SUNDAY - January 1, 2006

11:38a – I just got home from the New Year's party a little bit ago.

I have been dragging all day. Partly due to the traditional hangover, of which I have a mild case, but mainly because I did not get to sleep until around 4:00a. And I slept in a strange place on a sofa. Plus, it was too hot for me. I am still sleeping with the window open and a fan on normally, but last night I slept next to a fireplace, sweating my butt off.

I went to bed early tonight, around 8:30p. However, I did not get to sleep until about 2:00a! As tired as I was, I could not go to sleep! That was very annoying. I did doze off around 11:00p for a short spell, but then I woke up and started coughing again, so I got up and made a pot of light, mostly broth soup and went back to bed. I am TRYING to be all refreshed to go back to work in the morning.

MONDAY - January 2, 2006

6:00a – It is STORMING outside. Tornado warnings, hail, thunder & lightening. It's nasty. I hit the snooze button, but I know I won't go back to sleep. Kira is a wreck with all the storming too.

6:08a – I give up... time to rise and get ready to go back to work. Skip is already up, awakened by the storm too. I will need to leave a little bit earlier I think.

6:48a – Leaving the house now.

6:57a – I am just in front of Quick Trip about a mile from the house and realize... I don't have my wallet! No money, no ID.... no license. Bad. Must run back to the house. I saw Ricky walking down Lazarcheff on the way in. If I see him on the way back, I will see if he needs a ride.

Oh great! What a fiasco. My wallet was in the car the entire time! DOH! I headed back out, going a little faster than I should. I saw Ricky, but he was walking back the other way. It looks like he just went down to the store to get a newspaper.

7:05a – I don't need this. Now I am having to wait for a train. Not the tail end of it either, but from the very beginning. I should be in the interstate already!

7:23a – Traffic has been amazingly light this morning. Absolutely no congestion at the bridge. One would think it was a holiday. I pull into the parking lot at work... and I am not late! Had traffic been "normal" I am sure I would be. Why are there no cars here already? This is looking suspicious. Okay... the front door of the building is locked. Guess what? There is a sign on the front door that says the Normandy School District is CLOSED until January 3rd! What?! I did not know we had MONDAY off! They told me TWO weeks. Not two weeks and one day. I called Margo and left her a message, just in case.

7:30a – I am heading back toward home. I've decided to use this time to go back by JR's place and pick up my camera battery that I left over there. It was another fiasco getting there from I-70. I could not find a way to get onto I-64 West. I ended up driving through downtown, and getting on Olive then Lindell. It was a long tedious route, but I made it. Then Bill G. was not up as I was hoping/expecting and I had to ring the phone until I woke Joey up. He let me in and I got my battery and headed home.

9:10a – So, here I am, back at home with another unexpected day off. At least I am surprisingly well rested and fresh today. I did not sleep that much, but I did not drink anything last night either. Plus, I have had some coffee this morning. The storms have gone away, and it is bright and sunny. Not cold at all. The high today is 56F in fact! I have my office window open. I think I will turn off the heat and open the living room window to air the place out a bit.

9:30p – I went to bed and took about a 2-3 hour nap this afternoon. I really needed it, but I bet it will

TUESDAY - January 3, 2006
Doug would be 50 years old today...

I did not sleep well last night and dreaded getting up this morning. I was a total grouch too. Got to work in plenty of time. Me and Nick distributed Palm Pilots this morning, but did not get much else accomplished for the remainder of the day. I hope the get us in a regular routine soon so that I do not wonder what my duties are supposed to be. I ate lunch at subway and read a little more of my book. I may get to the end of it... some day! I left work right at 4:30p, went home and picked up Skip, the took the car to BP and filled the tank, got a car wash, then to Q-Mart and home for real. RD's package FINALLY arrived today.

WEDNESDAY - January 4, 2006

6:35a – I slept better last night and had some wild dreams. Whoopie Goldberg was in on of my dreams. She was wearing a cape like item which she called a "Changa" ... or something. I also had a dream in which I was either blind, or pretending to be blind.

5:31p – I am home. Another long day working for Normandy School District. I get the feeling they are not going to hire me. At least today I did more technical work and feel like I got something accomplished. And I think I am learning my way around much better. I need to quit following Nick around so much and start doing some things on my own. Today we got many things done. We set up 2 synch stations at Lucas Cross; fixed a PC for V.Cox at Bel Nor; Provided an ink cartridge to a user at the Kindergarten Center and Nick got her up and running on the AS/400; and checked on the status of a Video Conferencing system at Bel Ridge. A couple of these tasks required 2 trips on-site, so we were fairly busy all day.

I am so tired now though. I hope I perk up some this evening.

10:01p – I've been cooking supper. Fried chicken nuggets, fried okra, mashed potatoes and flour gravy. I am off to eat now, and then to bed!

THURSDAY - January 5, 2006

6:24a – I slept okay last night, but Skip didn't. He was up with heartburn around 3:00a when I got up to let Kira out. I've been telling him all this fried food and beer, not to mention going to bed right after eating, is not a good thing. I think.

I put my rice on first thing this morning and made a festive mix of chicken and rice to share with Fred today. He ended up only eating part of it and dumping the rest out! I was a bit offended, but I will get over it.

We started off the morning first moving "Lisa's" office to a smaller room. That was a lot of physical labor. Then we went out to "the job corps center" and inventoried a lot of equipment. We did not get to lunch until 1:30p. We were supposed to unload the van at 2:30p (after lunch), but someone ended up needing it, so lunch was cut short to unload the van. I spent the afternoon working on trying to reformat 1 of 2 PC's. I had all kinds of issues with it, and I think Nick is starting to become antagonistic toward me. Maybe I threaten him since I am so much older. I don't know, but I really don't need inter-personal conflicts. I have enough problems. I learned this morning that Fred has his network login and an email account, yet when I asked about getting one, I was sort of brushed aside. This job is very stressful and the people all seem out to back stab, kiss ass, cut throat, or whatever it takes to get whatever they want. The "team" concept seems very foreign to this environment. I want to get hired on permanent, but frankly, a part of me will be relieved if this does not happen! (Not the financial part of me of course...).

6:40p – I am totally exhausted again tonight. At least I should sleep good again! This morning was the first time since starting this job that I was actually awakened BY the alarm. I am usually awake already and trying to ignore the time (with very little success). This morning I was in the midst of some dream and the alarm went off and interrupted it. I was very annoyed.

6:44p – Anyway, for now, I need to enter some bills into WheresGeorge.

7:37p – Wow. RD and I barely conversed tonight. Between her going to bed earlier here lately, and my being at (or exhausted from) work, we have not been our usual chatty selves.

I got about $57 dollars entered into WG tonight. My wallet now has $60 in it and Skip pays me rent tomorrow. That's really pretty good!

9:23p – I have supper heating up. Left over rice from this morning and chicken from yesterday. Skip is making soup for a change.

FRIDAY - January 6, 2006

Getting up this morning was quite a struggle, but I did it. Only fell about 5 minutes behind my desired schedule, but was about 10 minutes early to work.

I started off the morning completing the installation to the Optiplex GX-550. Nick ended up taking over when I was not there and fixing the problem. Good for him, but I did not get a chance to grasp what was going on. He keeps doing things like this and making me look inept. I really don't want to be "in competition" with him or any other co-workers, but he is so young and I think he may feel that he is in competition with me. I want to be a "team mate" ... but I don't think he gets it. I am starting to wonder about the fact that I, the only "white" person (despite my Amerind ancestry) is getting the blunt end of reverse discrimination. Fred (who is black [and Amerind]) was teamed up with EJ who is our supervisor. I was teamed up with the 20-something year-old intern, Nick. He is a brilliant young man with a bright future (if he ever gets over this macho phase), and I respect his abilities MOST highly. He took the same IQ test that I took and got a 132 (mine was 131).

(So far, during the writing of this narrative, my computer has rebooted at least 3 times, and I have had to re-write my entries so many times, I am confused as to what I have written).

Anyway, I have heard a rumor that it had been reported to Mr. Weakly ('the boss') that 'I am not catching on quickly enough.' This burns me up. I have not had the opportunity to NOT catch on as yet!! I have no network login, no AS/400 login, no email account, and most of my time here has been spent moving furniture and doing manual labor! I have had no training to speak of and no practically no indoctrination into the system employed by this organization. What little I *have* learned has proven to me that they are a back-biting and disorganized group who revel in political intrigue and who love to exploit their own self importance.

Rumor further has it that I was supposed to be spoken to and let go today, but that maybe I will get another chance. Do I want the job? Well... my bank account sure does. I need the work, but I do NOT need the humiliation or degradation of this experience.

9:52p – I am really very depressed and frustrated over my current "job" issue. Maybe I should just pursue the DISABILITY route and let others pay my way. That is not the way I would like things to go, but I am getting old, tired, depressed and just not able to deal with all the hassle of trying to perform one's duties these days. I would like to have good job and earn my keep, but if I can't, I can't. Of course, I know I can. I just have to FIND the RIGHT job.

However... will that happen? Who knows. It's a matter of chance and circumstance.

10:25p – I have been thinking more about my job situation. I have been working with this young man, Nick, for several days. If any opinion has been developed, it is by him. He is the main person to have an opinion about me since I have been working with him most of the time. So... now that I consider that, I realize it must be his influence that puts me in this awkward and distasteful position.

10:29p – Despite all that negative crap, I am still having a good time cooking supper. I am cooking chicken drumsticks, seasoned, in broccoli, and cheese. We will see how it goes! I am making it up as I go.

11:30p – Well, I have at least one bright spot in the middle of this mess. Skip thinks I should drop this messy job and move on. He is as disgusted by them, or maybe more so, than I am. That's good to know. I am probably going to end up telling them to Frell off... but... we will see.

SATURDAY - January 7, 2006

7:19a – I am up early after all. I woke up at about 5:15a and let Kira out, then lay in bed unable to sleep. Then the coughing started, so I got up and made some soup. The soup is done and I am sitting down with a Disney movie, "Sky High" to start off my morning.

8:12a – This movie is very entertaining so far. It has a lot of parallels to Harry Potter I am noticing.

9:07a – That was a very good movie. Very "Disney-ish" but I enjoyed it.

6:27p – I rented a Rug Doctor this afternoon, but I am not motivated to start using it yet.

11:02p – Skip got the carpet cleaner running and cleaned some of the carpet tonight. I fixed burritos and now I am stuffed.

SUNDAY - January 8, 2006

10:35a – I managed to sleep in this morning. Of course, I was up so many times last night, and I had so many wild dreams, I am not sure I feel very rested. I think I am going to watch the movie I rented last night, "Serenity."

3:50p – We are returning the Rug Doctor. The floor looks a lot better, though it still could stand to have more work done on it.

5:00p – I am watching "Serenity" on DVD now.

6:05p – Still watching the movie.

9:17p – The movie was good. It explained a lot of things that were not clear in the series. I was surprised to see a main character killed though.

Meanwhile, I have been boiling skin and fat from all the chicken I bought today. I will make seasoning from it. Now I have chicken cooking and will make some brussel sprouts to go with it. I am taking some for lunch tomorrow. I wonder if it will be my last day? I kind of hope so. I am thinking quite strongly once again about following through with the disability route.

10:09p – Supper is about done. I have updated my birthdays and memorials on this page, including a memorial to Lorraine Reed, wife to Penny Reed. I never met her, but Penny has been a dear friend for over 30 years.

10:11p – I sure don't want to go to work tomorrow. I am over this "job." I am seriously thinking about quitting and going back to the idea of "disability." It pays too little, but I just don't care any more. I am getting tired of dealing with all the crap.

11:52p – Time for bed! I should have been in bed already...

MONDAY - January 9, 2006

6:30a – I slept adequately last night, despite dreading going back to this horrid job.

6:51p – Well... this day was not as bad as I expected! Of course, we started off moving about 20 boxes of paper and stacking them on a top shelf in a closet. The we had to move 4 PC's, a laser printer and a heavy monitor down to the van... and of course the one and only elevator was our of commission. So, we had to carry it all by hand down 6 flights of steps. My knew just about went out on me, but we got 'er done. After this, Nick and I rode over to the High School and I basically "watched" while he did things, no explanation provided. Then we went to (I think) the Alternative Learning Center and got an entire row of PC's running (someone had swapped a Ethernet cable around); we got another 2 workstations installed. I got one of them up & running with Nick's help, and he got the other one going. Much of our times was spent trying to find someone who had a key to let us into the area where the monitor, keyboards and mice were stored. Nick dropped me off back at the central office at 12:15 and I got my lunch and my book I found out the microwave in the snack area is for decoration only (no outlett available), so I ate my lunch cold. I am finally starting to read again after months of not being able to pick my book up. I am continuing to read the book I was reading last April ("The Children of Hastur").

Before we left on our excursions this morning, before loading the van with the hardware in fact, Mr. Weakly called each of us into his office behind closed doors. I though, "okay... here it comes!" I began my relaxation routines and gathered my calm. I am much better at it these days than I was when I was young. (Maybe fat, wrinkles and gray hair are calming?!). I was not terribly surprised with he told me that they would be ending the contract with Kelly at the end of this week on Friday. However, it did take me by surprise when he told me that they were posting several job positions, including something like a "Technical Assistant" and advised me to updated my resume and submit it to Human Resources. From what I have been told, we are definitely going to be hired on as permanent employees, but at a lower pay rate. I really have no problem with this since it actually works out quite well when you figure in the benefits (which include winter break and spring break... about 2 weeks each, plus other holidays).

(My PC crashed at this point, so I must regather my scattered wits).

7:39p – So, after lunch, we had a lengthy meeting behind closed doors discussing the various possible ramifications of the upcoming changes. For Fred and myself, our employment technically ends as of this Friday. We have been "told" that we will be hired on permanent as of next week, but ... I am leery of verbal promises.

Monday is a holiday (MLK day). Tuesday all NSD employees must attend a mandatory lecture of some sort. I am not sure what it's all about yet. EJ said that we should report in on Tuesday like normal, but I am... well... we will see!

7:43p – We finished off the day by taking about 4 Gateway PC's over to the High School, then we went to Lucas Crossing and testing some wireless network connections, and reviewed SmartBoard functions. We have to pass out laptops for use with SmartBoard tomorrow.

7:46p – We barely got back to the central office and out on time. I gave Fred a ride over to his mother's place in E. St. Louis.

9:16p – Oh my. I just got a nasty, nasty posting in my guest book. I probably should not even post this garbage, but in fairness I will, and then I will respond. You may wish to skip over this sectin if you don't like profanity, because I am not very nice. Maybe this "Joe" person will respond. Probably not.

Signed, "Joe" (no email address or any other means to identify or respond to this person).

I was very hurt and saddened to see such a personal attack on me. I have enough problems without this. Of course, I could just dismiss these accusations, roll my eyes, and move on, but maybe this is a valid image that some people might have of me. As distressing and upsetting as that may be.

So, let me address you , Mr. Joe, who can say mean and nasty things while hiding safely behind your anonymity. Let me respond to your accusations. I would email you privately, but since you have failed to identify yourself, I will just add it right here in my journal for all to read.

Well... I feel better getting THAT off my chest!

Oh... Skip wanted me to take this STAR WARS test tonight. This was my result...

TUESDAY - January 10, 2006

It was raining this morning and rained almost all day. Driving to work in the rain is very intense. I don't like it.

My money was direct deposited today. Only 4 day's pay, but it helps.

I was supposed to give Fred a ride to pick up his car from the dealership tonight, but I was with Nick at Jeffereson and we were late getting back. Fortunately, I called Fred and asked him to get my keys, glasses & briefcase out before they locked up! Unfortunately, it was nearly 5:00p already and there was no way I could get him to the dealership in Belleville by closing time at 5:30p. This was a major inconvenience for both of us.

10:49p – I just ate supper. Rice and left over stuff from last night. That will be lunch tomorrow too.

WEDNESDAY - January 11, 2006

6:24a – I was in the middle of a sound sleep, though having a disturbing dream, when the alarm went off this morning. I managed to get up and have my shower completed by 6:15a. Skip will appreciate that.

I got a very support message from a friend who I will keep anonymous in regard to the nasty message from that hateful person the other day.

7:20p – I just had a restrained, yet vehement response from my dear friend, RubyDancingmoon...

8:54p – Hmmm... much to my surprise, the mysterious and sad person who calls himself (or herself) "Joe" has struck again with his or her caustic and demeaning remarks. I am going to try not to respond in the same cruel and hateful tone as this person. They obviously have serious problems. Anyway, here is tonight's attack on me...

8:58p – As you can see, they still hide in cowardice and do not openly identify themself. I would not do so either,

 considering how embarrassing it would be! I won't bother to comment about their (lack of) spelling abilities.

I was more than a bit disgusted with the "Jungle Bunnies" comment. I am sick of dealing with prejudice, bigotry, and so forth. How sad. What a waste of human energy. He says he used to work with me... what a dismal thought. I don't know why anyone would dislike me, unless I did something to them. I don't know what I might have done to anyone to make them say such vile things, but if I did I would like to know. Maybe I owe an apology to someone? ... though frankly I do not see THAT happening to this ...err... "person."

As far as being fired... well, I was not. I was one of 2 people laid off. I could not have collected unemployment otherwise. Management even told me when the time came that they could not fault my professionalism, skills or performance. And I know I was very good at my job. I helped reduce problem calls going to our technicians by approximately 47%.

However, quite frankly, I think Joe is right in a sense. I think I did lose my job as a result of my health issues, but it was all hidden behind a nice professional facade. Despite the laws in place to protect people with disabilities (and I do, unfortunately, legally fall under the auspices of the "Americans with Disabilities Act"), my employer managed to work their way around the law and remove me from my job anyway. Maybe it was for the best in the long run, but it is definitely not this Joe person's place to judge me. What Joe may not know, is that it costs about $1,000.00 per month in meds just to keep me alive.

He says I called in 6 days a month over a headache. I am not sure where he gets this misinformation. I was permitted, according to my FMLA filing, to miss up to 3 days per month due to illness. I never went over that. I did go to work many days feeling very sick, but I managed and got through it. I just gritted my teeth and kept on smiling and trying to be an "uplifting" and professional person. I gave it my best, and that's all anyone can do.

As for the "headaches" he is referring to... I am not sure. I suppose it refers to the "male cluster migraines" that I started having in November of 2002. I had gone for several years without any recurrence of these devastating headaches, but on Thanksgiving day of 2002, they hit me again. For the next month or two, I would have 2 or 3 attacks per week. I would lay in bed screaming in agony. It was awful. My brother would leave our apartment and go sit in the stairwell to read his book because I was making so much noise screaming, and there was just nothing he could do. I cannot begin to explain how bad it was, but my doctor put me on Atenalol to control my blood pressure, which was WAY out of control, and sent me for a MRI. That is when they found out I had previously experienced a 'mini-stroke.'

Three months later I began a regimen of medication that would mess my life up in many ways, yet save it over all. I will have to take all these medications for the rest of my life. I could just give up and go on disability. I am so tempted, but I just can't bring myself to do that ... at least not yet. I still have things I want to do, and learn, and experience. I feel that once I go on disability, it's all down hill from there.

So, why (you might ask) am I "explaining myself" to such an obvious asshole? Good question. I think it is because I hate the idea that someone does not like me. I try so hard to be a "good" person; a likeable person. I tell the truth, I respect honor and decency. I love my family and respect them. I try to be a spiritual person and respect nature. I honor my ancestors and try to respect all life. I do this with the most serious and deep feelings of humanitarianism. I have spent over 25 years of my life studying, learning, practicing and participating in the language of Esperanto in order to add my small abilities toward the progress of mankind. Can you, Joe, (or whoever you are) offer any such testimony? Will Joe say anything at all to even reveal him/herself as a responsible member of society? I expect not, but if he/she does, I will of course post that too. Fair is fair.

It is really so very sad to think that some person out there has such an uninformed and poor opinion of me. I have my failings. I am not perfect. The Creator knows, I have many dark corners in my life which I have not expounded upon in my journals! Nor, likely, will I, as such things are something that I should not put on-line.

However, today and for many years, I have live a very proper and restrained life. I drink a little beer, and sometimes I use profane words; however, I do not smoke, do no drugs, I do not gamble, I don't go to bars and "carouse," nor do I engage in frivolous sex (in fact, I remain quite chaste). I even observe the speed limit, wear my seat belt, insure my car, pay all my bills, pet my dog... and... sheesh... what else can I say? I do the best I can, despite adverse circumstances, to be the best person I can be.

I even spent over 5 years (from June 7, 200 until November 18, 2005) with no car. I made a vow to go for 3 years with NO car in order to respect and protect Elohi, our mother Earth. That was a personal vow between me and Elohi. At the end of the three years, I made a new vow, making it FIVE years. The five years were up as of June 2005. In November, due to financial pressures, I gave in and bought a car. I am very proud of myself to sticking to my vow and would ask Joe what he/she has done to promote our world in even such a small way as this?

So, "Joe," ... you call me a loser. I am annoyed (much as I am annoyed by a mosquito bite), but your accusations and perceptions are so wrong. I don't know who you are. I don't know if you really 'worked with me at Barnes' or not, but if you did, then I must ask what did *I* ever do to incite you to such malignant and mean commentary? You can call me a loser, a "white honky" (lol... how out-dated!), or whatever. I still know who I am, what I am dealing with, who my friends are and I still respect myself. I have been through Hell and back and managed to survive! There was a time when I was disgusted with myself, quite frankly. But today I am proud of and stand by my life's decisions. Not for all that I have done, but for all that I have overcome. I won't discuss the details here, but I made it through things you will probably never comprehend. I hope you don't. I can't count you as an "enemy" since you are too anonymous to warrant such a title, but if you were someone I called "enemy" ... I would not even wish upon you some of the things I have been through.

Anyway... I have spent more time on you than you merit. I still have many friends at Wash. U. and keep in touch with them on a daily basis. I have friends from my time working with Orange County Florida, the City of Orlando, and Wash. U. I gather friends and hold on to them, and cherish them. I have mentioned your vile comments to some of them and they mostly think I am being stupid to even respond to you. Of course, they are correct, but it is my nature. I can't stand to think that there is someone out there who could so misunderstand and despise me for such unwarranted reasons. Of course, you appear to be a very judgmental and prejudiced person, based upon your comments to date, so I don't expect my efforts will be anything other than a waste of time in your case. However, my comments have added a good deal of commentary to my own journals which may give my descendants more insight into who I was some day in the future when I am only a memory. I will grudgingly thank you for stimulating my thoughts to that level, but advise you that you are sadly misunderstanding me, my life and/or what has happened to me recently. (I am still bothered by your comment/assumption that I would have tax payers pay for my car... lol... I don't get THAT one!).

10:35p – Wow. I wasted way too much time on that watoli ! I need to finish supper and get to bed. Fortunately, I now have my medications fairly well balanced and organized so that I am not so sick every day. I still gag and nearly puke every morning... but, I manage. It passes. However, it is about time for me to spend another chunk of money to buy another 3 months worth of meds. That, plus rent. will about wipe out the next 2 weeks of pay checks. <sigh>

11:02p – Ugh! I am full! I only had chicken & rice for lunch, and a variation of the same thing for supper. All the hard work I am doing, plus the lack of eating, may... *just may* ... help me lose a few pounds! I hope so. I am so tired of this annoying gut. I have never been "fat" ... until recent years. I don't like it.

11:10p – Kira is outside. I need to let her in, then crash.

THURSDAY - January 12, 2006

6:23a – I was dreaming this morning that I had gone to England to visit Ruby Dancingmoon. I can't remember all the details, but toward the end of the dream, I was standing in front of her home waiting for her to get home. With me were my mother and my sister Darlene. I suddenly noticed a brown freckle on on both of their faces in approximately the same spot. I have one in the same place. I comment to them about it and I remember thinking that RD would probably think we really looked alike with this matching freckle on our faces. Then I mentioned to my sister about a "constellation" of freckles I have on my chest that looks almost just like the "Little Dipper" constellation in the sky at night. My sister pulled down the front of her blouse and it turns out she had the same configuration of freckles too. However, she argued that this pattern could be found in in nearly any series of dots.

The dream continued and sudden a swarm of people descended upon RD's home. We entered, along with the crowd of people, some of them were wearing some kind of red and white uniform. I wend my way through the throng and to sit down on a chair on the far side of the room and suddenly my cell phone started beeping. I realized that it was my alarm and that back in the States my alarm clock must be going off. I tried to do the math to figure out what time it must be in England, and somehow came up with 11:00p (which could not be right). The beeping got louder and I suddenly woke up and realized... it really WAS my alarm clock! Time to get up!

6:37a – Getting up was a struggle. I turned on my light and lay there in a daze for 4 minutes before I could drag myself out of bed. It's odd that I can get up fairly easy to let Kira out 2 or 3 times during the night, but when I have to get up for work, I am suddenly a zombie. Probably because I know I can't crawl back into bed in a moment.

6:38a – Yesterday we did not accomplish much in my opinion. Four of us spent several hours at the high school and about all that all we had accomplished when it was over was to get a printer set up to print. I felt that my time could have been spent more productively just sitting back at the office sorting and organizing boxes of CD's. At least I would be getting something done.

7:00p – Whew! Tired again. I sure hope I am losing some weight with all the work I am doing lately. Carrying things, running up & down stairs, walking all over the place. Today Fred and I got to go out to the Alternative Learning Center and do some work on our own. I felt like we got something accomplished for a change. Then in the after afternoon, we all went out to the High School. At first, we were not getting much accomplished other than following EJ around. But then he put us in the "East Lab" and had us check the condition of about 30 PC's. Once I got a system going, it was not bad. (Except the room was stifling hot!). When we got back to the office, I put all my information into a spread sheet, color coded and sent EJ a copy, and copy to Fred to enter his collected data into also. I think EJ doesn't know what to think about several such display of efficiency, organization and skills. I hope he doesn't think I am trying to show him up or something. I am trying to make him look good, because that will make us look good, and the Creator knows this place needs SOMETHING to look good! The clients do not have a very high opinion of the Technology Department, and for good reason so far.

7:24p – My frelling computer just rebooted again and I lost about 20 minutes of work. This is happening a lot lately. RD's computer is crashing on her now too from what she posted in an IM to me earlier, and she is not on-line tonight. That is not a good sign. I hope her system is okay.

I got another response from an old friend who has known my for nearly 30 years in regard to the ugly posting of that depraved person who has been saying vile and slanderous things about me...

I post my journal on-line for all to read, so I don't have a problem with who reads it. I don't know that I am 'courageous' for doing so. Lots of people are blogging these days. Of course, I started keeping my diary, which I later called my "journal" ... and decline to refer to as my "blog" in May of 2000. But I started keeping a real diary back in March of 1976. It is not as detailed, but it is very old and a cherished belonging. Here is my diary entry from my old diary on this date in 1997...

I really find looking back at these old notes and entries fascinating to me. I am reminded of so many small, inconsequential things that have been part of my life.

7:55p – Oh great. I think I am getting sick. I noticed I was getting all stuffy at lunch, but I don't get sick very often these days. However, tonight, I am sneezing and my sinuses are clogged, and I think I have a low grade fever. Just one more day of work, and I can sleep in and catch up on my rest. I think I will just make a hearty pork soup for supper tonight, with some sinus clearing spices.

7:58p – Meanwhile, I have some bills to pay and maybe some bills to enter into WG.

8:20p – The PC rebooted again. This is getting ridiculous! I need a new PC soon. (Maybe I can get tax payers to pay for it! lol!!). Actually, I have $527 in rolled coins built up again. I could buy a good PC with loose change.

10:24p – Time for bed. I made a pot of pork & tomato soup (spicy). My sinuses are more clear and I feel better. I hope I do not get heart burn or acid reflux from it. We will see.

FRIDAY - January 13, 2006

6:44a – It's Friday at last! I need this weekend badly. I have been hyperdosing myself with vitamin C, but I am still sniffling and sneezing this morning. It's rare for me to get a cold. But working in a school system, going from keyboard to keyboard and mouse to mouse, it no wonder. Kira kept me awake much of the night. I have suspected for a long time that she has cancer and I think it is starting to get worse.

I think she was in distress much of the night, panting and maybe in some pain. I am not sure. I can't sleep when I am worrying about her. 8:15p – So, today is the end of my employment under Kelly IT Services. At least as it pertains to NSD as a contract employee. I turned in my resume to the HR section today and picked up an application which I needed to fill out. I got that filled out and got it in under the wire at about 4:25p.

Well... the PC just rebooted AGAIN! ... and I forgot what I wrote.

8:40p – I am making a pot of soup again tonight.

So, today we worked at the High School again. There are major connectivity problems there. I think they need to bring SBC in to checking the fiber optics connections between buildings, but I hear they are not good about paying the bills, so that may be a problem too. Why am I not surprised!? lol....

I spent much of the morning "inventorying" the connection status of machines in the High School's West, Central and East buildings on various floors. (Oh... and a fight broke out at one point! I just stayed quietly behind closed doors until it ... subsided.) [DreamWeaver just crashed...] Once again, I was not clearly provided with the specific requirements of this 'inventory' so I did the best I could and gathered all the information I thought would be relevant. I then compiled this all into a spreadsheet back at the office and sent it to Fred to add his data into. I was surprised at how little data he collected. I don't blame him really, since we were never really TOLD the EXACT items to collect, and I probably over compensated (based on experience...).

8:50p – Oh! It was raining this morning when I left for work. Just slightly. Then it started to hail very mildly by the time I got to the office. Then snow started to fall, and continued to fall most of the day. My car was covered in about one inch by the time I left for home. It took me about 15 minutes to scrape & brush the windows so I could see to drive home. I got my resume handed in to the HR department this afternoon, and (just under the wire), I got an official application filled out and handed in (right at 4:25p). 10:02p – Time to eat and go to bed! I have a pork & tomato type soup simmering now.

10:35p – Supper was VERY good. Yum. I also had a small bowl of Skip's beans. I am off to bed now... with NO ALARM CLOCK BEING SET!!! 4

SATURDAY - January 14, 2006

Remembering Patricia Burgay, a former co-worker whom I knew for many years. She passed on at the age of 67 today, in Orlando, Florida

9:48a – It was such a luxury to sleep in late this morning. I still had to get up around 1:00a, 3:00a and 6:00a to let Kira out though, and it took away from my sleep time. I am not sure if I really get 8 hours of sleep or not. I doubt it. That's a lot to some people, but considering my health issues, it is a medical minimum... which I rarely meet.

9:56a – I just got off the phone with Fred. He has his time sheet with him, but not signed. Mine is still sitting under the edge of my keyboard in the office, so I will have to go in to get it.

1:28p – I am waiting on Skip to get ready, then I need to go make a car payment, and then we are going to Costco. I need to go by Wal-Mart first, however.

4:50p – PC rebooted again and I lost a paragraph. I will have to reconstruct it from memory. Again.

5:02p – Skip and I went to Granite City to make my car payment, but they were closed. I tried calling, but there was no answer, no voice mail, nothing. I guess I will try to pay them on Monday. However, the car is having a problem. It's the same problem that it has had all along with oil burning in the engine, but I fear it is getting worse. We stopped at a signal and could see smoke coming from under the hood. Not good. I tried to find some place to take it to have it looked at, but everyone was closed. I drove back to Cahokia to Valvoline and they checked it out. They found that my oil pan gasket and rear main seal are leaking. The could not do the repairs, but they did at least top off my oil for nothing. That was very courteous of them. From there I drove a block down the street to Dobb's Automotive. They are not able to repair it either. In this car, to replace the seals, the motor is going to have to be moved! I bet this is going to be expensive.

Needless to say, we did not risk driving to Costco. I think it will be okay to drive around to the store and such, but I don't want to go any further. Monday is a holiday for me, but most car repair places will be open. I will try to get it fixed then. I don't like waiting, but I don't really have a choice. I may have to take it to the dealer. I dread the cost.

7:32p – I made a pot of soup made up of a scoop of Skip's chili, and a can of tomato soup, which I ate at around 5:30p. It left me feeling very bloated! Ugh! This cold is still weighing me down. I feel yucky.

SUNDAY - January 15, 2006

1:27a – I was just reading Jack's blog. He has a cold too. Then... I looked at the time. DAMN! It's after 1:00a!! I have to eat and go to bed. NOW. 1:44a – I am off to bed now. 3:00a – Just let Kira out. Sleepy... 10:21a – I got up at about 9:57a, gave Kira her pills, fed Chooga, opened up the blinds to let light in (Skip never does this), lit an oil warmer, and made a bowl of chicken noodle soup to start off my day. I still feel sick, but my sinuses seem to be a little little "runny" today. So far. I will take that as a good sign. Of course, once I eat this bowl of soup, my nose is going start running again. But that's okay... it should help break up all this congestion.

Getting organized... maybe!

1:15p – I just finished filling out my request for my transcripts from Valencia Community College in Orlando. It's in the envelope and ready to go. I think I am going to start working on getting my Bachelor's Degree. I am not sure yet. It depends on a lot of factors, including cost and time. The postage just went up this month from .37 cents to .39 cents, and (of course) I have half a book of .37¢ stamps left, so Kira and I drove over to Schnuck's to pick up some 2¢ stamps. They don't sell them! They do have a machine that sells two 2¢ stamps for a dollar, but that is stupid! That means I would pay 50¢ for a 2¢ stamp, which when added to a 37¢ stamp would cost me 87¢ total. So, I just put two 37¢ stamps on the envelope, and spent no money. I am still over charged at 74¢, but that is better than the 87¢ ... plus spending a dollar.

7:04p – I am just finally sitting down after working on getting my & paperwork organized. I got a lot accomplished! My bills, papers, etc., have been piling up and gathering for the past 5 or 6 years since moving from Florida. I had a system going back then, but since moving, everything has changed. I have moved 3 times, changed jobs, etc. It has been chaotic, but its not going to get better by magic. I have to get serious and start keeping my stuff organized again. I made a major leap into that today! 7:56p – I stepped out in the front yard and snapped some shots of a very spectacular sunset tonight.

I also took a shot of some geese flying over and then I blended the two pictures together for this fantastic shot. The two pictures were taken from different angles, but only seconds apart from each other.

MONDAY - January 16, 2006

12:10a – Wow... it is late! I did not realize! I have supper cooked. Beef, rice broccoli & cheese and veggies. I better eat and crash soon!

12:59a – I am off to bed. Much later than intended!

9:57p – This has been absolute SUCKY day!

First, I called around and it look like it is going to cost me a little of $1000 to have the 2 seals replace on the car. Oh, and it is 10 hours of work. In fact, the parts are only about $70, and over $900 in labor. Just to replace 2 frelling oil seals! I am not happy at all.

I tried to fix (or determine HOW to fix) the light switch on the ceiling fan in my room today. I needed a very fine screw driver, so I went out and got the set that Marty bought me for Yule and cut out one of the screw drivers from this set. This would end up haunting me later!

Then the kitchen sink is still clogged. We have worked on getting it to flow most seriously, but I fear it's not going to happen. I went to Wal-Mart and picked up a "Zip Stick" to try to unclog the drain, but the clog is too far into the system for the short Zip Stick to reach. We have tried about a half gallon of gel drain cleaner with no effect. We finally pulled all the pipes out from under the sink and tried the Zip Stick from a more direct location; with no effect. Then I got a clothes hanger and made a crude "snake" to try to reach in and unclog it. Still not good. The clog is deep in the system and I can't reach it. So, next idea; we decided to run over to Wal-Mart and get some Draino. We got the Draino and some sealing for the pipes with no problem, but then the REAL problems began! The car would not start! The battery has apparently been bouncing up against a metal frame and shorting out. This may be the reason for the various electrical problems I have noticed since buying the car. So, this time, we assume, the battery jounced against this frame and lodged there, thus draining the battery. We came out of the store and the car was DEAD.

After a bit a lamenting over our quandary, I went back inside and bought a replacement battery. But then we could not get the old battery out and had to go back in and buy tools to get the old battery out! So the tools I have been carrying around for over a month ended up being useless since I took them out of my car on the ONE day that I needed them! (I said it would come back to haunt me!).

After a couple of trips in and out of Wal-Mart, buying tools and getting progressively distraught, we finally ended up having this very wonderful black dude give us a hand. (Bless his heart! ... kind of appropriate for MLK day maybe?). Anyway, he helped us get a jump start. We never did get the new battery connected. In fact, we came to the conclusion that the battery was probably fine. I will return it if I can (the receipt got rained on though ... so we shall see...).

The car started! YAY! We paid the guy a couple of bucks for his help, and headed home. I turned on Kenneth and Armand and ... the car died! NO!!! We rolled a short distance, then came to a dismal halt. I was really just NOT ready for any of this. I was just running to the store to pick up some Draino for the friggin' stopped-up drain! (It's almost funny... but ... NOT).

So, we had to leave the car pushed over into the yard of some house (I think no one lives there). I locked it up, and Skip and I began to walk home. Of course, I am just getting over a cold, and I only wore my flip-flops for a quick outing to the store, and therefore I found my self walking home in the dark, in the cold, and in the rain, with only my flip-flops on and my toes a-freezin'!

This is just wonderful. Tomorrow is 'officially' my first day on my new job at Normandy and I am not going to be able to make it. Skip says I should try to take the bus/train/bus route in to work, but I pointed out to him that I cannot leave the car sitting there! It will get towed away and then I will have ONE MORE problem to contend with. (Lordy... I sure DO NOT need this!!).

I called EJ's phone and left a message. I will call him again in the morning. Maybe they will be understanding. Maybe not. I expect nothing. I will just do what I can do.

So, since all this, I poured some Draino in the sink. As I expected, it is not making a difference. I guess we will have to call a plumber. I need to call Blake about this.

10:35p – Skip just told me he is going to call in tomorrow an "emergency" day. Since it is after a holiday, it will cost him. I would rather he did not, but it is his decision.

Oh... what a day. I am really depressed over it all.

11:01p – I just sent most of the above narrative to EJ (my supervisor). I hope he can be understanding and supportive, but the way my luck has been going, I am not expecting much. Meanwhile, time for me to go fix some leftover supper...

11:38p – I am off to bed. Skip is watching "The Cave."

TUESDAY - January 17, 2006

12:43p – I got up at 7:30a and called EJ. He had left a message for me saying not to come in today anyway, so that worked out good. I called Fred and let him know what's going on as well. EJ said he would sign my time card and put it in the mail for me.

12:47p – The car is back home. Skip and I walxked down to it and got the new battery in. It was bitterly cold and the battery was not very cooperative, but we got it done. Skip did most of it of course. He is better at that kind of thing than I am. We drove the car home and then secured the battery down more securely. We used a bungee cord, and it looks a bit tacky, but not as tacky a the cottage cheese lid and zip ties we used as an insulator.

4:58p – I called and left a message for Blake about the clogged kitchen sink. He called back and says to go ahead and call a plumber and take the cost off rent. I was hoping to avoit doing that, but I don't think I see a way around it. This is a very serious clog.

10:35p – I finished up labeling and further organizing my documents tonight. I got labels printed and placed on folders, and all placed into the file drawers. It is about full though!

I called Fred a bit ago and asked what he is doing tomorrow. Neither of us has been contacted and we don't know if we are supposed to work tomorrow or not. Skip thinks I should drive in tomorrow, but I am worried about the car's condition. If it was not a problem, I would 100% agree with him. But drinving to work, not sure if I am supposed to be working or not, and risking being stranding with a malfunctioning car...

I just don't know what to do!

11:17p – I am off to bed.

WEDNESDAY - January 18, 2006

11:44p – I got up about 6:50a. I called the office at about 7:31a and spoke to EJ. He still did not know if we were supposed to report in for work or not. Curtis called a little later and advised the the proposal for our positions has not been signed yet; therefore, we do not start work yet. I wonder how long this is going to take? I don't mind lounging around the house, but I need to work and earn money.

9:30p – I got a few things accomplished today. I got the car payment taken care of over the phone. I also got auto repair shop's numbers to call to see if I can get the repairs done more cheaply. I picked Skip up around 5:00p and we stopped by Schnuck's on the way home. The car seems to be doing fine (so far). We went to Tru-Value and bought a drill-driver driven 20' snake to clear the kitchen clog. We used it tonight and... YAY! The CLOG IS GONE!  It is such a luxury all of a sudden to wash dishes in the KITCHEN sink instead of the BATHROOM sink! 9:35p – I am cooking a chicken and stuffing dish that Skip bought tonight. It is kind of like a Hamburger Helper type thing. I added a few personal touches, including onion slices, seasonings, and black sesame seeds. In fact... I think it is time to eat! 10:09p – Ugh! Supper was good! I am stuffed. Off to bed now. I guess I don't work tomorrow still. Still no word.

THURSDAY - January 19, 2006

10:08a – I guess I am still not working today. I haven't called, but they haven't called me either.

12:31p – I am getting the dishes done. I didn't think Skip would end up doing them, but I sure didn't think we would go through all the hassles we had to go through either. Nevertheless, I can't take the filthy kitchen any longer. I have to have it cleaned up.

2:30p – The dishes are nearly all done... at last! This is such a beautiful day. The temperature is 64°F. I have all the windows open and the heat off. 2:46p – Darn. I just found another whole stack of dishes I was over looking. I am not nearly as close to beingfinished as I thought. I tried calling EJ again a little after 4:00p. No answer and his voice mail said it was "...not accepting messages at this time." 5:58p – Just got home. Picked up Skip, took the old car battery in for the core charge, bought some household goods and vitamings for Kira, dropped of Skip's move (The Cave), ran by Q-Mart and... home. 8:26p – Supper is in progress. I am making Campbell's "Supper Bakes" ... the "Creamy Stroganoff Sauce with Pasta" version. Skillet version.

9:26p – Supper is coming along fine. I added onion & bell pepper to the basic mix. Then toward the end, I added some jalapeño slices on top of the dish and smothered it in shredded cheddar. (LOL... Campbell's should pay me a royalty! ... Skip says I will be lucky if the don't sue me!!).

10:31p – Supper eaten and off to bed. Do I work tomorrow? Who knows. It does not appear so at this point. I am not going to bother to set my alarm, at any rate.

FRIDAY - January 20, 2006

1:20a – Letting Kira out.

2:43a – Kira wants out again, but it's too soon. I told her to lay back down and, to my surprise, she did.

4:54a – She got me up again. This time I figured I had better let her out.

4:55a – I was dreaming about skating. I was at some rink and I needed a drink. The snack bar proprietor did not seem to want to let me have a drink if I were not buying anything though, so I made a big fuss, grabbed a glass off a table, and filled it myself from a faucet, then skated away. Odd dream.

5:47a – I can't get back to sleep. I've laying in bed watching the History channel. An interesting program about Egypt. The mentioned the website www.eternalegypt.org. I will have to investigate it later.

9:56a – I finally let Kira out of the room around 7:00a and, with the TV on, dozed fitfully off & on for a while. I finally got up a few minutes ago. In the background was a narrative about Houdini, which affected my dreams at one point.

11:57a – I am off to the store to get some of the leg quarters onsale for .28¢ per pound. I better stock up on cheap, abundant food they way things are looking so far.

2:17p – I got all the chicken cut up, skinned & put in the the 'box. 23 drumsticks and 25 thighs. the skin & fat is simmering on the stove, and I made chicken & rice for a late lunch. I am starving! I have not eaten yet today.

2:30p – I just received a text message on my phone from RD telling me that her 10 year old cat, Cassy, died suddenly! Possible heart attack. This is very sad. I have known RD and her fur-kids for several years now. I am so sorry to hear this. It reminds me once again how fast something like this can happen, and how old my Kira is.

11:37p – I made another supper of Campbell's Supper Bakes. Some Chicken variation. It was very good. I am off to bed now, though. SATURDAY - January 21, 2006 9:03a – I got up around 8:45a. Kira only got me up once during the night and I slept fairly solid for a change, except for disturbing dreams. 10:52a – I just installed DreamWeaver 8. Now... to learn how to USE it! 3:08p – I just learned that the whale which had swam up the Thames river in London has died. Sad news. I have spent much of this afternoon working on my taxes. I got through most of it and discovered that I am missing my statement from Vanguard on the pension funds I had to cash in. Fortunately, I was able to save my work. 3:12p – Anne's book arrived today in the mail. 10:25p – I scanned in some pictures from about 1977 in my Navy days and sent them to my old Navy buddy... Brad Oesch. I hope he appreciates my endeavors! 10:27p – I think I will give K-dog a bath tonight. I just took a trip to Q-Mart a bit ago with her. I am a bit tipsy, but I made the excursion anyway. No work tomorrow... or anytime soon... :( <sigh>. 10:34p –I am going to take Kira off to a bath now.... 11:44p – I am off to bed. SUNDAY - January 22, 2006 2:29p – I just got another of those hateful and cruel emails from that "Joe" character in my Guestbook again. I am not going to bother posting his comments and a response this time. It's just feeding his perverse need for attention. I just traced the IP back to... [71-14-64-82.dhcp.stls.mo.charter.com] ...so I know this person is actually located in St. Louis. I can imagine who I could ever have offended so badly as to have them attack me in this fashion. It's very sad to have someone seemly hate me for no good reason. I have always gone almost to extremes to make friends, be polite, do the right thing, and so forth. Obviously this person has some kind of mental problems, a social disorder, or something. Whatever their problem, I don't need to deal with it. I have enough problems without this unfortunate creature annoying me. Y'ilst' ishw' aiy' uun' uuhe ch'aaswe. Y'aav' uut' unweurde fye che sh'umsaanw' aamfre Wash U. Fye che she, enth' uuh' utke ch'iibe? Uuh' osne... Uuh' irske! One odd comment made in the latest nastygram was calling me a "deceitful liar." I can't say that I have never told a lie in my life... I don't know anyone who can, but I am always as truthful as I can be. I hate telling lies. Besides the fact that I would not be able to keep track of them all, lies usually come back to bite you in the end. It's easier, safer and more honorable to tell the truth. 6:22p – I got a lot of backlogged laundry done this evening. Folded and put away dish towels and bath towels; sorted some of Skip's stuff from that got intermingled with mine; put the towels he washed this morning in the dryer; and then put on another load to wash. MONDAY - January 23, 2006 12:15a – I am up late. I burned my chicken for my chicken & rice, but not beyond repair. I have discussed the "Joe" person with several friends and they are all of the opinion that I should notify the authorities. They are probably right. I have pinpointed the origin of the IP address, and I suppose I am obligated to submit this information, but I know how these systems work, and I seriously doubt they can identify the offender. However, it is a good idea to have such matters submitted to the authorities at any rate. 12:45a – I am off to bed now... 11:21a – Still no word from Normandy, and Kelly doesn't have any jobs open at the moment. I guess its back to the job hunting routine again. At least I have all the ID problems resolved and don't have to worry about that issue. Kira is down to only 2 Proin tablets. I need to see about getting her some more, but I am concerned with driving the car that far. And of course, her medicine is not cheap. And my medicine is running out too.

Whale Stranded in River Thames Dies By DAVID STRINGER, Associated Press Writer LONDON - The lost and distressed whale stranded in the River Thames died Saturday as rescue workers ferried it on a rusting salvage barge in an effort to release it in the open sea, an animal rights group said. The 20-foot-long Northern bottlenose whale had been lifted onto a barge by rescuers and was being taken downriver toward the North Sea when it suffered convulsions and died, the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals said. The whale struggled with the effects of being out of the water as it was ferried toward the Thames Estuary, officials said. "It was a brave, valiant, but ultimately tragic effort to get the whale to safety," RSPCA scientific officer Leila Sadler said. Swaddled in blankets on the barge, the marine mammal - watched by thousands in London as it spent two days swimming up the murky river past some of the capital's most famous landmarks - had shown signs of increasing stress and stiffening muscles, an indicator it was in serious difficulty. "The animal suffered a series of convulsions at around 7 p.m. (2 p.m. EST) and died," Sadler said. "It was already dehydrated, hadn't been feeding and then being out of the water would have, in effect, shriveled the animal's internal organs. "It was essential to try to take the whale out to sea on the barge - but there was always the risk this would happen." A crowd of 3,000 people at Albert Bridge in south London had cheered and applauded as the whale was tethered to a sling and lifted by a crane onto the barge Crossness. Rescue crews were heading toward Margate, on the southern English coast, where they hoped to let the whale back out to sea. "There was a real chance that the rescue attempt could have succeeded, but these type of mammals are very prone to the effects of stress and I'm afraid it all became too much," said Tony Woodley, spokesman for the British Divers Marine Life Rescue group, which led the rescue attempt. "It was always going to be a race against time to get it to the ocean, especially with the effect being out of the water has on a whale's body." A veterinarian will conduct a necropsy aboard the salvage vessel to determine the cause of death. "All the crew on the barge are shattered by the death," Woodley said. "They were tired and exhausted but had been determined to do everything they could to get the whale to safety. It really is a terrible shame." Experts had warned earlier that the Northern bottlenose whale, normally found in the cold North Atlantic, may not survive. Witnesses said the mammal's snout was bloodied, and photos appeared to show damage to one of its eyes and a number of cuts on its torso. Earlier, veterinarians and rescuers waded into the river near Albert Bridge to assist the whale, taking medical tests and attaching an inflatable pontoon to the animal as Londoners jammed the riverbanks to watch the drama. Blood samples were being tested at a nearby hospital. The Northern bottlenose whale - the first seen in the river since record keeping started in 1913 - flailed through the Thames on Friday, passing Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament as hundreds of curious onlookers jammed the shoreline. The animal twice tried to beach itself. International and local television networks broadcast the drama live, and police were forced to close a nearby bridge as the number of people watching swelled. The Northern bottlenose whale can reach nearly 30 feet in length - longer than a traditional red double-decker London bus - and weigh nearly 8 tons. The whale was about 40 miles from the mouth of the Thames on the North Sea. The whales are known as curious animals, readily approaching boats and normally traveling in groups, according to the Whale and Dolphin Conservation Society's Web site. When sick, old or injured, whales often get disoriented and swim away from their pod, said Mark Simmonds, the society's science director. Some people reported seeing a second whale in a different section of the river Friday. Last week, marine officials said they saw two bottlenose whales in northeastern Scotland. The mammals are normally seen in northwestern Scotland. That, coupled with the second sighting Friday, could suggest that something is disrupting the whales, Sadler said. Scientists have said fluctuating ocean temperatures, predators, lack of food and even sonar from ships can send whales into waters that are dangerous for the mammals. "It's extremely rare for one to turn up in a river in the United Kingdom," said Tony Martin, a senior scientist with the British Antarctic Survey.

I have insurance to cover it, but it's still over $200 for a 3 month supply. I will know better what to do when I get my taxes done, but I am waiting for one more form to arrive. Hopefully in the mail today.

12:17p – I am so bored and depressed today. I need to get motivated and do something productive.

3:57p – Good news! I got a call a little while ago from "Bonnie" with a job interview for a Help Desk position! I have an appointment set for Thursday at 1:00p. I could have made it sooner, but I wanted to wait and see if NSD calls me back or if they've forgotten about us. This job pays less, but its better than no pay at all! This being out of work is wearing me out. I sure would be nice to be in a comfortable "rut" again.

4:01p – I am in the middle of watching the BBC production of "The Chronicles of Narnia - The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe." It's kind of low budget and has that "video" or "soap opera" look to it. Skip recently bought the book, and I think the movie came out last month. I didn't see it yet. I also rented "The Polar Express." I wanted some light cheery movies. I also considered renting "The Cat in the Hat" with Mike Meyers. They're all a little on the juvenile side, but sometimes that's what I am in the mood for.

4:39p – Time to go Skip up from the train station shortly. This movie is putting me to sleep!

6:47p – Sheesh! I am STILL watching this Narnia movie. It sure is long.

8:23p – I finished the Narnia movie about an hour ago. It was long, cheesy, low budget... but I kind of liked it.

10:40p – I just changed the sheets on my bed. I also cooked supper. Another "Supper Bakes" dish. This one was chicken and cheesy pasta, or some such.

10:42p – So ... I just started the Polar Express movie. So far, not too interesting. Good graphics though. So... back to my movie.

11:02p – Never mind. I went back to the living room to continue my supper and movie, and Skip had taken my DVD out and put his movie in. Kind of inconsiderate. Especially since he is just now going to bed. So he watched 15 minutes (at most) of his movie and went to bed. Oh... and he left the lights on. Jeez... he is so self centered and inconsiderate. I will have to go check the locks, the lights, and clean up after him again. This does get old. And I just took the trash out (since it did not get taken out last week and is overflowing).

TUESDAY - January 24, 2006

1:58p – I got a response from EJ this morning. He is still in the dark as to what is going on with our jobs too. Fred called and we discussed the matter. I responded to EJ and let him know I am going on a job interview, so they need to make up their minds. I can't sit around and wait. I need a positive cash flow, and I need it now.

1:59p – Meanwhile, this morning... err, afternoon I should say, I am watching "The Polar Express." Great animation, but kind of boring.

2:52p – I am through with The Polar Express. It was not all that good; a bit disappointing. I am going to watch something from our tape library now. "Multiplicity." I've seen it, but maybe it will amuse me.

3:45p – I am really getting bored. I am thinking I probably should have gone ahead and set the appointment for today at 1:00p instead of Thursday.

4:21p – Another day has nearly passed. It has been sunny today, but extremely windy. It's almost time to pick Skip up from the train. I think I will vacuum the living room first. That new rug we bought needs a lot of attention since it is such a light color.

4:38p – The floor is vacuumed and I am dressed and ready to go. I think I will leave early and drop my movies off at Block Buster on the way out.

WEDNESDAY - January 25, 2006

1:50a – Uutaitne, Ricky emk' oyerve. Iih' aantwedj' uut og' aoche. Iiborf' iiw' entw' aoche, iih' emke ny' uut' aim' uumbre aanje aadh' iim' uks' imh' aafye! OMG!...Ch'aasw' erveiir' utge! Iih' aadh' iitsw' umke. Izth' aasw' iith' irstf' aimt' orf' iime nye 'yoatbe.... 6 irzhe! Nynewe... enth' iiw' intw' aoch' uut' ey' upkulp' aavy' arzb' aanj' aadh' ey' upkulp' aavy' irzbe. Y'aadh' ey' utg' aimte!

2:00a – Time for bed for me now!

4:19a – I just had one of my worst ever cases of acid reflux. I was sound asleep and woke up gagging. I ended up puking my guts out. I thought my toes were going to come up. Oh boy... that was quite unpleasant. I feel better now though.

The computer was not on line this morning. I checked the connections, cables, rebooted the server and the modem. I finally found the problem. The uplink button on the hub had been pressed in. Probably by Chooga who crawls around under my desk all the time. I even had to call technical support, but they were not very helpful.

3:29p – Another day has fizzled past with no word from NSD. I look forward to getting out of the house tomorrow for the job interview. I am so sitting of sitting around here accomplishing nothing.

5:57p – Skip is home and the evening is following the usual patter. I have been sorting out CD's and DVD's for the last 2 days. I found a CD full of Amerind graphics for RD and am sending them to her, a little bit at a time.

11:20p – I am off to bed now. I made beef stroganoff for supper. It was not too bad. I am all ready for the interview tomorrow! I just hope the darn car is as ready as I am...

THURSDAY - January 26, 2006

9:00a – My night was typically fitful, getting up two or three times to let Kira out. I was dehydrated too, and kept waking up with my mouth and throat parched. When I did sleep, never more than an hour straight, I had another night of bizarre dreams. In one of the most bizarre of the dreams, I was "Phoebe" (Lisa Kudrow?) from the series "Friends". I was on my hands and knees following a trail of bell pepper halves, mushing up the insides of peppers and eating it. (I think this had something to do with my dry mouth). What a weird dream that was!

Meanwhile, back in England, RD has been going through her own adventure with tiling her kitchen. She has kept me informed in a running commentary which got up to read first thing this morning. With no offense to her industriousness and hard work, I was tickled by her recounting of the experience. It could be a comedy routine for a sitcom...

2:52:01 AM: Hi. 8:55a and I'm taking a well earned break! hit a few snags straight away with the kitchen floor. I knew that I wouldn't be able to lift the old ones and lay a new floor as it's an old, council house and the concrete underneath is crap! So it was always going to be a case of laying new over old...not the way i want to do it but have no choice. That's not the snag though. Having emptied the kitchen of as much stuff as possible the snag is - I cant move the washing machine.. its under the worktop [tight] and weighs a tonne!] AND..... what about the cooker? It's gas! No way am I about to start disconnecting gas supplies and pipe work to the cooker... probably blow myself up in the process....and I cant afford to get a registered gas installer out.....so I am sat with cup of tea and 2:52:07 AM: Ciggie pondering the next step! 2:55:03 AM: It is looking like a case of having to tile ROUND the appliances that I cant move NOT the way to do it and the perfectionist side of me is kicking in and saying YUKK!!! and GRRR!!!! ah well, time to go and see...all I can do is the best I can do - but it wont be good enough for me I know it! GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR INTERVIEW AND DRIVE CAREFULLY! 4:15:54 AM: 10:17 Waiting for tiling icky sticky stuff to set a little.. can't use bathroom or kitchen.... ICK horrible sticky mess! 4:31:19 AM: Great! forgot to lock the cat flap....Twinkle just came in...right through the tiling glue! Now I have adhesive across the living room carpet [that doesn't come out] and all over the cat! Just locked her up her as I have floorboards in my room... once I am done I am going to have to bath the cat and scrub her feet...oh boy she's going to love me NOT! Why did I ever start this! 6:49:56 AM: DONE! made good time. Kitchen and bathroom all tiled. Waiting for them to bed a little before putting stuff back.... not the best job in the world but it's clean, tidy, a very pale flecked grey instead of the horrid green and will do for now.... will have too, not going through that again for a few years...still, will be easier next time I have to!

And here is a sample of RD's hard work!

9:19a – I hope she took pictures. I want to see the final result!

My daily weather report just came in on the phone. A high of 49° today. Yesterday was 44°. I need to eat a bite and start preparing for my trip to Hazelwood for the job interview here shortly. I hope the car doesn't give me problems with those leaky seals. It's a disaster waiting to happen.

10:41a – I finished off my my Menudo de Pollo that I made yesterday. And I have printed out a map to get to the interview. It is 22.1 miles. I also got a freshly printed and updated resume and references list with me. Time now to get in the shower, get dressed and ready to leave by noon.

6:06p – Home at last! What a day. I left promptly at noon, but then had to pull back into the driveway and run back in for my glasses. I had my printout to "Village Square" in hand and followed the directions perfectly. I arrived at the destination with a good 20 minutes to spare... but I was in a residential area! I looked over the directions again and discovered that Yahoo had sent me to Village DRIVE ... not Village SQUARE! I called the company up and asked for directions, but they did not know the way either and advised me to find a filling station and inquire. I actually did this and happened upon a customer who knew the area and sent me in the right direction. But, I ended up headed down I-170 East ... and I just knew I was going the wrong way. I called the company again and told them where I was. This time I got someone on the phone who knew the area. However, they gave me long complicated directions and I was trying to drive and memorize it all (and not crash). I managed to get turned around. I took another wrong turn, but at the last moment, I saw the name of the company on the side of a building! Triumph! Well... not quite. I was still going the wrong way and could not figure out how to get turned BACK around. I finally managed, and found my way to the building. I walked in the door at 1:27p for my 1:00p appointment, but they were cool about it. Their time schedule was flexible.

First they had me fill out (yet another) application, then I took their "technical test." This proved to be very simple and I only missed three questions. From there, they had me take their "customer support" test. This was done wearing a headset and interfacing with a computer. I've never taken a test quite like that before, so I was not sure how I was doing. Passing score was a 58% and I made 71%. I was not pleased with that score, but it was still a passing score. Finally, the interviewer sat down with me and gave me various scenarios and asked me to relate comparable experiences I have had in my past employment. Half way through the interview she said, "You have excellent interviewing skills. I am not going to bother with the rest of this test." That made me feel better about the 71% score I was not pleased with.

So, all of this went well until the very end. This is when I found out they DO want to hire me and I am listed as a "pending hire," ... BUT ... they are not hiring until March! I need work now. Oh well, at least I have something lined up for March if nothing else comes along.

Then it was time to head home. I had a terrible time finding my way. The directions I got were fairly simple, but it turns out I was told to take I-170 North and I could not get there. So I took I-170 South and decide I would turn around. That's when I discovered that my instructions were wrong. I finally made it to 70 East and then I knew where I was. By this time it was nearly 5:00p. I called Skip and his bus had not run yet, so I stopped and picked him up from 5th&Mo at about 5:15p.

We ran back by the house, let Kira out and picked up Skip's late movie, zipped over to Block Buster, then back by Q-Mart, and mercifully home to a cold beer!

9:07p – I've been catching up email all evening. It looks like we will be having chicken for supper again tonight. It's thawing now. I will be cooking I suppose. Amazingly, I am not all that hungry at the moment, yet all I have eaten is a bowl of leftover soup this morning (about 11 hours ago).

1:28a – Letting Kira out.

3:30a – Let Kira out again. I've been having some wild "roller coaster" dreams!

FRIDAY - January 27, 2006

I have been somewhat depressed today. The job situation is really getting to me. I tried to get motivated and submit more resumes today but I just could not focus. I decided to skip my medications today to try to stretch them out longer. Except for the blood pressure pill. I only have about 10 days left and I can't afford to buy more. Even with my insurance still intact, I will still have a co-payment of $220 and I just can't manage it. I am starting to think I may have to go the disability route after all. I really hate that idea, but I am running out of options.

I called Vanguard today to see what's up with my 1099-R tax form. I got a recording immediately that said the forms were going on on or before the 28th. That's good. I should get it early next week and then I can finish my taxes

SATURDAY - January 28, 2006

11:20a – Kira got me up several times during the night, as usual, but I still managed to sleep fairly well. Probably because I didn't take my meds. I had a dream last night that my job with NSD was confirmed. I remember feeling so relieved in the dream. When I woke up and reality reasserted itself, it was a real let down.

11:24a – Skip wants to go to McDonald's for breakfast. I don't want to spend any money, but he said he will pay. Personally, some eggs with leftover meatloaf from last night sounds good to me, but... oh well...

I ended up just fixing some left over meat loaf. It was too good to ignore. We sat and watched the new Nicholas Cage movie, "Lord of War". It was okay. A bit depressing though.

3:18p – I finally got my email caught up and am going to take a shower and then head over to Wal-Mart. Skip mentioned needing to go to Schnuck's too, so it will probably be a 3 store hop.

6:01p – It turned into a 5-store hop. Wal-mart, Schnuck's, Block Buster, Shop & Save and Q-Mart. All while driving in the rain. And it must be a monthly payday for people because it was crazy out there with shoppers! So tonight I spent my $10 gift certificate at Shop & Save. I bought a couple of chuck roasts for just under $10.

11:16p – Marty & JR just came over to pick up the cans. We had an overflowing barrel for them. Marty is sitting out in his El Camino waiting for JR now. I just turned up the oven and am getting ready to cook the pork chops for supper. The mashed potatoes & gravy are already don. I still need to steam the green beans and make the cheese sauce. I know... it's really late to be doing this! But... it is not a work night (for Skip, that is. I don't have a work night... ).

11:49p – Marty & JR just left. Skip has enticed them into watching "Fight Club" ... but not telling them anything about it. That is a deep movie. It requires some explanation if you are only going to see a few minutes of it.

SUNDAY - January 29, 2006

12:01p – Anyway, supper should be just about done. Pork chops smothered in battered onions rings, fresh green beans in cheese sauce, mashed potatoes and gravy. It should be good. Late... but good.

12:27p – Ugh.... supper was great! I am off to bed now.

Kira kept waking me up a lot during the night, and nature got me up twice on my own, so I did not sleep very well. I got up fairly early this morning any though, but lay back down and watched TV in bed for an hour or two. Skip was up putting on a pot of coffee when I got up. He has been in his room playing games on the computer literally all day long. He should have been out working on the fence. I am starting to think I am going to have to go out and start doing it myself. I may screw it up, but at least something will get done. I am so tired of his starting projects and not finishing them. Usually it does not affect me, but this time I have invested $2000 in building this fence, and no progress is being made. Kira wanders out of the yard and I am afraid she is going to come to harm. It's very annoying.

I fixed leftovers from supper for brunch. Those oven baked breaded pork chops were fantastic.

I got productive later in the day finally. I have been bored and unmotivated most of the day, but once I got moving, I got some things done. I started my computer performing a CHKDSK for one thing. While that ran, I cleaned the toilet, emptied all the garbage cans, did the dishes and clean the stove and cabinets.

6:53p – I just got back from the store about 40 minutes ago. I took Kira with me. She was all excited to get to go out for a ride again. She is getting so stiff from arthritis though, and she tries to bounce around with enthusiasm, but her legs are to stiff to get much bounce. It's almost comical in a sad way. It rends my heart to see her getting so old so fast. T'be, twe sh'ogeingy' uut' iibe, sh'ogeingy' uut' iibe. Y'aantk' uude nyeiningthe yaotbe che.

9:11p – Kira is not getting her medicine now. I just cant' afford to buy it. I did not pay my car payment this weekend either, but I can manage it tomorrow I think. My medicine runs out in a few days too, and I can afford more. I don't know what I will do. Without it I suppose I will die, eventually. Of course, we all die eventually, but I don't want it to be any sooner than necessary. Che aasd' irsk' iim' ey' aatle.  Y'ontd' on' aant' aiy' aalsh' uude. I guess I will get through it somehow. I have have dealt with this for 20 years now and am still surviving when all those around me have died. I must admit, I have some bitterness toward the City of Orlando who tossed me out like trash after 15 years of loyal service; and Wash. U., who stabbed me in the back after 5 years.

It hurts, and it is wrong, but injustice is a fact of life. I will persevere as long as I can. It is ironic that we think we live in a "civilized" time, but in reality, we are still vicious creatures bent upon their own survival, pummeling the injured, the sick, or the weak into their wake. It is a sad state of affairs, but nothing new. Most people with my medical issues died within 3 to 5 years of incurring their condition. I should count myself lucky to have made it 20 years! Even the doctors are amazed. Yay me <sigh>. Well... I am not dead yet. I will keep on "surviving" ... as long as I can. It's getting harder, but I suspect I have not SEEN the bad times yet! (That's a scary thought).

9:47p – As for NOW... supper is in progress. I have a chuck roast cooking and just put on a pot of rice using the last of my homemade chicken broth. I am going to make some fried okra to go with it. Skip has been very good about not pushing his recently "favorite" food. Maybe he is starting to wean off of it!

9:56p – Great... Skip is now complaining about how long it is taking to make supper, and he wants gravy... and ... gawd... I guess I better "git t'slavin o'er the stove..."

10:11p – It's going well. Kira is sitting on the patio enjoying the cool, but relatively nice weather.

10:43p – I have finished cooking supper. The natives are whooping outside my window now. I don't want to know... Skip and I have just been arguing about the history of hanging and executions in the US. What an odd point to argue about. Ick... kind of too weird, eh?

11:08p – Whatever tomorrow holds in store, I am off to bed and ready to deal with it...

MONDAY - January 30, 2006

1:33a – Kira got me up (as usual) to go out, and I turned on the TV for light. An episode of "The Outer Limits" was on. I got caught up in it and had to watch the rest.

2:10a – Some movie called "Webs" about some spider people from another dimension is on. TV is going off and I am going BACK to sleep! LOL... that's enough sci-fi for me in one night...err.. pre-dawn morning....

3:05a – I was sleeping, just barely, and (you guessed it) Kira needed to go out again. I can expect this to become even more of a problem since I can't afford her medicine any longer. At least she is not wetting herself like she did before she started taking the medicine 2 years ago. Yet.

6:26a – I hear Skip getting ready for work. I have been awake most of the night, barely sleeping. Again.

9:46a – My website and email are down for some reason this morning.

12:05p – Jack got the email back up & running... way to go Jack!

12:06p – I got Bill R's Yuletide card back in the mail again. It's waiting for the mailman now. Boy is it late. I got his address wrong and it was returned, but I am determined to get it to him. It has become an issue to me now.

12:07p – I contacted the SSA and my application for SSDI is underway again. I hate it, but I am running out of options.

12:08p – I hope the mail runs soon. I am anxious to see if my 1099-R has arrived so I can finish doing my taxes.

12:30p – I just had to get Kira from someone else's yard again. This time I had to get serious with her and used a dry twig to chase her into the house. I couldn't really hit her with it since it was so dry and rotten it would snap, but I let it touch her a few times so she thought she was really about to get it. However, it upset me probably more than it did her. I am so worried about her getting poisons, attacked, run over or something. Skip really needs to get serious about finishing his fence project. It's getting ridiculous.

6:19p – I spent the afternoon working on my taxes. That was frustrating and depressing. This has been just a sucky day all 'round.

11:53p – Ricky ustj' emk' uut' izvietse. Iih' ort' iim' ey' uun' aanwe!

TUESDAY - January 31, 2006

10:23a – My dreams were chaotic mess all night.

11:03a – Wow! Great news. Convergys just called and the want me to start work immediately! I go in at 3:00p and begin training. The hours will be from 3:30p to 11:00p ... which is going to be weird for me. I guess this is second shift. I've never worked second shift before. I will adapt. I had to cancel my appointment with Terri at 1:pm today and reschedule for tomorrow at 9:00a. That should work out okay. Now... I just hope I can find my way back to Convergys easier than I did last time!

12:19p – I have eaten, and have some clothes in the dryer dewrinkling. I also go a better map to to to correct location. Yahoo still insists on change "Square" to "Drive" for this address and sends me to the wrong location. MapQuest gets it right fortunately.

12:26p – I plan on leaving at about 2:00p, so I still have about an hour and a half.

11:52p – I just got in, but my works not done. Feed Kira and Chooga, clean the cat box, take out the garbage, light the oil burners and of course, change clothes. And thus ends January of 2006 on a very positive note.