June 2008

SUNDAY - JUNE 1, 2008
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Unadodaquasgv – Dehaluyi Saquu
ᎤᎾᏙᏓᏆᏍᎬ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᏌᏊ

1:55a – The new month begins. How fast times flies. I have to get this page updated.

I felt so awful when I got up this morning, but I went straight to the shower, trying to get motivated. Sometimes I feel bad when I first get up (well... like, always), but I perk up after a shower and some hot tea. This morning I just felt worse. I called in late. I then went to lay back down and over slept. I started to call in sick, in fact, but Skip got on my case and made me feel bad about not being able to pay bills, so I went to work. I thought I was going to pass out walking to the car though. Then I was worried I would pass out and run off the road. I got to work and made my way to my usual seat in a daze, sort of crashing into people as I went. My chest has felt tight and I keep feeling pain around my heart. It's really scaring me, but I don't know what I can do. The insurance I have sucks. Life basically sucks these days. I am just tired and tired of being tired. I can't afford to go any where or do anything. I stay depressed and feel helpless and hopeless. And my hip always hurts, and snaps, and pops. I know, I am not the first human to grow old and feel the aches and pain of age. But this time it's me. I'm going to be bitchy about and that's all there is to it! lol.

MONDAY - JUNE 2, 2008
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Unadodaquonvhi – Dehaluyi Tali
ᎤᎾᏙᏓᏉᏅᎯ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᏔᎵ

3:33a – I have some rice cooking to go with some of the leftover food Skip left for me. I need to get to bed soon and get as much rest as I can. I have felt bad all day.

4:16a – I am a little behind schedule, but not too bad. I am off to bed. I hope I feel better tomorrow.

11:45a – I just got up. Strange dreams. Jack was in one dream. He was moving and trying to carry all of his belongings. He had to catch a bus, and I was about to get on the same bus. However, he was about a block away and was trying to rush, pulling a big trunk on wheels behind him. He stumbled and fell. I spoke to the bus driver and said something about that being my best friend and to be sure to wait for him. The driver knew me and had no problem with waiting. It was not time for him to pull out anyway. Jack made it to the bus, and know he was carrying his cat. It was orange and black and sitting in a basket. I held out my hands as if to relieve him of the burden so he could go back and retrieve the remainder of his belongings. However, he just brushed past me as though he had no clue who I was. More of the dream followed but I can't remember it, except that Jack had more pets. At lest he had one other pet. I small rodent. Very tiny. I am not sure what it was (maybe a shrew?). It was running loose in the place we were staying (and I don't remember what happened between the bus and being in this place). There was another animal (Kira maybe?) which was going to eat the little shrew-like creature, so I scooped it up to protect it. However, it did not know me and tried to bite me. It was so small, it's tiny little teeth did not hurt me, but it furiously continued to try. I tried to soothe it and calm the creature down by petting it. I started to scratch its back and I think it started to giggle. The dream blurs and I am the one who has moved and I living in a big house with other people, most of whom I do not know. I am trying to set up an old TV (from my belongings). It has been sitting in a cabinet and has mildew & mold on it. The screen is broken, but I think it still may work. I lug it upstairs to work on it. One of my new "roommates" (or whoever) is talking and shows someone a gift he just received from someone. It is a dime with a hidden spring-door in the center. He is wearing it like a ring though. I have a quarter just like this and start look for it. My dresser is in this room and my jewelry box. I am searching and searching through tidbits of junk, but I don't find it. Meanwhile, in the same room someone has a radio playing and the song that comes on is "Nights in White Satin" by the Moody Blues. After the first verse, another singer joins in and sings the same verse again, but ... in Lakota! This is where I woke up and looked at my clock. It was 11:37a ... and I wanted to be up at 11:00a.

12:01p – An earlier dream during the night had me riding a bicycle up this road. It was night time and there were fires everywhere. I went by some large wooden (telephone?) poles and they were glowing red and burning. I knew my destination. I was headed toward the location of our spaceship. Earth was in it's final days, and we were escaping to space, or another planet. That's about all I can remember of that dream.

12:04a – Time is short. I need to make something to eat, check the garden, shower & shave, and get to work. Monday's can be bad, but at least a certain slave driver is not there.

TUESDAY - JUNE 3, 2008
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Taline-iga – Dehaluyi Tsoi
ᏔᎵᏁ-ᎢᎦ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᏦᎢ

My old high school buddy wrote me and told me of a dream he had. Usually, I am writing about my dreams and the strange things that happen in them. This is a new twist as it is I who am in someone else's dream...

11:58a – I slept fairly soundly last night. I woke about 3 times for a trip to the bathroom, but fell right back to sleep when I got in bed. That's not like me, but I wish it would happen more often. I actually slept later than intended, waking at 11:28a. However, I dragged my sleepy butt to the kitchen and put on some soup for first meal, took a shower and here it is, just turn 12:00p and I am nearly ready for work. Coming up on day 4 of 4, at last.

The satellite is out. I did not pay the bill. I thought I had paid all the bills right after getting the $600 government check, but apparently I missed the DishTV bill. I owe $141 on that and there is no way I can pay that right now. I am practically broke.

I had a bit of a scare driving home tonight. First, there was some debris in the road. I came up on it suddenly and had no place to go, so I just clench my teeth and gripped the wheel and flew through it with white knuckles on the steering wheel. Fortunately it was all flat stuff and I just flew over it with no ill effect. I had barely relaxed after that when I flew around a curve and saw a wood pallet in my lane. There was a vehicle in the right lane and a concrete wall to my left.

I thought I might be able to squeeze between the palette and the wall, but despite coming mere inches from the wall, I still hit the pallet. The CD player got knocked off track, but nothing worse seemed to result.

WEDNESDAY - JUNE 4, 2008
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Tsoine-iga – Dehaluyi Nvgi
ᏦᎢᏁ-ᎢᎦ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᏅᎩ

I did not get to bed until nearly 6:00a and then I got up around 11:00a, so I only got about 5 hours sleep. The TV is still out of course, and may be for a while, so I guess I am not going to see all my episodes of "Charmed." Maybe I will get them on Block Buster.

I check the garden. No major damage, though my eldest white-eagle corn has suffered some pest damage, but is surviving. My tobacco in the ground is doing good, and the cucumber is also doing well. My poppies & fennel are coming along. Skip's corn is really starting to shoot up. My sunflowers are struggling. I have a few gourd seeds sprouting, but they got pretty soaked in yet another storm last night. Skip's hop plant is really growing fast, and the Mulberry tree has lots of berries on it. I ate a few of them today.

I got the cans bagged up and taken out. I fixed some pork and tomato soup for lunch. I got my "La Ruĝaj kaj Verdaj Kankroj" website updated, correcting the STUPID error of using the word "kranko" (meaning "crank") when I meant to say "kankro" (for "crayfish"). I redesigned the graphic, and created the Cherokee script in both modern and ancient Cherokee. I used some innovative techniques to accomplish this and got it done in an amazingly short time.

I watched the most recent Rambo movie today. It was violent, bloody, graphic, intense, ... yet introspective, moody, and thoughtful. I liked it. Not recommended for mealtime viewing, however.

5:27p – Just got home from picking up Skip from the Shop 'n Save. We discussed the DishTV situation and he does not want to turn it back on. If we turn it back on, then I have to pay for it myself. So ... I guess we don't have TV now. I will have to call and cancel service. That will be one more bill off my back anyway.

9:10p – I have spent the last half hour or so scheduling 8 seasons of "Charmed" on DVD. I also chose "The Day the Earth Stood Still" ... and old favorite of mine. Then I found "My Favorite Martian" and ordered that too.

Meanwhile, Skip was in the backyard and, for a change, he is not wanting to chop down the mulberry tree(s). He wants to collect the mulberries and make a brew out of them. I say, "go for it!" It is good to make use of nature's bounty. I know the birds want to eat too, but I've been feeding them for years, ... maybe they owe me! lol!

THURSDAY - JUNE 5, 2008
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Nvgine-iga – Dehaluyi Hisgi
ᏅᎩᏁ-ᎢᎦ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᎯᏍᎩ

I checked all the garden factors this morning and all looks well. The squirrels seem to be giving us a wide berth here lately. I think the "catch and release" program my have merit!

5:51p – I have spent the entire day trying to get the internet to work on my computer. I am getting a 169 IP address. I picked Skip up at Schnuck's earlier. When we got home, he checked him computer and is not getting on line either. The main service is connection however. So that rules out my NIC card. I've now swapped out the hub with my smaller 3-port hub, but that's not working either. Now I am trying to establish a direct connection via the modem, but I can't remember my user ID and password... and the server is now hung up. This is not going well.

9:54p – I was planning on getting some things done today, including mowing the lawn. But this stupid problem with our internet connection has consumed my day. Now I cannot even seem to get the server on line. Nothing is connecting. I've called HTC, but at that time I was actually getting on line and getting a good IP address. On the server that is... not mine and Skip's computers.

11:44p – I am "temporarily" on line. I have connected my computer directly to the modem and created a direct PPPoE DSL connection. Meanwhile, I nearly ruined my supper by scorching a pot of pork. I rescued it, and scrubbed all the char from the pot. Hopefully it will just give a bit of flavor to the dish. Whatever that dish shall be. I have made a pot of rice and will try to be more creative from this point.

FRIDAY - JUNE 6, 2008
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Tsunagilosdi – Dehaluyi Sudali
ᏧᎾᎩᎶᏍᏗ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᏑᏓᎵ

Typical day at work. Nothing of interest to comment on. Michelle graciously allow me to stay in Floor Support all day (so I gave her all my collected soda pop caps. I got Amanda K's email address and added her to my mailing list. Of course, we are still having a problems with getting online through the server.

I came home and watched the remain of "Hogfather." This is from Terry Pratchet's "Disc World" stories. I've never read any of the stories, though I did briefly meet Terry Pratchet at OmniCon in Tampa, Florida, back in 1995. Skip was with me then. He literally ran in him about three times. Rather, Terry ran into Skip twice and Skip ran into Terry once. (They both need to watch where they're going! lol!).

The great Atuin who carries four elephants upon his back, who in turn support the Disc World....

I wanted to get to bed early, but I found myself out in the garden at daybreak, with hoe in hand, trying to do a little cultivation. I went to bed about 6:00a. Skip was already up for the day.

SATURDAY - JUNE 7, 2008
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Unadodaquidena – Dehaluyi Galiquogi
ᎤᎾᏙᏓᏈᏕᎾ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᎦᎵᏉᎩ

I left my home of 12 years in Deltona, Florida,
and moved to St. Louis to begin a new life on this date in 2000

I got up around noon, only about 6 hours sleep. One of the first things I heard before getting out of bed (I had the radio on) was Hillary's concession speech. I was happy to hear she fully endorsed ObamaThe computers are still not connect properly, but we can connect one at a time. This is just not acceptable!

8:25p – It has been a fairly busy day, if short. I fixed a pot of Earl Grey this morning and sat with Skip watching the beginning of the "National Treasure II" movie (with Nicholas Cage). I did not eat last night so I was getting quite hungry. We paused the movie, I took a shower and we headed out to find a new place here in Cahokia called "The Sawmill." A barbeque restaurant. It's just a few minutes down the road from us at the Cahokia RV trailer park. We found their prices to be just a bit too high, but we like the place. The decor was fascinating, and I took a lot of pictures. They tore down a 200 year old barn and built the restaurant in it's place. The decor of the restaurant includes a plethora of antiques saws, ice picks, corn planters, milk cans, and many old signs. There was also an outdoor picnic area and a children's playground with a HUGE swing set, and antique horsey rides, and even monkey bars.

Overall, it was a pleasant experience. It's good to see Cahokia produce a nice, clean, non-ghetto establishment for a change. Oh... I had a pulled-pork sandwich with fries and coleslaw on the side, and sweetened iced tea. Skip had the large beef sandwich with baked beans and onion rings. I was very happy to see they had good old southern style sweetened ice tea. That is so rare to find in this part of the country! It reminded me of "Sonny's Barbeque" back in Florida. Which in turn, sadly, reminded me of the last time I saw Doug in early March, 1996, when Nikki and I took him out to dinner and Sonny's.

Anyway, we left Sawmills, and went back up the road to our little Wal-Mart. I made a couple of small purchases, we looked at some possible plants for the garden (but bought none). Then we headed off to get our hair cut. The "Paradise Cuts" salon was SO busy! We had nine people ahead of us, and a long wait. I left my camera in the car, but after a bit, I decided to go get it because I did not want to leave it in the heat very long. I came back into the salon and took some pictures of fish in the aquarium. They did not come out so good. Oh well. Then the rubber grip from my camera just FELL off! I was mortified, of course. My camera is like my child. I ran next door to the Family Dollar and got some glue (...and a pack of 3 pens). I have tried twice to glue it back on, but the glue only sticks to the old glue on the camera, and completely ignores sticking to the back of the fallen grip.

So, we got our hair cut and ran by Q-Mart. I waited in the car and there was some girl going from car to car asking people to give her a ride. I politely declined, though I felt bad about it. But, she could have been carrying a gun and planning to rob me. You just never know these days. There was a time when I would not have hesitated to help a woman in distress, but today's world is ... sad.

My "tail"is getting quite long. I need to fix the blotched hair coloring though.

We got home and watched the remainder of the National Treasure movie. Then I got industrious and went out to mow the front lawn. I took a saw with me and pruned back some of the limbs on the Maple tree in the front yard, then I mowed. I was pooped and panting when done of course. I came in and took a cool shower.

9:40p – We are now planning on grilling some meat. Skip has the grill going and we have both thawed out some meat. I got a couple of chicken leg quarters, two "fake" fillet mignons, and a beef steak. He has a similar collection.

Beef steak (which I cut myself), and "fake" fillet mignon (left); Chicken leg quarters (right)...

We won't eat it all tonight of course, but we will have some grilled meat for the next 2-3 days.

Now I cannot get my computer to connect directly to the modem. I am getting SO frustrated! I think it's time to quit HTC and move to Charter.

SUNDAY - JUNE 8, 2008
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Unadodaquasgv – Dehaluyi Tsunela
ᎤᎾᏙᏓᏆᏍᎬ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᏧᏁᎳ

10:52a – I am up sort of early. I am planning on going to the Pagan Picnic in Tower Grove Park today, but Skip wants me to take him to Fairview Heights ... in the opposite direction. That will be a lot of wear on my bad axle and of course, gas is over $4 per gallon now.

I had a scary dream last night. I was in bed when a small aircraft crash landed behind the house. I got up and looked out my bedroom window and saw he plane, busted in half. There appeared to be someone in it, possibly injured. Then two people came into the room; a male and female. The male may have been Ronnie T. from work, I am not sure, but he was wearing a bright red shirt. One of them told me to duck down so as not to attract attention. (Somehow I knew, without being told, that "enemy forces" had shot the plane down, and they might be investigating the crash). I lay back down on the bed and started to speak to the two people in my room, but suddenly the back door flew open and a dark skinned man in a green military uniform burst in. (Probably Burmese, since I just watched Rambo a couple of days ago). I was sure the man was likely to simply shoot us with no provocation. It was terrifying and all I could do was close my eyes and brace myself. I lay like that for a moment, thinking, "This has to be a dream!" But it was more "hope" than "conviction." I waited, and nothing happened, so I tentatively opened my eyes. After moment's confusion, I realized it really HAD been a dream. My heart was still pounding, but I felt so relieved. (Anyway, I do not have a back door in my bedroom...).

6:40p – We made it to Fairview Height where Skip bought his BB gun and then over to the Pagan Picnic.

I ran into George (of the former couple of 'Jasmine and George') and greeted him. I mentioned hoping to see Merl at the event, and (pointing behind himself) ... THERE was Merl! It was nice to meet a 'fellow pagan' at this event. There were a lot of "weirdos" there, though I don't want to put down their beliefs. They just seemed to be a bit eccentric. Like one guy who seemed to be dressed up as a skeleton. Whatever... lol...

We stopped at Pho Grand for a nice lunch. I had the Mi Xao Mem Do Bien" (Soft egg noodles sautéed with shrimp, scallop, squid, crabmeat and fresh vegetables). Very tasty and enjoyable. Then on to Q-Mart and home. I finished watching "The Golden Compass."

I got some more plants in the ground, including my 2 tobacco plants, a cucumber, and my one little Mung bean.

This tobacco plant went into the ground today. I hope it grows well and strong!

More late with pictures if I can. I just got back from Wal-Mart. I bought a NIC card for my computer. I hope this fixes the problems, but I am doubtful.

11:02p – I am on line again ... for the nonce. The NIC card was a waste of money, as expected. I am back online with my onboard NIC ... with not problem. So, I will take the card back to Wal-Mart and I bet they will not accept the return.

11:15p – I have a pot of collards cooking, and just put on a pot of rice. I have grilled chicken and steak to mix with the rice.

Here is my new choker I splurged on today. It was $10 ... with a 20% discount... so only $8.00.

It's good to be back on line! I am still cooking. I need to switch to Monday mode now though.

MONDAY - JUNE 9, 2008
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Unadodaquonvhi – Dehaluyi Sonela
ᎤᎾᏙᏓᏉᏅᎯ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᏐᏁᎳ

1:07a – I was watching the "Van Helsing" movie. Supper was very filling and fulfilling. I put it all away now, and am off to bed.

11:33a – My dreams last night including a rather long dream in which I was trying to infiltrate some kind of cult by going undercover as one of their members. I attended an "introductory" session to learn about the beliefs of the cult. They served iced tea which we all sipped while listening to the presentation. Moments later, I realized the tea had been drugged and this was part of the method they used to begin brain washing new members. The rest of the dream is a confused mess since I was "drugged" throughout most of it. It seemed to go on for sometime, but I can't remember what happened.

I was about 15 minutes late getting in to work. I went right into floor support and was in all day. It was pretty rough. We have a lot of new and very green agents. I was running 5 deep much of the time. My brain was hurting!

TUESDAY - JUNE 10, 2008
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Taline-iga – Dehaluyi Sgohi
ᏔᎵᏁ-ᎢᎦ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᏍᎪᎯ

3:27a – I got out a bit late from work. One chat ran over a bit. Then after clocking out, I had to stay to see how a supervisor call with Kelly S. worked out. She is new, but very intelligent, technically adept, and good with the customers, but she got a bad call, and the sup made it worse for her.

I finished watching Van Helsing. Amazingly, I did not seem to remember hardly any of it.

I have some marinated pork simmering on the stove and some rice noodles soaking. I am going to try a different sort of Asian style, pork & noodle dish.

12:53p – I got up a little before noon. I was having confusing and exhausting dreams. There was another name mentioned in my dreams tonight... "Steve Chase." It seems like I should know that name, but I can't place it.

WEDNESDAY - JUNE 11, 2008
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Tsoine-iga – Dehaluyi Sadu
ᏦᎢᏁ-ᎢᎦ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᏌᏚ

2:47a – I just finished re-watching "Shark Tale." Great animation and cute movie. I also just realized that I forgot to pay my registration fee for ani-kutani.com! My site is "parked" ... but I have paid it, so hopefully it will be back on line in a few hours.

5:22a – I MUST go to bed now. y'Ib' unkdre. y'Av' Ad' ey' Atl' Avy' irbe! y'Av' Ut' og' Ut' edb' Ane, Anje t'ge ums' Ipsle!

11:37a – I am up again after only about 6 hours sleep. Making tea. Thinking of going back to bed, but... I will just lay there, awake. So, I may as well get up and try to enjoy a day off.

7:27p – I have not done much today, but let me see. I watered the garden and various plants. Looks like a bird molested a couple of Skip corn plants; only 2 possible fatalities I think. Still have not seen any squirrels. I am sure this damage was from from birds, because squirrels would have devastated everything, and I would be referring to two possible "survivors" rather than fatalities.

For lunch (or breakfast, or whatever...) I got a bit more festive than I really had the energy for. first I steamed up some celery, onion & carrots in olive oil and butter. I made a sauce with milk corn starch, squeezed lemon juice and white pepper. I blended the sauce into the vegetables, and set them aside. Then I sautéed fresh minced garlic and jalapeño, into which I steamed some bean threads. This I poured in to my serving bowl. Next, I heated up some olive oil. While the olive oil was heating put salt and pepper on some perch fillets and lightly cooked them in the hot olive oil. I placed the fillets over the bean threads, then poured the vegetables and sauce over it all. It was very good. I am glad I spend the effort to make something pleasing!

Later, I decided to go out and plant some sunflower seeds directly in the ground – no peat pots – just old fashioned planting the seed in the dirt. But, before I would let myself do that, I decided I would wash up some of the dishes first – as much as I hate washing dishes. Of course, it only took a few minutes to get them done, but as I was getting ready to go out and plant the sunflower seeds, the phone rang. Skip wanted me to meet him at Schnuck's. So... I dashed out and planted my seeds anyway, then got dressed and zipped over to the store. Skip came in just behind me, so the timing was good. I picked up some Napa cabbage, bean sprouts and green onion. I plan on making some stir fry pork tonight, with nice lean pork (not my usual fatty pork steak).

My "first" White-Eagle corn plant is really starting to grow. It's successors, in the next batch of planting are not far behind. In total I have about 8 plants growing.

THURSDAY - JUNE 12, 2008
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Nvgine-iga – Dehaluyi Talidu
ᏅᎩᏁ-ᎢᎦ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᏔᎵᏚ

I slept fitfully last night, and all my dreams seemed to involve my sisters, and mobile homes. I got to bed early, yet I did not get up until after 12:00p! I did not feel well, and kept coughing and gagging. I ended up calling in tardy for the first time in a while.

I experimented with my hair today by sweeping my "tail" up over my head. Several people commented and were variously "pleased" or "disappointed" that I had "cut my tail off." All seemed to be taken aback that it was merely an illusion. My tail is still there!

It was hot today. The constant rains seem to have finally given out, but now the heat is setting in, the a/c is running, and electric bill is climbing (while the bank balance dwindles). If I allow myself to think about it much, I become too scared and depressed. The future does not bode well. I do believe that Obama will be our next president, and I have hope that he will bring new direction and hope to America. However, I am worried that it will be far too late for many of us. Hmm... "Bush" is a four-letter word.

2:59a – Home again, with no work tomorrow. Catching up email and journal. The usual. My life has become so boring.

3:17a – My computer is so busy at the moment. Copying a DVD, rendering a WMV movie. I would like to just go watch TV and let it work on, but ... we have no more satellite connection. I need to call them and confirm discontinuance of service.

1:14p – I just got up. I was sleeping pretty soundly, though I had some disturbing dreams. One dream sequence was long and complicated.

We begin in the middle of the dream (I can't remember what happened before). I am with my sisters, Calisa and Darlene. We are are outside in a small park-like area, along a moderately busy road. A couple of brown and white porcupines come ambling along the side of the road and we see them one of my sisters, Darlene I believe, goes over to investigate them. I am yelling at her to stay away from them, but she just grins and ignores me. The porcupines are becoming agitated at her approach, and start to shimmy and rattle their quills. One of them takes a defensive posture, turning its back to her and fluffing up it's quills. Darlene ends her inspection and comes back over to where we are (still grinning). I am angry at here and make some comment about how I wished she had been stuck be quill, just to learn a lesson. Meanwhile, there is another animal in front of me. I am not sure if it is a wolf, a wild dog, or what. It's approaching me, and I am a bit nervous. It too is a bit shy of me, but it ends up that it is a dog. It is creamy brown in color, with a lanky body and long legs. It looks like it is part Greyhound and part Afghan. The dog finally gets comfortable enough with me that it is laying by me and I am petting its belly while it rolls over on its back. I notice a collar and a tag. I check the tag for a name or some kind of information on the dog and discovered that it belonged to the local police station, which was near by. I skip forward in time, and I am now visiting the police station and there is a handsome young officer there. We are outside, and I am telling him that we had seen some unexpected animals that day, when I see an animal crossing a grassy ditch not far from us. The animal was low slung with short legs and a little tail that stuck up in the air. Down its back it had a bright green ruff. It look like it was part pig and part dog. The officer and I were both looking at it and I was trying to put a name to it, but he beat me to it. I can't remember what he called it, but he was correct, and I recognized the name. Then there was a baboon. I don't remember if I saw the baboon while standing there with the officer, or if I remember seeing it and was telling him about it, but I pointed out that there were lots of strange and exotic animals running around!

Maĥåbŧǜt. With dream-enhanced skill, I properly pronounced the name and the huge centaurian bellowed with pleased laughter. I forget what happened after this, but then I woke up an rolled over to see what time it was, but I could not see the clock. There was something in its way. Trying to focus in the dark, I thought I saw the outline of a bear, and its paw was covering the clock's display as it hovered over me! I was startled and realized I was just dreaming as I awoke to find that it was only the dog from the police station. He was sitting on the bed by my head and his leg was in front of my face blocking my view of the clock. I did not remember bringing the dog in the house, nor the bedroom, but I realized I was going to have to get up and let him go outside to relieve himself. About that time there was a loud noise which woke me up (yet again). I had still been dreaming! I got up and could not find anything to put on, so used a pillow to cover myself and stepped out of my bedroom. The first thing I saw was Skip's bedroom door, bashed outward into the hall with a fist-sized big hole in it. Burglary!? I looked into the office and as I feared, I saw it was in disarray, and my flat-panel monitor had been stolen ... again! I was full of dismay and anger and frustration. I went to the living room and found more mayhem as the burglar had torn the place up. I went back to my room to find some proper clothes. I had to call the police a fast a possible. Then I would need to call Skip, who had already left for work. How could this happen with me sleeping in the next room!? Then I woke up (again!). I wondered if this was actual reality, or was it yet another dream within a dream? I sat up and felt dizzy and shaky and generally felt like crap. Yep. This was definitely reality!

2:20p – So, I went back to bed and just got up an hour ago. I've spent all this time trying to write down this wild dream sequence while it's fresh in my mind. Meanwhile, it is 73°f outside and overcast. I see water dripping from roof out the window, so we must have had some rain earlier. I thought I heard it raining. In fact, I suspect the noise made by my "burglar" was actually thunder. But that's good. We needed a spot of rain. I just hope my gourd seedlings did not get flooded.

11:35p – I had only been up for about 80 minutes when Skip called. He wanted me to pick him up at 5th&Mo and take him to the Home Depot over near Kingshighway and Arsenal. I got myself together, and headed out. I swung by the post office first and sent my DVD's out to Chaz and Tamili. Skip was running behind. I arrived at the train station at 3:31p. Traffic was horrible and it took forever to find the place, but eventually we made it. Skip bought his boards, which he wants in order to make his Adirondack chairs.

I still had not had a bite to eat all day and was light headed from hunger. We decided we would just stop by Popeye's Chicken, but first Skip needed to go by Wal-Mart. He purchased a new saw, for the purposes of cutting out curved designs. I am not sure what kind of saw it is, but he seemed happy with it. For my part, I got a couple of snacks, and some paper plates, which we are out of. I also bought beer, which was cheaper at Wal-Mart than any other place I've found. That took all my cash on hand though, so when we went to Popeye's, I had to use my Visa card.

SATURDAY - JUNE 14, 2008
– –

Unadodaquidena – Dehaluyi Nigadu
ᎤᎾᏙᏓᏈᏕᎾ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᏂᎦᏚ

1:18p – Off to work again. My back is in such pain this morning. It's good that I don't have to stand or move much to do this job or I could not do it.

My back was a problem all day, but I managed. QuckCom went down for for a couple of hours and I had to don a red vest and walk around providing roaming support. That was actually a nice break in the routine, and may have been good for my back problem.

SUNDAY - JUNE 15, 2008
– –

Unadodaquasgv – Dehaluyi Sgigadu
ᎤᎾᏙᏓᏆᏍᎬ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᏍᎩᎦᏚ

3:42a – I have been spending time after work doing lots of maintenance on my computer. Getting large files saved to DVD. Deleting unused programs. Downloaded my copy of PhotoShop 7.0 which became corrupt on my disc. RD had saved it from the backup I sent her to my domain. I am glad I planned ahead on SOMEthing! I need to eat a bite and get to bed. I am just making "soup" out of my leftovers from lunch today. I don't have anything cooked for lunch tomorrow, so I will have to improvise.

12:37p – I got up about 11:33a, with my usual reluctance. However, after sitting in the living room for a few moments getting my post-sleep bearings, I went outside and planted 4 of my gourd plants. The tobacco is coming along well, and my surviving sunflowers are starting to look much stronger.

I have chicken soup on the stove simmering now, while I go take a shower. I see I am going to be behind schedule already this morning.

1:40p – I am behind schedule, as expected, but not as bad as expected. Hitting the road to work again here in a moment.

It was another typical day at work. Nothing special. I hated it. I am so tired of hating my job. I should be happy to have A job. I know this, but... I just hate it.

MONDAY - JUNE 16, 2008
– –

Unadodaquonvhi – Dehaluyi Daladu
ᎤᎾᏙᏓᏉᏅᎯ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᏓᎳᏚ

4:16a – Supper is about done. Now I need to find another movie to watch. I am really missing my DVR recordings!

4:44a – I made a hearty chipotle chicken & vegetable soup with Napa and collards. Enough for lunch. It was excellent, but it's late. Off to bed. I am sure I will hate getting up in the morning... as usual.

1:25a – It was very hard to get up this morning, and it was nearly noon by the time I forced myself up. I made some pork & noodle soup. Watched a bit more of Lord of the Rings, and checked the garden. Two of my four gourd plant which I put in the ground yesterday are snipped off. I have more. I set one of Skip's trays of of seedlings out. They were getting moldy in the house. He mowed the lawn yesterday and the back yard looks much tidier. Well... I must be off to work now for day 3 of 4.

I spent most of the day in floor support today. Nothing exceptional to report. Boring. Looking forward to my days off on Wednesday and Thursday!

TUESDAY - JUNE 17, 2008
– –

Taline-iga – Dehaluyi Galiquadu
ᏔᎵᏁ-ᎢᎦ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᎦᎵᏆᏚ

4:27a – I need to be getting to bed. I've accomplished very little tonight outside of lots of email. Though I did re-upload my "pottery album" online. I did not realize it was missing.

Greta says she had put the bloodroot in the mail for us. I am looking forward to receiving her plant-mail!

12:47a – I could not get out of bed this morning. I finally got up a bit after 12:30p and went straight to the shower to try to get woke up. I have about 30 minutes to get out of here.

I was feeling bad this evening and decided to leave early. I stuck it out until 11:00p to make sure Becky and/or James were there to cover me on floor support, and then left. I was shaky, dizzy, ... not feeling right at all. It didn't feel like a normal "sick" feeling, but went home anyway.

WEDNESDAY - JUNE 18, 2008
– –

Tsoine-iga – Dehaluyi Neladu
ᏦᎢᏁ-ᎢᎦ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᏁᎳᏚ

I had a dream this morning about Nikki. She was crying, and I wanted to console her, but at the last moment, I remembered she no longer had my confidence, so I back off. Karen was in the dream too. It was very disturbing. I think Tom was either in the dream, or was referenced in the dream.

I rented, and this morning watched my old 1951 favorite, sci-fi, classic, "The Day the Earth Still." It's still a great movie. An all time classic. For its day, it was one of the best of sci-fi ever, in my humble opinion. "Gort! Klatu barrada nicto!"

Garden news: Only one of the 4 gourd plants are left. Something has killed them. I still have more waiting to be "sent to the front" ... and battle for gourd freedom!

The various tobacco plants are (so far) doing well, as are the corn plants that survived.

Skip as been making some really great yard furniture with the left over wood from the fence project. His most recent endeavor is an Adirondack chair. I pulled his chair out into the yard and took my picture in it... y'op' on' Anw' Ank' Is' IT' etw' Atspe ny' aim' ACkrre!

8:18p – I just mowed the lawn. I am huffing and puffing! Whew! Very invigorating though. Good exercise. Gods know I do not get enough.

10:37p – I just had a 23 minute chat with Jack! I was getting SO worried about him! I knew he was not doing as well as he tried to convince me, but this time I feel better about it. y'op' Ih' Ank' est' Afy' Avy' IT' Ahkre! ...

10:46p – Skip is just headed off to bed. I have not even started anything for supper.

10:57p – Skip alerted me to a new position opening at MSCNS ... at Wash U. This is headed by Diane Gentile, who I know personally. I am going to apply for the position! That reminds me... I need to go dye my hair. I want to look good if I can get an interview. I tried calling today, but could not get connected.

Skip's boss (Gregg) came over this evening and dropped off an electric water pump. We are going to see if we can use it to pump water from our recently discover well in the back yard and use ground water to water the plants!

The mail ran late, but I was happy to see that Greta's plants, including bloodroot arrived! I am excited about this. I hope I can get them all to grow. Especially the bloodroot, which I hope to use to remove unwanted skin tags which are plaguing me. She sent several plants. I am not sure what they all are. I am sure one is river cane, the others I am not sure of.

11:11p – Well, I have my head covered in goop and a grocery bag covering it. I hope I got all the gray, but left some of the light brown. We will see.

THURSDAY - JUNE 19, 2008
– –

Nvgine-iga – Dehaluyi Soneladu
ᏅᎩᏁ-ᎢᎦ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᏐᏁᎳᏚ

1:17a – I have just created a pan of pork and potato. I am about to go try it out, then hit the rack.

I did not get up until around 1:00p today. I have really planned on getting up by 10:00a, but I didn't have to, didn't want to and ... didn't! Once up, the time flew.

First, Mid-West Waste Management carted off our trash bin. I was behind on the payments. However, I just paid them $80 which should be received by the 20th (that's tomorrow), so it was very annoying for them to do this. Maybe we will just get another garbage collection agency.

I checked email and then spent some time getting my resume updated and further streamlined. I updated my on line extended resume as well. I called MSCITS (formerly MSCNS) and spoke with Jenny. Diane G. was in a meeting, so I could not speak with her. I found the correct position online with Jenny's help and began the process of applying for the position. (It starts out at over $17/hr!). Hunger finally overtook me, and I "souped up" some leftovers from last night. As I was doing this, Skip called for me to pick him up from the train. To my surprise, it was nearly 4:00p! I got up so late, and was so busy, I did not notice the time. I thought I was going to go to Jay International and Soulard Market today, but I guess not.

While I was speaking with Jenny, Skip called. I had to call him back. He wanted me to take some photos of the pump fittings and the fittings from the well pipe.

I finished my cooking. It was reasonably palatable, but nothing to write home about. Then I headed off to get Skip. I was running behind schedule. It was about 4:40p before I picked him up. We went straight home and got some of the pump parts, and then off to the hardware store for more fittings. I hope he got the right parts. We will see...

When we got home, Skip headed off to bed for his customary afternoon nap, and I headed out to the backyard to get my blood root and other plants in the ground. I got them all planted in 3 different containers, with only two noticeable mosquito bites (one on my left hand which is a doozy... but I killed the biter, so she is worse off than I!). I put all the plants in my old planters from 2-3 years ago (for tomatoes).

9:36p – Skip is watching TV (well, we don't have TV now... so he is watching a tape or DVD). I am trying to catch up on recent events in my journal. I have a couple of sweet potatoes in the oven cooking.

11:40p – I had another chat with Jack tonight! I am so glad to be hearing from him. I have been SO worried and felt so guilty that I was not in a position to help him.

I hope this job application goes through and is successful. Gregg Evans is supporting me on this, and he is a Director. I have my resume submitted. We will see. Diane has worked with me, so I hope she remembers me and has some respect for my skills. Again... we will see.

Meanwhile, I need to go cook. The first thing I plan on doing, is to chop up some vegetables to put in zip-locks.

FRIDAY - JUNE 20, 2008
– –

Tsunagilosdi – Dehaluyi Talisgohi
ᏧᎾᎩᎶᏍᏗ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᏔᎵᏍᎪᎯ

1:42a – I have been watching "The Bucket List "... so far, pretty good. Off to bed now. Work again tomorrow. Yuck.

Work was the usual, and as always, I was glad when the day was over. Lunch was my highlight, with grilled steak (marinated in Corner Creek whiskey); and grill chicken, a sweet potato with brown sugar & butter, and some veggies in a white sauce. Then back to answer phones... sigh...

Oh... I take that back. I had a new agent (Erica) sit with me for training. I hope I taught her some good points ... along with all my bad habits!

SATURDAY - JUNE 21, 2008
– –

Unadodaquidena – Dehaluyi Talisgo-Saquu
ᎤᎾᏙᏓᏈᏕᎾ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᏔᎵᏍᎪ-ᏌᏊ

I got up around 9:00a to go to the bathroom and Skip said something to me about going to deposit our coins in the bank and waking me up in an hour. I was half asleep and not sure what he said.

I went back to bed and had some wild dreams. One of them included Chad Johnson. For some reason, he was painting my face, and I was tolerating it. I think I was painting something too. One of us was paint a very bad "goose in flight" in greens and blues. IT' Imdre Twe Cad asw' Alyose umsatw' eryotrIke.

Skip knocked on my door around 10:30a I think. I got up, and struggled to get woke up. I had a small cup of his coffee, and took a quick shower. Got dressed, and we headed out for Belleville. I missed my exit (17) somehow and exiting at the Collinsville exit (24). I had to turn around and head back. The clock was ticking toward 12 noon when the bank would close. So, of course, on my way back I took exit 17B when I wanted 17A. Grrrr! I had to make a (probably illegal) U-turn ... more time lost. By this time I was sure I was not going to make it. I tried going to the small bank, but they closed about the time we pulled in. I then zipped over the the main bank ... and they were closed too. All that time, gas, and exertion... for naught.

In disgust, we headed back toward Collinsville to eat. We decided we were in the mood for Steak & Shake. The car was smoking like a burning building by this time. I really need to get this fixed, but I just don't have any money to do so.

Steak & Shake was full. It was about 12:30p at this time, so the lunch crowd was in full swing. There was a waiting list, so we walked over to Bob Evan's instead.

I realized as we were eating, that I had not brought one penny with me, and... I FORGOT TO BRING MY WALLET! I was driving with no license. I NEVER do this! Well... obviously "almost" never. That's the first time can remember! Skip paid me rent/bill money, so I had funds, but I was nervous about driving around without my wallet.

I had my usual, a half pot roast sandwich and salad. Skip had the Chicken Parmesan. (He thought he was ordering Chicken Alfredo... oops). The cost was reasonable and I was sated without being bloated.

By complete coincidence, we ate at Bob Evan's on Litha exactly one year ago today!
This picture was taken last year ... same location at which we ate today. How odd!

We walked back to the car, then drove to Wal-Mart. I spent $60+ on groceries, including some stain for the coffee table I am refinishing, plus cheap foam brushes and some oil for the car. Skip bought his own electric sander for about $13.00. I also got more oil for the car, since it is using it up at an ever increasing pace.

When we got to the car, we discovered that the truck had been unlatched all this time! We were both quite disturbed by this and relieved that no one had noticed and taken advantage of this oversight. I had about $300.00 in coins in the trunk and he had nearly $1,000 in coins and checks! Thank the gods no one stole from us!

Then we went over to Home Depot. Skip was looking to buy a saw, but they did not have what he wanted, so ... he saved money!

We left Home Depot and headed home. The weather was weird and spectacular. We could see several cloudbursts pouring rain down off in front of us, including what looked like our home destination. We went straight home and when we arrived the tornado sirens were wailing. Some rain was falling, but it was nothing major. The sirens stopped shortly and there was no serious weather incident. I went out to the garden and took some photos.

Back inside, I got a phone call from a collection agency. They are trying to collect for AmerenUE (the gas bill). I told them that I had set up an automatic payment of $10 every 2 weeks, so I don't know what the problem is. The agent spoke with her supervisor, and he will call Ameren on Monday. She is to call me back on Wednesday at 3:00p. How annoying!

I got a few mosquito bites in the process, despite putting on long pants, some old socks, and spraying down with repellant.

The table is looking good! I am pleased so far. The first coat has to sit for at least 6 hours, so I will finish it up tomorrow.

We left the house again about 5:00p. I took Skip to Block Buster, while I ran over to the Dollar General and picked up a few cheapy items (main my Knorr Chicken bouillon which I use a lot).

SUNDAY - JUNE 22, 2008
– –

Unadodaquasgv – Dehaluyi Talisgo-Tali
ᎤᎾᏙᏓᏆᏍᎬ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᏔᎵᏍᎪ-ᏔᎵ

12:11a – I have been working diligently getting my journal caught up for today for the past few hours. I jus realized the time has crossed the midnight hour! I still have not eaten any of the grilled meat sitting in the kitchen. I am thinking about chopping it all up. Beef steak, chicken breast, and chick leg quarters... and mixing it all together. I can use the grilled meats to stir-fry several meals.

Chicken leg quarters, a chicken breast, a beef steak, and pineapple, fresh off the grill...

My feet and ankles got SO eaten up by mosquitoes while helping with the grill. Skip thinks you can build up an immunity to mosquito bites. Maybe he can... I don't. I've never heard of such a thing.

Skip got motivated to trim hedges and tidy up the front yard this evening. While he was doing that, I was installing our new Belkin router. I got that installed and functioning. All three computers are again interconnecting. The I went out to assist Skip with hauling several wheel barrows full of trimmings back to the burn pile.

Skip got a new T-shirt today. He and his co-workers have been telling "Chuck Norris" jokes, so he got a Chuck Norris T-shirt..

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars,
Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer.
Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing MySpace for taking the name
of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table,
because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

12:37a – I have done a massive job of updating my journal... once again. If I can do anything right in my life, it is documenting the tedium that is based on! I am off to the kitchen now, to chop up grilled meat and probably to put on a pot of rice.

MONDAY - JUNE 23, 2008
– –

Unadodaquonvhi – Dehaluyi Talisgo-Tsoi
ᎤᎾᏙᏓᏉᏅᎯ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᏔᎵᏍᎪ-ᏦᎢ

I got up around noon. I went right out to the patio and put the second coat on the coffee table. I am not really pleased with the result though.

I worked in the garden and got about 8 of my gourd plants in the ground. I put some Miracle Grow on all the plants.

We went to Wal-Mart and picked up some things, including a Belkin router. We came home and I set up the router while Skip trimmed up the front yard. I went out and helped him with that.

I was able to catch up my Cherokee "word of the day" graphics tonight. That was long and tedious, but I got it done!

12:11p – I got up around 8:30a, but I went back to bed. Then I dozed off finally, and did not want to get up again. Back to work today. Yuck.

I took one call before going on floor support. It was hectic at times, but I had some lax periods and was able to read some of my book, "Proteus Unbound." Yes! I am reading again! A little. At least I am trying. I am only reading at work so for though. And reading at lunch has been a problem. My eyes water up, my left eye can barely see properly, my focus is not so good, and my reading is slow as a result. I am sure glad I do not have this problem with the computer screen! (yet...)

TUESDAY - JUNE 24, 2008
– –

Taline-iga – Dehaluyi Talisgo-Nvgi
ᏔᎵᎾ-ᎢᎦ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᏔᎵᏍᎪ-ᏅᎩ

4:28a – I have been spending the after work time, first watching the remainder of "Back to the Future II" ... the copy a couple of DVD's of comics for Merl and James, and finally, copying music files off of the server drive to make more room.

WEDNESDAY - JUNE 25, 2008
– –

Tsoine-iga – Dehaluyi Talisgo-Hisgi
ᏦᎢᏁ-ᎢᎦ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᏔᎵᏍᎪ-ᎯᏍᎩ

12:14a – I started to feel closer to "normal" around 8pm. I have been working on Old Script numerals tonight. I discovered that much of what I had done was not correct. I have corrected what I could... (and made excuses for the rest! lol...)

12:30a – I have my supper started. I am making some spaghetti sauce. I am assuming I have pasta to go with it! Meanwhile, I am going to put my latest DVD in ... "Spiderwick" ...

1:14a – I am watching the early portion of "Spiderwick." I just made some meat sauce and for pasta I used macaroni. Should be good, if not my usual quality. Doug would not be impressed.

1:43a – I decided, for the first time in months, to take a couple of Tylenol PM. I need to get a deep, solid sleep. They may help. I will finish watching Spiderwick tomorrow. So far it is pretty good.

1:42p – I slept for about 11 hours! I think I am feeling significantly better than yesterday.

Not much to comment on today. I stayed home. Watered the garden. Watched the remainder of Spiderwick and started watching my old copy of "The Dark Crystal." Skip went to Costco with Brian and got a ride home. We went to the store later, after he got home. Jack chatted in to me again. I am glad he is "talking." I was getting so very worried about him. Then Judy Marie chatted in. I've not heard from her in months. She and Fran had to move from Alabama to Arkansas. She says they "lost everything." But now they seem to be doing well and have a couple of acres, and a camper, with a mobile home coming up soon. I look forward to hearing the details of their escapades.

THURSDAY - JUNE 26, 2008
– –

Nvgine-iga – Dehaluyi Talisgo-Sudali
ᏅᎩᏁ-ᎢᎦ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᏔᎵᏍᎪ-ᏑᏓᎵ

12:56a – I am off to bed. Back to work tomorrow. Jeez... I really hate this job! I am just getting too tired to deal with it all. I thought I would be retiring this fall from the City of Orlando, but... I have nothing. I know it is mostly my own fault, but it still sucks.

1:13a – I took a moment to treat myself to the remaining bit of ice cream I had in the freezer. Now I am off to bed. Getting ready for another repetitiously boring day in my "existence."

My dreams last night were really more bizarre than usual... and that is saying something. Here are some highlights. I am writing this about 20 hours later, and we all know how dreams fade from memory, so I will just put down some of the points I remember.

In the first segment, I was in my home in Florida and came out of my bedroom. It was morning, and sunlight was shining through the patio doors. Wafting through rays of light were tendrils of cigarette smoke. I came into the living room, through to the dining room where my mother was sitting having her morning coffee and cigarette. I was coughing and gagging, and she asked what was wrong... I managed to say "cigarette smoke!" between gasps for air, and headed off to the guest bath...

There is a large gap where I cannot remember what happened, though I know there was something. The next portion of my dreaming fades in as I am driving and sitting at a signal. It is night. The light turns green and I start to pull forward, but the car pulls to the right. I turn hard to the left, but the car is veering right. I give in and allow the car to turn the corner and then it pulls into a vacant lot. I try to turn around, turning to the right, but the car just starts going in circles. Frustrated and irritated, I put the car in reverse and try to back out. I seem to lose control of the car and it plunges backward over an overgrown embankment. I manage to clamber out of the car and extricate myself from the tangle of vegetation. I find myself in front of a mobile home which is situated under a raised Interstate highways. An odd place for a home. I knock on the door of the home and a man and his wife come out to greet me. He is tall, dark, slightly gray hair. He asks what I want, and I tell him my car has slid down the embankment by his home and I am seeking help. We get to talking, and I ask him about living under the interstate. Specifically, I ask if there are many accidents, and does he hear them, and is it disturbing. He shoos his wife inside and pulls me aside. He does not like my line of questioning and does not want to upset his wife. He tells me that, "yes," they do hear accidents, and it is very disturbing for him. He tries to protect his wife from these bad things. I try to sympathize and relate that we can hear the Interstate from where we live too, but only distantly, not so "in-your-face" as his situation.

The dream blurs and fades. I remember being inside a home or building, opening cabinets, trying to find the one that would lead me back to my car. Then I was standing before a great glass wall. On the other side was a stream with ducks. I had a little duckling at my feet which had never been with its own kind. I was thinking it would be good if the duckling could go to them... and then the glass wall ceased to exist and the duckling ran happily to join its own kind in the stream...

Much more happened in the dream, but I can't remember it well. I finally came to realize that I was in a dream, however. I had some objects. Small tea candles I think... I am not sure. I tossed one on the ground and told someone that this was my dream. I was determined to take control of it. With extreme effort, I forced the object (I am still not sure what it was, but "tea candle" will do), to raise and float in the air. I lost control and it fell, but I toss another one out and managed to mentally grasp it before it landed and skim it back into the air. I found that if I could keep it moving it was easier; but hold it still was hard.

More vague empty spots in my dream. I remember something about "skating" by sliding in my socks on a smooth surface. Very vague now. Then I am back in the empty lot where my car was last seen. I was being chased by something, I think. It was still night, and I was still completely aware that I was in a dream. I wanted desperately to wake, but I could not. I was barefoot, and the ground was dirt and sparse grass. I tried leaping and skimming over the ground as I often do in dreams. It was intentional, but I could not seem to keep my height. I hit the ground hard than intended and the garish light that seemed to be coming from behind the trees suddenly went out and all was dark. All became silent and I was afraid. I just wanted to wake up. Then I realized I was awake. I opened my eyes... and was laying in my bed. Reality was back. I was not sure if I should be relieved or depressed...

So, then I woke up. I eventually dragged myself from bed around 11:45a. The first thing I did was check messages on my phone and found that a charge of nearly $180 had been deducted from my account! I checked, and it was DirectTV. Apparently they had my debit card number and simply TOOK their money from my account. Now I do not have money to pay other bills. What complete assholes! I can't believe they could be so immoral, devious, unscrupulous, and unethical! I had spoken with them and told them I would set up a payment plan, but I simply could not longer afford to pay for satellite service. I will NEVER have their service again. First of all their service was complete, crappy shit. I never had a day without having a "searching for signal" message covering a quarter of the screen (even though the program was playing anyway)! Many of my DVR recordings were trashed, or ended part way through. It was awful, so I did not terribly lament giving up their so-called "service." Then they take my money out of my account! Now I can't pay vital bills, like utilities. I am so sick of it all. I am working my ass off for a pittance and then treated like shit the moment I have a problem. I could understand if (as has been the case in the past... admittedly), I had loans, and credit cards, and was wasting money on vices... etc. But I have no loans, no credit cards, I go no where, I do nothing, I have hardly any life and they want to suck that little bit out of me. I am so damned tired of it. This country is NOT going to the proverbial "Hell in a hand-basket." It surpassed that quite some time ago!

I went online and completed another application to Washington University. Hopefully for the position Skip and Gregg brought to my attention. Its seems I now have 3 applications pending with them. If nothing happens, I think I need to start thinking about my future. I can't live off Skip, which is what I feel I am doing these days. Maybe I can scrounge up funds to put my stuff in storage, and move to OK with family. See if I can get on disability. Maybe I can salvage a little if the remaining (years?) of my life.

I took a little longer than I should have and watched the remainder of "Dark Crystal" and had a bowl of sausage-noodle soup. I did not even take a shower or shave before work today, which is completely unlike me. I am really getting tired and depressed with trying to do the "right" thing and to make ends meet, etc. There just seems to be no winning... no justice... the word "fair" was long discarded from my meaningful vocabulary, and I feel justified in that.

So, I got to work late as a result of all this morning's drama. Disgusted and in a bad mood, just itching for anyone to rub me the wrong way so I could bite their head off. Yes... not a happy camper was I.

I got logged into floors support right on time. Then a little after 7:00p "Angeliqué" through me back in the phone queue. So I went on break. I had a little can of Vienna sausages and some crackers for a snack, but I ended up with another attack of the old "blocked parotid duct." My right cheek began to swell, and I was in excruciating pain from mandibular cramping. I took calls until about 9:30 and went to "lunch." Trying to eat was too painful! My face swelled up more. I went back on phones until a little after 11:00p and then went on my last break. I went looking for a Floor Lead and could find none, so I sent an I-mail to my Team Lead (Chris) and told him I had to leave early. I had warned him of this earlier before he left.

FRIDAY - JUNE 27, 2008
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Tsunagilosdi – Dehaluyi Talisgo-Galiquogi
ᏧᎾᎩᎶᏍᏗ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᏔᎵᏍᎪ-ᎦᎵᏉᎩ

3:30a – I got home early (of course) and took some aspirin, hoping to reduce the inflammation in my jaw. And some beer to help numb the pain. And I've been catching up email and my journal. I am so damned depressed. I had to fuel the car up tonight. That was another $53.00. I now have less to pay bills with than I did this time last pay period... and I paid no bills during that time. I am sliding backwards, and not even at a gradual pace. It's becoming pointless to work. I will lose everything anyway. My only hope is that one of these 3 job applications will come through for me and maybe it will not be too late. I am not placing bets.

3:35a – I want to fix something to eat, but it will be too painful. My jaw will cramp up and I just can't deal with the pain.

4:19a – I am so depressed, I don't want to go to bed. But I need to try to go to Soulard Market tomorrow. I don't have much funds left, but I need to get some basics, like garlic and jalapeño. I know I can't afford the spice shop now. I am always so broke. If I only had an excuse to blame it on, but my only real vice is drinking beer. That's about the only thing I could cut out of my life to improve finances, and that just crosses a line. I have to have some kind of simple pleasures. My evening beers is not too much to ask. If it is, then ... well... that's just pathetic.

11:20a – I got up before 10:00a today, made some tea and have been going through email. The swelling has gone down in my face, but it still feels like someone punched me in the jaw. Nor have I eaten yet. I am afraid that when I touch any food to my mouth, I will cramp up again. However, the tea did not cause any problem, so maybe I will be okay. This usually doesn't last too long.

I managed to get myself up and motivated and went to Soulard market. I got more garlic, onion, jalapeño, broccoli and some raw peanuts to boil.

The entrance to Soulard Market, which is about 200 years old now. Scenes from today.

The day was hot, and I was not feeling all so great. My right cheek/jaw is swollen up and in pain still. I saw Jeff just as I was leaving. I drove by him... he was sitting in front of his salon.

I came back home and fixed a bite to eat ...some pork and vegetable stew. I was not sure if I could even manage to eat it with my jaw in critical condition. However, I did manage to eat okay. I think my jaw has gotten so bad that it is not hurting as much. That is both good and bad.

Skip came home around 4:30p. We released the current squirrel (after he marked it with a dab of paint). He took a short nap, then we went to the store.

I worked most of the evening on my graphic "word of the day." It was very complicated today with he word "tsiyu" for "canoe" ... and "ship" ... and "airplane" ... I won't go in to it here.

SATURDAY - JUNE 28, 2008
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Unadodaquidena – Dehaluyi Talisgo-Tsunela
ᏧᎾᏙᏓᏈᏕᎾ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᏔᎵᏍᎪ-ᏧᏁᎳ

2:12a – I am working on various things. Supper is cooking. My face is still in pain. I do NOT want to have to deal with four days of work with this pain. I really need to get on disability if I am not going to be able to get a real job. I cannot keep going like this. I am broke, I don't have money for the bills, the are taking my money without my consent, ... this is just crazy. If I was wasting my money, had loans and credit cards, and such...I suppose I could understand, but I have even given up TV. My internet connection and my cell phone (my main forms of communication to the outside world) are my only real "extravagant" bills. My only vice... ONLY vice I stress, is drinking beer. I suppose I should quite doing that too, but... what exactly am I staying alive for again...? I can't recall...

2:40a – I just looked out on the back patio and noticed that Skip left the water on again. The patio was wet. I went out and turned it off. More wasted funds. But, at least the water waste is minimal compared to the electricity. And Skip is working on hooking us up with a pump to draw water from the well in the back yard, so ... I won't complain, or even mention it to him.

Meanwhile, my jaw is still swollen and in pain. I have to work the next four days. I will be missing Pride week this year. I am so sick of this job. I can't get anywhere, and can't DO anything, ... I have no real life. I am just so sick of all the pointless effort.

I had a dream that I was in a big grocery store, or Mall this morning around 8:00a. I think Steve S. from work was with me. We were in a small café area. There was a storm outside, and I looked through the huge windows and saw a tornado. I thought, "Wow! I've never seen a tornado in person!" but then it turn toward us and hit the building. It was tearing everything apart. Windows were exploding in and the roof was coming apart. Many people ran outward, but I ran back into the building, wondering which of us were making the better decisions. I woke up before learning the answer!

Skip was working on the pump again when I left for work today. It may not have the power to draw water from the well. We will see. I am sure he will figure it out. He is intelligent and persistent!

SUNDAY - JUNE 29, 2008
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Unadodaquasgv – Dehaluyi Talisgo-Sonela
ᎤᎾᏙᏓᏆᏍᎬ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᏔᎵᏍᎪ-ᏐᏁᎳ

2:51a – I started watching the movie "10,000 BC" with Skip before leaving for work, but I could not watch it all. I am watching it now. Great movie!

I have been reading some of the reviews on this movie and they are all mostly condescending. I found this movie delightful and entertaining. I found the reviews to be haughty and demeaning. I found the movie to be beautiful in its scenic value, and conceptualizations. It had a little bit of everything and kept it just on the inside realm of believable.

I got up about 11:45a. Had a bowl of corn flakes and a banana for breakfast. Skip was working on his second Adirondack chair. We have another squirrel captive and will be letting it go again later. I worry they are going to start to catch on that they can "get away." The last one, a female, was a fiesty thing. She growled at us and tried to grab us through the cage. No fear! She had our respect. We release her of course and have not seen her again. We are getting to know different squirrels now by sight. That's scary...

Floor Support (from 2:30p to 7:00p) was slow tonight. I mostly read my book ... "Proteus Unbound." I finished it tonight. That's the first book I have read since getting laid of from Wash U. over THREE years ago! Since I was 11 years old, I averaged reading somewhere between a book per week or per month. Going a couple of months without reading a book was simply not an option! So, completing an entire book was a major accomplishment for me today. I need to find another book now.

I took a LOT of calls from about 7:30p on. I was in an oddly upbeat mood and my calls were all fairly smooth. No screaming retards today. Just nice polite ones.

MONDAY - JUNE 30, 2008
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Unadodaquonvhi – Dehaluyi Talisgo-Tsosgohi
ᎤᎾᏙᏓᏉᏅᎯ – ᏕᎭᎷᏱ ᏔᎵᏍᎪ-ᏦᏍᎪᎯ

4:45a – I am up too late, and still cooking for supper. I need to go to bed! I can't leave the food half cooked. I suspect I will have to be late tomorrow.... damn damn damn...

5:01a – I know I can't get up and to work in time tomorrow. I am up too late and still trying to fix "supper." I called in hoping there would be some UTO, but they have not had UTO available in many months now. Nearly a year I think.

5:46a – I am just headed off to bed. Nearly 2 hours behind schedule! Damn. It is daylight outside! I should be asleep. This sucks.

Skip's corn (red and white) and some of my "sacred tobacco" with Skip's white pumpkins for background.