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Journal Home
"Ayv vdadida, Edoda"
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SATURDAY - March 1, 2008 I did not get up until about noon today. I fixed some black chai, and once I was awake, Skip and I went to the Super Wal-Mart over in Collinsville and did some shopping. I spent nearly $80.00! All on food, except for some beer. The prices are just getting so ridiculous these days, and pay does not go up much. We did not even go out for lunch today. Skip had eaten, and I did not want to spend more money. I just fixed some left over soup from last night, adding a piece of pork steak to it. 7:23p – That's all I've eaten all day. 10:19p – Skip is making eye of round steaks wrapped in bacon for us tonight. I am backing some big ol' potatoes to go on the side. I made this Cherokee language graphic for the occasion... 10:44p – Meanwhile, the meat is cooked, and the potatoes are baked. Skip was not too enthusiastic about another veggie, so I did not bother to cook one.
SUNDAY - March 2, 2008 12:06a – I still have not eaten yet, but I spend some time putting some food away. I chopped up four heads of broccoli, and1 head of cabbage, which are now in Ziploc baggies in the icebox. 1:01a – Supper was excellent! I am stuffed... and off to bed now I got up late around 1:00. Skip and I went to check out the "Korner Kafé" over on Route 3. It was closed. We ended up going to the St. Louis Bread Company in St. Louis, over by Soulard Market, instead. I had a chicken salad sandwich (served by Chad). I was dreaming of the delicacy created by Sergio by in the early 1990's at his Bistro in the American Plaza next to City Hall in Orlando. The building no longer exists, and I don't know what may have happened to Sergio and his awesome croissant sandwiches, but I will never forget them! The one today was "okay" ... but did not fill the fantasy memory of Sergio's chicken salad with walnut and tarragon ... <sigh> !
MONDAY - March 3, 2008 2:33a – I've been very productive today. While Skip cleaned the dust off the ceiling, vacuumed, and cleaned the ceiling fan, I cleaned the glass shades on the ceiling fan, dusted most of the decorative flowers off, and more dusting, and did lots of laundry. I just finished hanging about a ton of shirts! More proper laundry than I have done in months. I need to get to bed now though. Back to the depressing reality of making a living tomorrow. The day (Sunday) was the most beautiful day we've seen in months! It was so nice to go out with not jacket, and to feel the cool breeze flowing over my skin, while the sun shone down warmly. Ah... it was a very good day. It's good to know there are still some left!
TUESDAY - March 4, 2008 2:30a – Email is caught up. I am off to watch a spot o' the tele. 3:44p – I was up well on time this morning, but I looked outside and there was 2-3 inches of snow! And it was still coming down. I decided to go in to work late, hoping the snow would quit and the roadways would clear up some. At 3:00p I went out and cleaned the snow off the car. It was think, but fluffy and not iced on. I left the car running and got dressed, then went back out to the car and it was already covered in snow again! Not as thick of course, but once I got out of the driveway, I discovered I could barely see. Everything is white, my windshield is smeared with ice. My sprayer jets (with deicer) have become clogged due to the shear amount of snow accumulating on the car. I was slip and sliding all the way down Melvin and Lazarcheff. The radio announce accidents on various roadways, and at that point I decided to just slip & slide my way back around the block and returned home. I cannot afford to miss a day of work, and I was almost to the point of getting an "earn-back" to drop my 5 absences on record down to 4, but now I will be at 6. This was not what I had planned. 4:22p – I just got my camera from the living room and went to plug it in. As I leaned over my desk, I got a sharp pain at the base of my spine. I thought it would be just a momentary thing, but it got worse. I had to sit down (and that hurt to). Nothing snapper or popped... there was no warning, just sudden and extreme pain. I managed to hook up the camera and I am sitting very still in the chair now. I can still feel the where the pain is, but if I don't move it is not so incapacitating. I have no clue what brought this on, so extreme, and so sudden! 11:33p – I am cooking now. I have some chicken, pork and broccoli battered and frying on the stove now. Well... supper was excellent!
WEDNESDAY
- March 5, 2008 12:27a – Off to bed now. Very full from a very delicious supper. I got up a little later than I planned and was behind schedule going over to see Jeff for his computer lesson. Then there was an awful backup on the PSB bridge and I was stuck there for another 20 minutes. By the time I got to meet with Jeff, it was a little after 2:00p and I had promised to pick Skip up after work and take him to the Social Security office. (He is working on getting his SS card replaced). I had to sit in the car for about an hour waiting, which was probably less stressful than what he was going through dealing with bureaucratic red tape inside. I sat in the car listening to NPR and trying to French braid the partial Mohawk I am growing... Skip was supposed to go to his first-time home buyers class in Fairview Heights tonight. I reminded him of that on the way home, and he had forgotten. There was no time left to attend that, but that was fine by me anyway. The car's engine is smoking badly, the CV joint is shaking the car when I drive, and that would have used up the fuel I needed to go to work the next day. I started watching the the Futurama movie "Bender's Big Score" tonight. 4:44a – Off to bed for me! 1:40p – I was up before noon. Been getting my journal caught up all morning. Work was work. Nothing exceptional to report other than more mundane, plodding, continuance of seemingly meaningless life...
SUNDAY - March 9, 2008 5:35a – The time changed this morning. As a result, I am really late getting to bed and tomorrow will surely suck. 12:45p – I slept in an hour late (compensating for the time change). I got up and started a pot of soup, took my shower, checked my email, and now am updating (briefly) my journal. Now... off to see if the soup is ready. I have a bout 30 minutes before I have to head off to work. I am so looking forward to my days off! I have to work through Tuesday, then I think I am off (except for Friday) until the 23rd. Three of my 4 days have been approved already. Work was about the usual tonight. Floor support until about 7:00p, then I went into the tech queue (and floor support) until about 9:45p. That's when I was finally able to take my 6:30p lunch! I went into the 157 queue after my lunch, but only had two calls... that was cool.
MONDAY
- March 10, 2008 4:25a – I just finished watching a repeat episode of "The Dresden Files." I have not watched that series in a while. Meanwhile, I made some hamburger patties with cabbage, onion & bell pepper for supper and lunch tomorrow. 2:10p – I felt awful this morning. Going in late to work. Each morning seems to get a little more difficult. May I can get "recharged" during my upcoming line of days off.
TUESDAY - March 11, 2008 1:46a – Home again. One more day of work, then 2 days off, 1 day on and EIGHT days off! Skip will be going to Wisconsin for a training class during St. Patty's day, during the first few days of my time off. It seems like every election I hear (or use) the line "choosing the lesser of two evils." This is the first election where I feel I am attempting to choose "the greater of two goods." I will be happy with either of these two candidates becoming president. At first I was leaning toward Clinton, but the more I learned about Obama, and the more I heard him speak, the more I liked him. Hillary has often accused him of being a good speech maker, but having no experience. She says "action is louder than words." I must agree with her, and Obama's actions have been very calm and he almost never says anything negative about Senator Clinton. She on the other hand has been the one to sling mud in the usual vicious political style of our country. Her actions have spoken loudly in this way, and I did not like what I heard. However, do not misunderstand me. I think she would be a fantastic president. I just think Obama would not only be just as good, but he has what (in my opinion) is the advantage of having grown up abroad, and without the proverbial "silver spoon" in his mouth. I think Obama can and will be more in touch with Americans as "people" than with Americans as "voting constituents." Time will tell. At any rate, Bush will be out of office and I would vote for a stick to see that happen!
WEDNESDAY - March 12, 2008 1:38a – Home at last... and this time I don't go back to work for a couple of day. I am so relieved. I am just getting worn out by this job, and the CV joint on the car is stressing me out with each trip. 3:53a – I am trying to work on "back ups" on my computer tonight. I have been too neglectful of this important function of late. I tried to run the MS Backup feature built in to my system, but ... apparently it does not write to DVD. Damn. 4:22a – I did not accomplish much tonight (this morning), but I really don't care. I have from now until the 23rd (excluding this Friday) to catch up on things! Off to bed for me now. Oh... my alteration of Skip's meal was excellent. Skip made orzo with chicken in spaghetti sauce. I added bok choy, pork, garlic and onion... and it came out great! I am quite full. Not good to go to bed on, granted, but it was OH so tasty! 10:17a – I thought I was going to sleep in until at least 1:00p today, but here I am ... up early. But, it's a day off from work and the sun is shining. I have a pot of spice tea steeping in the kitchen and a line of things to catch up on the computer. I should go outside and do something. I won't have long though. Skip will be getting off work early today. I have to pick him up from the train and take him to Waterloo to (finally) get his State ID. Maybe I will get my hair dyed today. It is just TOO gray! Aging sucks.
4:49p – I thought I was going to be picking Skip up today and taking him to Waterloo to get his State ID, but he arranged to have Brian give him a ride instead. That saved me some gas as well as wear on my car and its sickly CV joint and smoking motor. Meanwhile, I fixed my self some batter fried chicken strips and broccoli and steamed the last of my fresh green beans for lunch. I watched the recent production of "Beowulf" which is completely animated, but is very well done. Soon we are not going to be able to tell when the movie is animated at the rate the are developing the art!
THURSDAY - March 13, 2008 1:17p – I went to bed fairly early last night, around midnight I think. I thought I would be getting up early today, but I slept until nearly 12:30p. 1:57p – I called our mechanic, "Peewee," just now. He is closed until April. Will hopefully be "open" again as of the first of the month. There go my vague plans for getting the car fixed during my time off. Oh well... I don't have money to get it fixed anyway. Today was cooler than yesterday, but it was still a fairly nice day. I spent more time catching up things on the internet. I finally got my Cherokee Arts challenge out ... due out on the 7th... but, oh well! I picked Skip up around 4:45p and we we to the Dollar Store where I picked up some oil, candles, chicken bouillon, and other items. Then we went to Schnuck's and picked up some stuff to make meatloaf for supper tonight. The meatloaf...
The gravy...
... and mashed
potatoes...
11:22p – I have sampled some of the meatloaf. It tastes really good! Skip has complimented me on my cooking for two days in a row now. That is impressive! He is usually VERY critical. I feel pleased with myself!
FRIDAY - March 14, 2008
12:48a – I have stuffed myself on a good supper, and now I am off to bed. One more day of work... then I have 8 days off. I wish it were the end o my employment with Convergys. I hate this place...so much...
SATURDAY - March 15, 2008
4:43a – I am off to bed. I hope to sleep in very late tomorrow! 12:33p – I didn't. Up around 11:30. I have something in my eye this morning. It is causing me a lot of pain. I've flushed it with Similasan, then took a shower. It's still agonizing. I sat in the living room with a shirt draped over my head to block out the light for a while. My eye finally started to feel a little better. I think maybe whatever got in it finally found its way out again. Skip and I went out to eat this afternoon. We decided to try a new place. New to us anyway. I've seen it many times, and the name has always intrigued me, "Carlos O'Kelly's." (I have been calling it "Carlos O'Riley's" but I was corrected by the waitress!).
I could not help but to think of Rubydancingmoon while reading the menu. The place has little to do with the Irish "O'Kelly" and is primarily a Mexican restaurant. Unlike most Mexican restaurants however, this one had lots of reference to the Native American influence which is much of what traditional Mexican food is.
I decided to try their "Navajo Tacos" made with frybread. This is the only restaurant I've ever seen (at least, out here in the mid-West) which has frybread! They even had a desert dish which employed frybread, dusted with powdered sugar, and scoop of ice-cream on top...
Another touch which was definitely more "Native American" than "Mexican" were the chandeliers which were made from deer antlers.
I don't think Rubydancingmoon would have like the food all that much (they don't have bangers & mach on frybread! lol...), but I think she would love to see all these little signs of Native American cultural influence.
The booths were very comfortable and relatively private. The corn chips were about the best of any place I have gone... very light and fluffy, yet strong enough to dip with. The salsa was fresh, flavorful and tasty, but not quite as piquant as Skip and I are used to. It could have had a bit more bite! So... I got the Navajo Taco, and it was WAY more than I could eat. I did not even eat half of it. I hope it heats up well, since it will be my supper tonight!
Skip got some kind of burrito platter, with chicken and beef burritos. I am not sure what it was called, but they made a very nice presentation of it...
We left Carlos O'Kelly's and went across the street to "Sports Authority." Skip wanted to look at some paintball products. I found a section with skates, but all the quality skates were the "in-line" variety. There was a smaller selection of ice skates, and then an pathetic selection of proper roller skates. The had a couple of pairs of speed skates on display for around $50. One cheapy pair of quasi-dance skates. Nothing like what I would even consider buying. I mostly waited on Skip to finish looking around, and tried to make some dumb jokes about the deer scents and lures. We left there and headed out in search of the Target store. I took a round-about way to get there, and was sort of lost for a ways, but I finally came out into an intersection I realized (and realized I was going the opposite direction from what I thought I was!). We made it to Target where Skip looked for a new pair of dress pants for his upcoming trip to Wisconsin. He couldn't find anything in his size though, so he did not buy any at all. I found some DVD-R (50 pack) on sale from $19.99 down to $13.99 which seemed like a very good deal (and I am getting low on DVD's). I picked them up but upon check out I handed the cashier a $20 and she says it was 21-something. Ꮂ? I called her on this and spent about 10-15 minutes getting a price check and finally finding out that the DVD's that I had (Imation™) were not the ones on sale, it was the Memorex™ brand. That was fine with me... I would choose the more well known Memorex™ over Imation™ any day, anyway... ). So, we finally headed home, but had to make our customary stop at Q-Mart. Then Skip remembered he had to buy cat food for Barnabas, and I remember there was a sale on beer at Schnuck's, so he bought his beer and we headed over to Schnuck's. I saved about $6 on my beer purchases for next few days (I know, I need to stop drinking so much beer...), and I decided to pick up another slab of corned beef. This will be the first year that Skip and I do not celebrate St. Patrick's day together in about 6 or 7 years now. It's one of the few holidays that we have always "done" together and one of the only times we stop and give respect to our Irish ancestors instead of our Amerindian ones. Every year, Schnuck's has a sale in March on corned beef, and cabbage. I usually buy several slabs of the low priced corned beef, but it is very fatty and it seems half of it has to be cut away (or spit out). I bought a slab of the cheap Schnuck's corned beef a couple days ago. You can see how fatty it looks...
I got the better quality corned beef by "Shenson" today to fixed for Monday's St. Patty's day meal. See how much more lean it looks? Granted, it costs more, but I think it will be better quality and I won't have to dispose of a bunch of wasted fat...
So, this was how I spent day ONE of my "eight day vacation in Cahokia" ... lol... 8:17p – We have a change in plans. Skip is going to go to the store in the morning and pick up some grocery items, and we are going to celebrate our Celtic side tomorrow. He will put the corned beef on to cook and we will have potatoes and cabbage. It is good. 8:56p – I just finished creating a very basic site for Marty, for his (our) camping group site. He is out camping in his fancy new camper today, but I could not join them. I am sure it would have been much fun and I could have taken many festive photos. Tomorrow is our monthly Esperanto meeting in University City. I think I will not be able to attend though, since I will be sharing an early St. Patrick's day with Skip here at home before he leaves on his trip. 10:11p – I just set up a bunch of dishes in the sink to be washed, and I put my leftover "Navajo Taco" in the oven on low heat. I am sure the lettuce will not fair well, but I hope the over all dish is ... "Okay" ... 11:48p – My "re-heated" food was not too bad. I am off to bed now. I am taking my camera with me tonight to try to record some of my dreams.
SUNDAY - March 16, 2008 5:18p – I went to bed before Skip last night. I got up around 3:00a to go to the bathroom and the TV was blaring and the lights were all on in the kitchen. I guess he is not used to me going to bed so early.
I got up this morning around 11:20a and Skip already had the corned beef baking and the potatoes were about done. We ate our St. Patty's day meal around 1:30p while watching the movie, "Without a Paddle." (We've both seen it before, but it was funny).
5:33p – I have some peat pots soaking and am getting ready to try to get some tobacco plants to grow from the seeds I got from Chaz.
67:43p – We broke out Skip's new "Yard o Beer" glasses tonight. He fill his with Killian's Red, while I just had my cheap old Busch light. The beer beer tasted awful from these plastic containers, so I was glad to finish off the first one so I could wash away the taste of plastic with the some fresh beers!
I had to have Skip take my picture holding my "barbells" ...
6:56p – Today has been cool and slightly overcast, but mostly a nice day. Better than yesterday (but not as nice as the day before). Anyway, it's starting to get chilly out, so I am closing the windows.
MONDAY - March 17, 2008 1:19a – I am off to bed! 10:15a – I just got back from taking Skip to the train. He is on his way to Wisconsin now. He is not due back until Thursday. It's going to be strange here by myself. I stopped by Schnuck's on the way home and picked up some ingredients to make some sausage gravy and biscuit for first meal. It is a nasty day out there. Raining, with occasional flashes of lightning, and very dark. Very dismal. I've been working on Calisa's website tonight. It's coming along pretty good. 7:32a – I just fed Barnabas and sent Skip an message saying "THE PISS MONSTER HAS BEEN FED!" 9:42p – I am going to go try to find something to cook for supper now. 9:56p – I just took out some garbage. It's raining. The weather remains nasty. I have separated some pork steaks from the sliced pork butt I bought a couple of days ago. I put most of it in the freezer outside. I am going to cook the two I have remaining, I think. 10:26p – I took the remaining biscuits from this morning's meal and ground them up, and breaded two pork steaks with the crumbs. 10:47p – The storming progresses... and thunder is now reverberating outside... 11:14p – Tonight was one of those rare times in which I felt the need to break out the sage and cleanse my spirit with the smoke. I do not do this often, but I needed it tonight. I should have gone outside to do this... but the rain is cold ... 11:49p – Supper was excellent, and "stuffing." I am headed off to bed now. Very early for me. It's almost Daddy's birthday. He would be 82 years old! Wow...
TUESDAY - March 18, 2008
2:48p – My email has been all messed up this morning. I figured out why. Yesterday I resumed receiving mail from Click-a-Tubes. I had discontinued receiving email from them because every time one particular member would send material, my email would hang up on her emails. It would crash and repeat. The emails that it managed to download would continue to re-download and create duplicates. I had to go out to the server and move all the emails from that person to the SAVED folder. Almost immediately my webmail downloaded and the problem cleared up. So, I have had to return to the group and again disable receiving emails from them. That is unfortunate since they have a lot of good material in that group that I will miss. 3:45p – I am so bored. Still sitting here in front of my computer. Bored, bored, bored. 6:15p – I watched the movie "Skin Walkers." It was okay. Another twist on the werewolf story. Then I took that movie and one other to Block Buster (in the pouring rain) and traded them for a couple of new ones. That kept me occupied for a few minutes. Tomorrow I need to try to start cleaning up the living room. Again. Skip has managed to totally trash it. Again. 6:59p – I just had a nice chat with Rubydancingmoon for the first time in quite a while. I've really missed our conversations, but her health is more important. 7:44p – The rain is still coming down. I need to feed Barnabas. I have not seen him all day come to think of it. Barnabas was in the living room. I fed him, but he is not very happy with Skip "missing."
WEDNESDAY - March 19, 2008 Barnabas expressed his feeling by peeing in the bathroom floor... which I stepped in the dark, of course. At least it was not on cloth, and I understand he is stressed with Skip out of town. 2:41p – I got up earlier today, around 11:30a. The rain came down all night, and continued after I got up. It finally stopped a couple of hours ago. I have been wasting away another day. I watched the movie, "The Seeker" (which I just finished watching), and fixed another batch of biscuits and sausage gravy. 3:44p – I am pooped! I just got up the energy to go wash and wax the car. I even scrubbed the rims and put Armor-All on the tires. I am shaking like a leaf from the exertion, which is pathetic, but it feels good to get something done. I saw an eagle fly over and ran in to grab my camera. It was a huge eagle, and I ran ... but it was no where to be seen when I got back out with the camera. I was only a minute... but that's all it took. So, I took pictures of the freshly washed car. I sure needed it!
3:59p – Next, I think I will go down to the Goodwill store and see if they have a tea pot. 6:22p – Well, Goodwill appears to be closed. I don't know if it is for good, or for remodeling. I walked over to the Family Dollar Store and looked around. I picked up some pepper, soda, and a couple of $2 cologne knock-offs, then stopped by Q-Mart and back home. At least I got out of the house today. This "vacation" is proving to be fairly crappy, sitting here at home, in the rain, alone, bored. 11:16p – Skip just called from Wisconsin. He has had a good learning experience, but the visit "experience" has not bee so good. He sounds like he will be glad to get home. Meanwhile, I have a chuck eye steak in the oven and am warming up some left over cabbage from the other day. Skip should be home around 7-ish tomorrow. Barnabas will be so glad to see him! 11:52p – I am just sitting down to my steak & cabbage meal. The movie is kind of slow so far, but ... we will give it time.
THURSDAY
- March 20, 2008
12:03a – I am just now off to eat... hope its good!! 1:32a – Just took a hot shower and I am off to bed now. Skip will be home tomorrow. Barnabas will be very relieved; he is stressing over Skip's absence big time. I will be happy he is home too, just because I am so lonely and bored.
11:33a – Just got up. As usual, I had lots of wild and weird dreams, but one of them mentioned a specific address: 1204 Downing Street. I don't know where this is, but it sounds like some address in London, England.
8:21p – Earlier, I drove over to Schnuck's and picked up a sliced ham for dinner tonight, and some green beans with a can of cream of celery to go with. I have a couple of yam, and will bake them too. Then I went by the newly built Captain D's and got a fish dinner. (I forgot how greasy their food is!). I also sent out a resume for a Help Desk position, and then went to pick Skip up from the train. We got home about 7:45p.
FRIDAY
- March 21, 2008 12:25a – I have made a wonderful Ostara meal, though I am not getting around to eating it until the next day. I've made sliced baked ham, sweet potatoes with butter and brown sugar, and fresh green means with bacon, in cream of celery sauce (including fresh celery). Off to eat now! 12:57a – Wow... that was one of the best meals I have cooked in ages! I am so full. There is still a lot of ham and green beans left, but I ate all the sweet potato up. While eating, I began watching the old first run series of "Lost in Space" ... which used to be my all time favorite show. It was probably my first favorite program! Anyway... off to bed now. Just two more days left of my "forced vacation" ... and most of them were spent in a deluge <sigh>. 12:13p – I just got up. Lots of wild dreams last night. I kept dreaming about Kira in one sequence, but I knew she she was dead, so I went to my sisters and told them about it. I kept telling them this has to be a dream, because I know Kira is dead. I also told this to Mom (though I seemed not to remember that she is no longer alive either). There was a point where I was going to open a window, but I stopped and said, "Wait! Since this is a dream, I should be able to open the window without touching it..." And I proceeded to open the window by waving my hand at it. Also in my dreams I had been driving a car, a Camaro maybe, light blue in color. I parked the car down town for some party even (like Marti Gras), and could not remember where I parked it. I kept looking for my car off and on throughout all the other dream sequences.
SATURDAY
- March 22, 2008 12:43a – Supper was very good. Skips tri-tip steaks were very tasty. My vegetable side dishes were possibly better than the mean dish, which is not usual. Plus, I am really enjoying the side snacks of spicy peanuts! 12:59a – Skip is just now heading off to bed... 2:16a – I am off to bed now... 9:13a – And up early. I think. I was not sleeping, so I decided to get up. This is my last day off, so I should try to get the most out of it. But now that I am out of bed, I am feeling all sleepy again. 4:04p – We went to Soulard Market this afternoon. I picked up some vegetables, including some raw peanuts. I was going to get some spices, but the spice shop was so packed and I did not feel like taking a number a waiting. We went over to Star Bucks and got a coffee, then headed back across the water. Stopped by Schnuck's, the Dollar Store and Q-Mart. I sat in the car for these stops, since I didn't need anything.
The stuffed chilis were a creation by Skip and VERY delicious! Our family must have some kind of "Chef" gene! He got it in full force. (I am not too bad myself, but I love other people's creations!)
SUNDAY
- March 23, 2008 11:40a – I dozed off and on from about 5:00a until 11:00a, dreading having to get up and go to work. I was having lots of short "controlled" dreams. I seem to be having more dreams lately in which I am aware that I am dreaming and can influence events. In last night's dreams, I was mostly controlling people's behavior, rather than levitating, or manipulating object 'telekinetically.' I need to go make a bite to eat now, and shower and such. I dread going back to work. Y'edm' aapkiip' aavye, "The Bee Movie" aanj' evdse ch'uut DVD uutede. I spent most of the day on floor support, not going on phones until around 11:00p. I finally started using Comtrac today. It's a pain, but I managed. Marlene called me tonight, worried about the flooding in our area. She caught me just as I went to lunch. Good timing.
MONDAY
- March 24, 2008 2:55a – I am home from my first day of work in eight days. I feel drained. I just don't know how I can keep on doing this. Today I notice my face is breaking out in some kind of rash. Red blotches, with some flaking. I have started growing my mustache back, and that area seems very affected. I think my immune system is getting weaker. I have a ward growing back on my right thumb. It went away after I started taking meds in 2002, but ... now its coming back. Not a good sign. 4:28a – I was going to go to bed without fixing any food... but I changed my mind and made a quick soup from one of yesterday's chili peppers. I think I will be going in late tomorrow. 12:10p – I feel terrible. I think going back to work hours was a shock to my system. I slept badly and had so many unsettling dreams. There was another dream with Kira. Actually, there were a lot of dogs. At one point, I went out to a kennel and Kira was being kept in there with other dogs (and a lot of puppies). I called her out to come join me (she did not belong in there). There was a very tiny, little baby chicken in the kennel also, hiding in some kind of a hole. It came out and I scooped it up, thinking the dogs would find it to be a nice little snack. I was carrying the chick with me and it pooped on me. Then it spat up poop. Darlene was there, and she was telling me I should not be carrying the chick around, and it started to get messier. The chick started leaking albumen all over my hands. It was getting very gross. I am not sure if the dream ended there, or if I just forget... 12:16p – Anyway, I am going to go in late today. I am thinking soon I will need to pick up some FMLA papers. I've got to do something. I called in late, but I left comparatively early so I could drive by the Water Department and pay the bill. I was due today. I also got another $300 paid on the oppressive electric bill, got the satellite bill caught up and the gas bill paid. I still have a stack of bills to pay, but at least I got some of the main ones done. I had to slam on the brakes and burn rubber twice today. Once on the way in to work, driving down 70; and one driving home down an unfamiliar street (trying to find a gas station). A stop sign seemingly leaped out in front of me! lol... Marlene called me at work today. She was worried about all the flooding in our area... bless her heart. I was just going to lunch, so was able to answer her call and chat for a short spell. I took phones calls all day today. I think I took 29 calls if the system recorded correctly. That's the most I've taken in a while. I don't know what Skip cooked tonight, but the house smelled like rotten meat had been burned. I put on some oil fragrance. I guess it smells better now, but maybe I am inured.
TUESDAY
- March 25, 2008
The trip home tonight was stressful. I was going to stop for gas. The tank being on empty, and all. Well, I forgot and, out of relfex, I headed home and got stuck on East 70. I finally found an exit (in wha seemed to be a bad neighborhood) and stopped for fuel. (Another $47.00! ... gas is TOO high!). 3:05a – I have a small chuck steak in the oven. Just got through watching an episode of Torchwood (I love that series!). 4:30a – Off to bed. Again, later than I would like. 11:39a – I am up again, and again I feel like crap, but I am going to make it to work on time. I can't keep being late. 1:28p – I feel better. Had some spicy soup and watched another episode of "Charmed." Now I am rushing to get out the door. Once again hoping the car holds up. There was a roll-over accident on I-70 on the way to work. Fortunately, it was on the other side of the road, East bound. I saw the car. It was right side up, but pretty banged up. They closed that entire side of the interstate before I exited on 170. I took calls for a while today, then went into floor support. That was slow at first, then became ridiculous. I took lunch about 10:50p. I don't think I ever even took my last break! Oops.
WEDNESDAY
- March 26, 2008
4:15a – The ride home was uneventful. That means the car has not broken down. Yet. 4:51a – I am about to go eat... but I should be going to bed REAL soon! 4:56a – I am an hour past my "normal" bedtime. I have just dumped some leftovers out on the "bird tray." I have a soup concocted of chicken and vegetables & spices waiting to be consumed. I need to go do that stuff now... 5:20a – I just paused an episode that I have not seen of "The 4400" and am headed to bed. Two days off! <sigh> ... like ... "yay" ... :) 11:48a – I am up. So sleepy though. I went to bed late, so I should have slept at least until 1:00p, but I was just laying there. I turned off the heat and opened the windows. I set my sprouts out on the back porch to get some light. I started filling out my job application online with Wash U around 3:30p today. There is a job I want to apply for which starts off at abound $14.23/hr. Skip called and I went to pick him up about 4:30p. We stopped by Dollar Store and Q-Mart on the way home. (It is pouring down rain again!). I got home and continued filling out the online application for the job. It took a total of about 3 hours between 3:30p and 6:45p. I finally got it all done, including the upload of my resume and cover letter. Then I submitted another application for an Administrative Assistant position. I battered and fried a couple of pork chops for supper, and (new idea) I batter fried some brussel sprouts! They were awesome. I made some black & white pasta to to go with it all.
THURSDAY
- March 27, 2008 12:20a – Supper was very good. Now... I am off to bed. 11:56a – I made it out of bed before noon! ...barely. I discovered that the email message from Washington University in response to my application for their advertised position contained not only my "reference number" ... but my rejection letter. After spending about 2 hours tediously and meticulously filling out all the required information, upload my resumes, submitting my references, detailing my education ... here is the response, which was automatically generated and came back to me in just a couple of minutes...
No one even had a chance to see my application. It was just rejected by the computer. I know I am qualified, even by the standard they specify, which I easily exceed. I am baffled as to why this would happen and cannot help but to wonder if I have somehow been "black listed" by WU? So far, all of my experiences with them since getting "laid off" leans in that direction. I know my skills are more than adequate, so maybe it has to do (once again) with my having filed FMLA with them? That is supposed to be illegal, but I have no confidence that this would stop them. I hate to say that, but that is how I feel. 10:02p – It rained more last night and today. I put the can back under the leak in the bedroom. Skip had me pick him up from Falling Springs and Hwy 157 today. He has to go in early tomorrow, so I got the frozen meatloaf from a week or two ago and thawed it out. I had no milk, so I had to make the instant mashed potatoes and gravy all with water, but... I think it will be edible. It smells good at any rate! 10:22p – It has begun to pour down rain, with thunder and lightning again. I love thunderstorms. The experience is always so elemental. 10:30p – Brrr! That was a chilling experience. I went out front with the camera and tried taking some video shots of the storm. I just managed to freeze my butt off! 10:38p – Hmm... the storm seems to have passed already. That was fast! FRIDAY
- March 28, 2008 12:06a – The rain is pouring down and thunder blasting across the skies... 12:33a – I am off to bed now, but I have such a sweet tooth! I am craving fruit. Or something sweet. I will survive, I guess. Off to be now thought. Work again tomorrow. I had an interesting experience last night (more accurately, this morning). I woke up around 4:30a and could not get back to sleep. I lay in bed trying to get myself to go back to sleep again, but I remained wide awake. I have a couple of methods of trying to go to sleep. One is an ongoing fantasy story which I resume every night and build upon in an ongoing "saga." The story line has changed over the years, but I have been employing this trick for decades to entertain myself when sleep evades me. More recently, I have begun to employ another technique in which I focus on what I call my "dream screen" and try to see and interpret images I see there. This is tricky. Sometimes I cannot make out anything at all. Usually I can make out images and see faces, objects, or other things. Sometimes I managed to see things even more clearly and even have sound and color. Last night I was trying this mental trick and and managed to throw myself into what was either a complete dream, or maybe it was some kind of clairvoyance, or astral projection. At first I saw simple shapes and images, then I started to see more clear images. I seemed to be in a vehicle traveling on a roadway. I could see other vehicles around me. They seemed to be a bit "off" ... not normal. I got the impression I was in another country. I remember one particular car that went by which was a very rich purple in color. Another vehicle came up from behind us. It was a simple a plain car, but I noticed it had a blue license tag in front with white or maybe yellow lettering. As we traveled along, I saw many buildings and such along the way, none of which were remarkable in any way. I do remember that we crossed what seemed to be a bridge. I remember there seemed to be trellises and the light was flickering as we traveled over this bridge. I can't remember the details (which suggests I was merely dreaming), but if this was a mere dream, it was one of the most pointless ones I have ever had. We were just traveling down a road seeing the passing traffic, building and scenery. I felt like I was somewhere else. I am going to try to focus on this "technique" and see if I can evoke more such excursions (or dreams). Before leaving for work, I checked the mail. I had a package from Koga ... my Cherokee White-Eagle corn has arrive! I had forgotten about that. I did not really think he would send it, but he did and I am once again reminded that the Cherokee community is REALLY and TRULY about "gifting." They say it a lot, but I just keep on experiencing it! I am feeling guilty, in fact. I must do my part and send some gifts to all the people who have sent me gifts. I think I will send them copies of my SPIRIT JOURNEY'S DVD. I have made one for Anita Cole already. I need to make one for Koga and Chaz. I got to work on time. I was told that Chris (my former classmate and current Team Lead) needed to see me. I expected I was going to be getting a "verbal" for absences. I turned out he needed to get a recording of one of my calls for the record. I took a couple of calls, he listened in, and all was well. I did floor support until 7:00p and promptly went on the phones. I had one very strange call from cjoyinternetradio.com. The caller was not only hosting a live religious radio program, but he was completely blind, and so was his wife. The call went on for 45 minutes, though I had determined right in the beginning that it was an OEM issue. It was quite a fiasco.
SATURDAY - March 29, 2008 3:17a – I am catching up my journal and playing episodes of "Lost in Space" here on the computer. I love this old series. This was my favorite program when I was a child. Watching it as an adult, I am appalled at the crudity, the bad acting, the technical inaccuracies, ... yet I still love this old series (with the exception of loving to hate Dr. Smith!). 3:33a – I am currently watching season one, episode 3, "Island in the Sky."
I thing I shall go to bed now... with no supper. I am a bit depressed and ... 3:55a – Well... off to bed I go. I will be hungry in the morning! 12:00p – I was up before 11:00a. And yes, I am famished! I tried my "astral projection" trick again several times last night, but I could not seem to get my "dream screen" working. I picked up a few vague shapes, but that was about it. Maybe I was trying too hard. 12:28p – I got the stove cleaned and took a shower. I even braided my hair. I think I am getting better at it.
SUNDAY - March 30, 2008
I got up around 9:00a this morning (after laying awake, for the most part, since 6:15a when I first awoke). I fixed a bite to eat after making sure Skip did not have his heart set on going out to eat. I felt I had spent MORE than enough yesterday, personally, He was in agreement. Around noon, we went just down the road to see about getting his hair cut. "Paradise Clips" was closed, however, and we did not feel like expending the gas or wear & tear on my failing car to go further. He will get a hair cut later. We went by the Goodwill store. The are still closed, but will be opening up sometime in April (I forget the date). We went to the Walgreen's story (down here in Cahokia). I was looking for a new shower mirror. They did not have one. We stopped by Popeye's Chicken where Skip bought some lunch. Then we ran by Q-Mart so Skip could buy some beer. Then we came home. I was so tired (having gotten up so early ... for me). I took a nap of about 2 hours (with the usual weird dreams). When I got up, I felt better. The long nap did me good and once I got woke up again, I had a bit of energy. I took the Cherokee White-Eagle corn out to the patio, with my gourd rattle, sage and ceremonial feather, and proceeded to bless the corn, as well as the sacred tobacco which I have growing.
10:48p – I finally got the corn planted in the peat pots. I planted 24 of the yellow kernels, and 25 of the purple ones. I don't know if this will make a difference in the final product, but it is an interesting experiment. 11:59p – I need to figure out what I am going to have for "supper" tonight.
MONDAY - March 31, 2008 1:38a – I just finished performing a heartfelt private ceremony recognizing many of the things, events and people who have meaning for me on this day. Myself who joined the US Navy on the 30th and was discharged on the 31st. Nikki's Mom, who passed away on the 31st. Doug Cross, who passed on the 31st. And all my friends in the Cherokee on-line community who have sent me gifts, and brought spiritual inspiration to my life. I hope I don't sound silly or hokey in my presentation. I meant it... every word. I have still to compile everything together, but I just hope it comes out with as much respect and honor as intended. 3:09p – I was sick this morning. Weak and shaky. I feel better now, but I am still shaking. I am going in to work late, but what else can I do? I am so tired. Always tired it seems. I am shaking so much I am having trouble typing. I spent the entire day in floor support. |
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