a. Skip wanted me to take him on an excursion to get his computer functioning. I loaded Google Earth on my computer and we located the place were headed to by both driving directions and a satellite view. We got there with no problem and actually recognized the place from the satellite picture. Skip jokingly said to, "watch for the while pickup in the parking lot." When we got there, lo and behold, there was actually a white pickup in the parking lot. The irony of the coincidence was hilarious.

We left his computer to be "fixed" and went looking for a place to east. We were both starving and I am still sick. (This morning I coughed and gagged until I puked). We ended up at "Maryland Yards," a pub & grill. I had a Reubin sandwich and onion rings; Skip had the patty melt. His patty melt was made with ½ pound of meat! It looked really good. Skip paid for the bill, which was considerate since I was paying for gas. From there we went over to the Walgreen's store, sort of shopping for gifts. We did not find anything we wanted to buy in a price we found acceptable.

We left Walgreen's and went driving (like the car needed excess wear and tear for nothing). I ended up driving all the way over to Hazelwood to my office where I went in and checked on the status of my résumé for the Quality Control position. Apparently it will be fine.

Next stop was at Quick Trip where I fueled up u the car, then we went to Star Bucks so Skip could get some coffee.

Finally, the 2 hours wait was over and we head back to the computer store, arriving around 2:40p. They had his computer up and running, the hard drive properly installed, and my DVD drive installed (temp-orarily). Skip discovered that he did not need the sound card he had purchased, since the onboard sound card was far superior to the one he bought, so he sold it to the store for $15 (he paid $30 for it though). Then he spontaneously bought one of their wide screen thin panel monitors (and got $10 off on the purchase). All in all, I think he got a pretty good deal.

We headed home, but had to go by Wal-Mart. Skip still needed to buy something for his office for the holidays, and I needed to get a couple of gifts for Marty and JR.... and some dog food.

I got some more goodies for Kira, including another box of Cheez-its, for both me and her.

She is so miserable and now she is getting seriously inflamed sores on her legs. It is so awful watching her decline. Skip and I had a long talk about it tonight (in which I choked up more than once). We were discussing how to go about putting her down. He has qualms about they injection they use, saying it causes discomfort to the animal. Personally, I think the amount of temporary discomfort she might experience for a few moments would be far less than the amount of constant discomfort she is going through while we try to make up our minds. Of course, I know I am stalling because I can't bear to lose her, and maybe the Creator will take her when the time is right. Or ... maybe that is meaningless blather.

I stated watching one of my DVD's tonight: "Shark Boy and Lava Girl." This has got to be THE most juvenile movie I have watching in a long time. (But kind of entertaining and a silly way).

FRIDAY – DECEMBER 22, 2006

10:04p – Back at work today. On time for change, though I am still sick. I went on Floor Support at 4:00p and off at about 8:20p. I am taking Comcast calls from the West coast again now. Mostly calls from Washington state today.

I got turned on to this addictive little game today , called Linerider. It is very addictive!

11:15p – I have 30 minutes left. They cannot go fast enough.

SATURDAY – DECEMBER 23, 2006
Christmas "Anne"

12:57a – I just got in. Kira was still in the same spot I left her. She was back up against the chiffarobe in the kitchen and had pooped into and under it. Poor thing. That was a pain to clean up of course.

Skip and I went over to Schnuck's. I bought some things to make a pasta salad for Marty's party, and I thought I would try making some humus. I was too tired (and still sick) so I skipped the hums. I'll make it later.

Marty's party was pleasant. Skip joined us for the first time. It was strange not seeing Joey on the front porch we we arrived. He would usually be out there smoking a cigarette and watching TV. JR got me a "Hillbilly Calendar" and Marty got me a multi-purpose tool. (I don't think I've ever owned one). I got JR a small tackle box filled with edible candy fishing gear and Marty a holiday package with summer sausage and crackers. We did not stay too long after eating since I was tired and coughing. I came home and spent most of the evening making a video out of our evening. It is probably the most complicated video I've ever created.

I fell asleep at my computer and woke up about 3:30a. I hate to do that. I got up and fixed some food and got to bed later than I would have liked, but about a normal time for my schedule.

SUNDAY – DECEMBER 24, 2006
Christmas Eve

Happy Birthday to Jack LaPlante!

11:56a – I woke up around 8:30a and never really got back to sleep. I stayed in bed and tried to sleep until 11:00a. I got up at 10:59a precisely and immediately began a bout of coughing. It was so bad I again had to rush to the bathroom to vomit. Nothing came up, but I kept gagging and heaving until I felt like pins were being poked into my chest. The fit left me trembling and panting for breath and decided me to call in tardy to work again. I hate doing that, but we don't have any sick time at this place and being tardy is not counted against us, so it's my only logical option.

I had to pick Skip up from the store and run him home before going to work. I was delay though, since Kira had a very messy accident at the last moment, and I had to clean up after her.

I gave Jack a call on the way in to work today, but had to leave a voice mail.

I logged in to Floor Support immediately upon arriving at work and stayed in for the entire day. It was slow, being Christmas Eve.

MONDAY – DECEMBER 25, 2006
Christmas Day

2:44a – I got home and had a nasty mess to clean up after Kira. I think Skip is trying to pretend she is not there. I understand, though I wish he would try to help more in keeping her clean and comfortable. It's hard for me. I can't lift and move her and I am not home all the time. I just can't do what I need to in order to keep her more comfortable. The sores on her legs, especially her left leg has become quite serious. It is going to become gangrenous if it is not treated. I am going to have to just spend bill money on having her put down. This just cannot go on. I know she is in literal pain now. I will grieve over losing her, but I cannot let this go on. It's just awful. Not to mention the fact the the house reeks. Kira smells bad. I am spending a small fortune on gas to heat the hot water to do her daily laundering, the wear and tear on the washer (which just flooded the house), the constant use of laundry detergent... and all the other incidental costs. Mostly the cost of her discomfort and my anguish.

Jack called me back, but I was on the floor and could not answer my phone. He sounded like he and Adam were out partying and making merry. It was good to hear a happy voice. My life is so putrid as of late.

2:57a – I just spent another episode of sitting with Kira and breaking down into tears over her plight. Then she tries to comfort me, sensing my distress, buy giving me kisses, which just makes me even more sad. It's an awful dilemma. I am grieving so badly for her already, and she is not even dead yet. I should be in bed, but I so stressed out by this. I put some more drops in her bad right eye, but I think it is long gone. She may see some light and dark from it, but I suspect that is about it.

3:05a – I have bills to process, but I am so upset about Kira I can't focus on anything.

3:41a – I went through some of the bills and it looks like the power is going to be disconnect on the 26th if I don't pay $182. I will have to call them tomorrow and pay them over the phone. I was planning on paying them only $100 ... but I guess they will get someone else's money and I will have to figure out how to keep some other utility from being disconnected. Meanwhile, I am being forced to drive without insurance, illegally, at the moment. I just don't have the money to pay $52 per month for insurance at this time. I *must* get a decent paying job. This totally sucks.

1:12p – I am going in only an hour late today. Kira has not urinated or had a movement yet this morning. That is not normal. I've sort of been waiting for her to do something before I head out to work so I don't leave it for Skip to deal with. What a depressing Christmas this is. Time to go to work now...

Legendary Singer James Brown
Dies at 73

James Brown, the dynamic, pompadoured "Godfather of Soul," whose rasping vocals and revolutionary rhythms made him a founder of rap, funk and disco as well, died early Monday, his agent said. He was 73.

Brown was hospitalized with pneumonia at Emory Crawford Long Hospital on Sunday and died around 1:45 a.m. Monday, said his agent, Frank Copsidas of Intrigue Music. Longtime friend Charles Bobbit was by his side.

James Brown was never one of my favourite singers, but he was a bit of American history and a figure in my life. It is always sad to see a person of such energy and vitality leave our mortal plane. I learned of his death while listening to NPR on the way to work.

Work was very slow tonight. I spent much of the time playing Weboggle on line. There was one point where I stopped and thought about Kira for a moment and almost started crying. That's bad.

TUESDAY – DECEMBER 26, 2006
Gerald Ford dies today

GERALD R. FORD, who picked up the pieces of Richard Nixon’s scandal-shattered White House as the 38th president and the only one never elected to nationwide office, has died. He was 93.

Mr. Ford was president when I went into the US Navy in 1976. I remember watching the news while sitting at the Mariner's Club on base at NTC Orlando, Florida and watching commentary about his presdency on the big screen.

1:09a – Kira was laying almost exactly where I left her when I went to work. Her towel bed was all wet of course. If she had a BM then Skip must have cleaned it up. She seems in slightly better spirits than last night, but she's really not doing any better. I moved her to her clean, soft bed and fixed her supper. I have been giving her a Tylenol PM in her food to help with inflammation, pain, and to help her sleep. I think it helps make her a little more comfortable.

This was a slam-dunk, awesome, and major stressful day at work! The chats were steady and consistent. No let up. I took only ONE phone call before being asked to login to floor support. the agents seemed to be EXCEPTIONALLY STUPID today!!

WEDNESDAY – DECEMBER 27, 2006

11:19p – I woke up with the alarm clock at 11:00a this morning. Took care of Kira. Fixed some celery soup for breakfast. Put on some beans to cook in the crock pot. Updated some files. Picked Skip up from the train station. Went shopping. Now I am about to go eat and watch some more of the movie, "Bulletproof Monk." (I've seen it... but it was worth watching again...).

THURSDAY – DECEMBER 28, 2006

12:23a – Off to bed for me. I am so tired...

12:05p – Got out of bed. I woke up around 5:00a this morning and did not really go back to sleep until around 8 or 9:00a, and then I just dozed off and on.

2:43p – I finished watching "The Bullet Proof Monk," which I have already seen. The DVD messed up in the middle of watching it, but I finally got it to work. I put one of the "Into the West" DVD's that RD sent me into the play on the TV and it DOES work there. That's good, because I don't like to watch movies on my computer.

I have RD's package ready to go and some (not all) of my holiday cards. I am showered, shaved and headed out the door now to take these to the post office.

4:54p – Just got back. Got the cards & package in the mail. Went by Walgreen's, Aldi's, Wal-Mart and the Dollar Store. Then I picked Skip up from the train station. Oh... and I fueled up the car and went to Q-Mart.

FRIDAY – DECEMBER 29, 2006

10:20a – Just got up. Attended to Kira first thing. The house smells very bad. I mopped and put down fresh bedding. I lit a fragrance burner. Maybe that will help, but I think most of the odor is coming from her. I need to bathe her, but I cannot get her to the tub. She's just to heavy.

6:56p – I have not done much of anything today. Once again. I think it is because I hate leaving Kira alone. She has, in her last days, become a focal point of my life, but not a healthy one. It is tearing my heart to bits to watch her slowly dying.

I made chicken & dumplings for supper tonight. I bought canned biscuits, but I ended up making the dumplings from scratch. They did not come out too bad at all.

SATURDAY – DECEMBER 30, 2006

10:34a – I got up early and went to begin my morning task of cleaning up after Kira. I put her on her big blanket and pulled her into the living room and bleached the kitchen floor. The odor is still pervasive though. It should help some. I put another candle in the fragrance warmer. It's the most I can do right now.

RD had left me a note on my screen to check my email. She had a wonderful experience, so rare for her living in England and all. There was a troupe of Native American performers in her down town area. She braved the horrors of traffic for this special event. I am so happy for her to have had the experience. It was something she really needed to help connect her with her ancestry.

10:47a – I have to get my shower and such soon. Off to work again today.

Work was hectic. I took more phone calls than I have taken in a long time. About 20. I spent over 5 hours on floor support and stayed 5 chats deep most of that time.

On the way home I heard on NPR that Saddam Hussein had been hung this morning. He was already buried by the time I heard about it! I am not a proponent of the death penalty, but in this case, I had no objections. My main issue with capital punishment is that I am an American citizen. When the American government decides to execute someone, then I am implicated, as a voting member of that government. I do not like the idea of putting someone to death when statistics indicated that 7% of all death-row inmates are actually innocent. Also, think the true criminals should SUFFER for their crimes and not get to escape by death after draining taxpayers of hundreds, thousands, or sometimes millions of dollars in court costs or imprisoning expenses.

They should be stripped of their human rights, and made to slave for humanity until and when they die. THIS would be a more influential deterrent in my humble opinion.

I came home and watched the remainder of the new Superman movie. It as not bad. I enjoyed it. This version had a very solemn and haunting feel to it. And they have set themselves up for a sequel now since Lois Lane has had Superman's child. That was an interesting twist with tantalizing possibilities.

SUNDAY – DECEMBER 31, 2006

12:17p – I got up around 10:00a. Took care of Kira. Checked email. Now we are headed out to Fairview Heights. Skip needs to return his headboard.

Skip was unable to return his headboard to the store he bought it from because it had been over 72 hours since he purchased it. He was disgusted with the place and will never go back there. I could understand if he had purchased something that could be copied, like software or music; I could understand if it were perishable goods; but I do not understand what difference it makes with a wooden head board. I will never shop there either.

We left there in disgust and went to Boston Marked for lunch. I've not been there in a long time. I think the last time was back when I was working for Anheuser Busch in 2000. Skip bought lunch, and I bought an extra rotisserie hen to take to the party. The food was good; I love their chicken and their spinach side dish. The service was awful though. They were slow, seemingly stupid and demonstrably less then hygienic. I saw one of the cooks with rubber gloves on holding a handful of cash in his left hand and a handful of coins in the other. Who knows where that money has been or what germs and filth is on it? Then he went back to handling our food!

We came home and I made my hummus for the party. I finally left around 5:30p. I could not believe it. I got there and had to turn around and come back! I forgot my camera! I could not go all evening without it. Then, once I made the trip back home, got my camera and returned, I discovered that I had forgotten my case with my extra batter, tripod shoe, and remote control! I guess I will be starting the new year off very forgetful! Unlike Skip, who stayed home, cooked some beans, fell asleep and scorched them.

I had fun at the party anyway. Marty insisted I drink at least one of his spiked orange drinks, but I stuck to my usual beer for the rest of the evening. I got pleasantly tipsy, but Marty and JR got kind of trashed! lol...

And so ends 2006. With the new year, I begin my 5th decade of life. Kira is still with me, but sadly, her epitaph will read 1993-2007.