Today would have been my mother's 63rd birthday. It is sad that she died at age 46 on 4/29/84. I lived at Laurel Hills Apartments in Pine Hills, Florida back then.

Today I watched half of the movie "Volcano" with Stephanie (next door). Then I came home & fixed lunch and cleaned up a little. I went back at 1:00 pm (or a little after) and Steph and I proceeded with our daily routine of watch Days of our Lives.

I made some major updates to my web page today.

Chad went freakazoid on me this evening. I put on my old Klingon head piece and come out into the living room. His dog, Trixie, freaked out and started barking at me. It was funny... I calmed her down.... but Chad went berserk! I had the phone and was going to dial 911! He was throwing things at me and threatening my life (once again!). I can’t wait to get out of here. I don't want to lose everything, but I DO want to get my life back on track

THURSDAY - May 11, 2000

Today was nothing special. I was able to get 2 boxes packed for my move on June 7th. I cooked a pork loin and some asparagus for lunch and finished watching "Volcano" with Stephanie. As usual, we watched "Days of our Lives." Sammy is getting mushy with Brandon... Stephano is being his usual devious self (and his daughter, Alexandra, is staring to show her Demura blood!) Cloie is revealing all to Belle and either Philip or Shawn T. is going to ask her to the prom (I hope its Shawn). Speaking of "Soaps..."

I watched the movie "Soap Dish" (with Sally Field and Whoopi Goldberg) again today. I haven't seen it in a long time.

Something (I guess it was a dog... probably Brandi) pulled my ENTIRE computer off of my desk while ago! My printer was spun around on its stand; my microphone was unplugged and strewn across the room! I was NOT a happy camper. Fortunately, everything seems to be fine.

My herbs are growing up nicely! My beans have all sprouted. My flowers are also growing (hollyhocks, African Daisy, Coleus, Delphiniums and Zinnias. The Poppies appear  to have died). My one remaining Florida Nelson Rose (Tropicana) is doing great with all the attention I've been giving it. It has about 20 new branches growing on it!

Such a shame I shall be leaving them all behind

FRIDAY - May 12, 2000

Today was fairly mundane. Putter & Stephanie (next door neighbors) packed up and head up toward the panhandle for the weekend. They didn't take their big boat, they borrowed someone's small boat. I have to go over and check their rabbit's water tomorrow. (If I can remember!)

I didn't get anything packed today. Now I have to pack 2 boxes to stay on my 1-box-per-day schedule.

I encountered the web site Zing.com and upload pictures to a "Klingon" album.

Charlane, the lady who works for the City of Deltona, stopped by today. She is still trying to find a home for Minya (aka "Puddles"), the fat little poodle mix that Michael Salvato left with me last summer. I still don't know what I am going to do with Thor. I am worried sick about that. I have had Thor for 13 years... I can't bear the thought of dropping him off at "The Pound." I am praying that Jodi will take care of him.

SATURDAY - May 13, 2000

Boring ... boring... boring!

That was today.

What did I accomplish today: (zero)

I watched the movie "Bushwhacked." I thought it would be amusing, but "ho, hum." It was better than I thought. Then I put in the movie "The Deep." I thought it would be a thriller (I think I have seen it before). What I watched was SO boring. I had to stop it. Then I started watching "City of Joy" (Patrick Swayze), but got too drunk. Had to go to bed!

I have a LOT of rose buds getting ready to bloom. Since I have been giving exceptional attention to my Florida Nelson Rose bush, it has been doing REALLY well. It has put out about 20 new shoots! One of them alone has 3 buds on it! I am amazed at what can be accomplished when one focuses!

Chad got a money order for $50 to give to the utility co. on Friday. I have it, but I have no way to get to the place to pay! I hope they don't turn it off! Hopefully I an get a ride on Monday.

I checked the rabbits' water twice today. One cage needed water and I fixed that right up.

Tomorrow is Sunday...I can't WAIT to see what excitement awaits!!!!!!

SUNDAY - May 14, 2000

Another BORING day. I didn't accomplish a thing. Chad and I sat here watching TV last night while munching on anything and everything. I am getting SO FAT!

I hate MOTHER'S DAY. Mom passed away on 4/29, buried on 5/5, her birthday is 5/10 and this year mother's day is the14th. One painful reminder after another.

LEE’S DREAMS: Last night was another night of strange dreams. I recall one fragment of a dream that seemed to be more like a memory; but not MY memory. This has been happening with increasing frequency of late.

In this dream, I was one of several young children. I had this feeling that we were in come place like ancient Greece or Rome. We were wearing something like togas and were playing on a beautiful outdoor patio. It seemed to be some sort of party. There were stone or marble benches. We were playing a game. A game I have never heard of. I think we called it "Chappa, Choppa, Haffa." The object of the game was for one child to choose 3 items at varying heights. One item was down low (choppa), one item was high (choppa) and one item was halfway in between (haffa). All of the kids were running around pointing at things and shouting one of these word to the child who was "it" (for lack of a better term). If someone got it right, the child who was "it" responded with the appropriate word. I am not sure what happened after that. It did not seem like my memories!

MONDAY - May 15, 2000

Another BORING day. But at least I got something accomplished. I took a $50 money order down and paid a portion of the utility bill. They are due another $111.52 by next Friday. I hope Chad can pay it! If not, we're out of electricity (again). Chad is going to be short this week, too, since he didn't go to work this morning.

LEE’S DREAMS: Last night I dreamt that Kira and I were traveling in a hot air balloon. We were both scared silly and hunkered down in the basket. She got up one and peered over the side. I was afraid she might jump... we were thousands of feet up... so I held her foot. But she saw all she wanted to see and lay back down next to me.

TUESDAY - May 16, 2000

I got 2 more boxes packed today (its 4pm now).

MOVIES & VIDEOS: Stephanie and I started watching "Bone Collector" this morning, but ran out of time... I had to go home and fix lunch so I could be back in time to watch "Days of Our Lives." (I am hooked on a soap opera!). Last night Chad and I watch "Evil Dead 2" ... I realized I had seen it before. It had a lot of wild special effects, but was really pretty stupid. New movies on my agenda to watch next are "The General's Daughter," "Elizabeth." And I have one movie to 'review' ... "The Craft."

I talked to Jodi today. I am still hoping she will be able to watch Thor for me until I an send for him. Otherwise, I don't know what I will do.

12:09: I cooked a pot-roast for supper and Chad and I watched at least part of an oldie but goodie, starring the McKenzie brother's (Rick Morranis and Dave Thomas), in "Strange Brew."

LEE’S DREAMS: Last night was a full of half remembered fragments. The thing that stands out in my dreams of last night, was something about a Mall. I large, hi-tech, futuristic looking Mall. Many stories high. There was a place with candy; a candy store or factory. At some point in the dream the candy "place" was moved to the opposite end of the Mall. The entire dream seemed to be in black & white with hints of green (I usually dream in full colour).

WEDNESDAY - May 17, 2000

I haven't written anything for today yet. Check yesterday. (It's 12:11am now and I am watching Star Trek:TNG.

THURSDAY - May 18, 2000

I LOST SERVICE TO MY ISP TODAY. NO FURTHER ENTRY UNTIL MAY 25th.

THURSDAY - May 25, 2000

Today I was able to get on-line again for just long enough to download one of those "free internet" programs. I was skeptical.... never trust "free" anything. But it seems to be true. There is some advertising at the bottom of the screen that I have to tune out, but it really free!

Monday night I got some good news! Charlane, a very nice lady who works for the City of Deltona has been looking for a home for my 2 dogs, Thor and Minya, that I will have to leave behind when I move (in 2 weeks!).

Minya I have had for about a year. She is about 5-8 years old, white, poodle mix. I took her in on the request of a friend, but I did not raise her. She is the only dog that I have ever had that I did not raise from a puppy.

Thor I have had for 13 years! I was 29 when I got him as a furry little bundle of Lhasa Apso from the Orange County Humane Society in Orlando. He is nearly blind and deaf, but he is still able to take care of himself. He always goes to the door and barks to be let outside. I let him out unattended. He finds his way around the yard by following the side walk or the garden hose. He will spend sometimes up to an hour outside all by his self, then he will bark to be let back in. He is a foul tempered old coot these days, but I love him. It is going to be so painful for me to leave him behind, but the people who are taking him in understand that it is my intention to get him back as soon as I get myself situated in St. Louis. This could take up to a year. I don't know, of course.

I was concerned that I would have to dial a long distance number, but there are lots of local number... NO PROBLEM. AOL doesn't even have a local number here!

Last night my Aunt Marlene called me from Comanche, Texas. We spoke for about 4 hours! We split the bill, but ... whew! I learned to my shock that my biological father, Alvin Elroy ("Roy") Terrell, had passed away... 3 YEARS AGO!

FRIDAY - May 26, 2000

ANOTHER BORING DAY! Nothing of interest happened. Accomplished nothing useful. I will be glad when I can get situated with Jack & Adam up in St. Louis. Everything will be new and it should take a while before I ever get ingrained into another rut like THIS one!
Blah, blah, blah... Yadda, yadda!

LEE’S DREAMS: More weird dreams last night. First, I rode my bicycle (I don't have one) into some alley. In the alley, I found a bag with some kind of wire and/or rope. This I took over a put into the truck of my car (no car I am actually aware of). Then some other people came into the dream and things get a bit blurry. The next thing I know I am joining a group of people who are on their way to the Mall to ... check out? I told someone that I needed to go by Medina's restaurant (this actually exists in Orlando) and make sure I had no outstanding bills. We ended up on in some other place that reminded me of a City Permitting Department. There were a lot of us (I don't know who anyone was) and there was some confusion as to organize a line. (I remembered that I was behind a guy that looks like an older version Philip from Days of Our Lives). I some point, I realized that I was in the wrong place.... I was supposed to be at Medina's! Then we were headed back to the (van? bus?) vehicle we arrived in (I don't know what happened to my bicycle or car!). Now we were all wearing roller skates and skating through the Mall. ... wait ... NO ... everyone in the Mall was on roller skates. Halfway back, I turned around and was trying to find something that had something to do with Ireland. This was getting real vague, but I had to find this.... thing. I ended up at the other end of the Mall, talking to someone and had my skates off. Then I realized that my group was going to leave without me and started to feel panicky. I started trying to put my skates back on, but they kept sticking! I couldn't get my foot all the way in. I thought about just carrying them, but it was too far! They were going to leave me... I woke up in a panic.

SATURDAY - May 27, 2000

ANOTHER BORING DAY! Nothing of interest happened. Accomplished nothing useful. I will be glad when I can get situated with Jack & Adam up in St. Louis. Everything will be new and it should take a while before I ever get ingrained into another rut like THIS one!

Actually, diary, there is one thing I should mention for the record. Calisa (my sister) called me and we talked for about an hour.

S.S.D.D. !!!

LEE’S DREAMS: I was up all night & didn't get to bed until 7am this morning (why? Its Friday.) I slept for 2 or 3 hours ... no dreams (as bizarre as they've been lately, I am glad for the break!).

SUNDAY - May 28, 2000

I had an unexpected surprise today.... Chuck came up from Tampa. He was staying in Orlando, but he wanted to go to Daytona Beach and stopped by to pick me up. Last October (Halloween) I went to Tampa to visit him. Just before I got there, his brother fell off a ladder and broke his neck, so Chuck was very distracted (and I wasn't feeling very well, myself). So that visit didn't go quite like we planned. Then, in December, Chuck made it a point to drive all the way from Tampa to pick me up (over a 2 hour drive - one way) and take me back for New Years Eve 2000. This visit was better, but still didn't go quite like we planned; especially when Chuck had to drive me all the way BACK to Deltona! (Bless his heart; he'll never do THAT again)!

This visit... completely unplanned... was great. We walked along the Beach and talked about the old days. We both used to go to Daytona Beach back in 1978-79. It was much more fun then. Now there are huge hotels and other businesses marring the beach front and overshadowing the band shell, the clock tower and other old landmarks which once define the ambiance of Daytona Beach. We both hate to see all the commercialization that has ruined this "world famous beach." I think the moment that cinched it for us was when we saw a yuppie looking young man in a bathing suit standing out in the water on a cell phone! What next? Water proof lap tops!?

Later, we went to a couple of bars we've both known for years and had dinner at KFC. We both could smell the Colonel's chicken from blocks away and decided that's what we want to eat. However, we ended up driving all the way to Ormond Beach and back trying to find it!!!

We started to head home, but Chuck wanted to stop by an old haunt which had changed hands and is now called "Club Xes" (i.e., "Excess"). I am glad we did. It was a very nice bar that reminded us of the old days! The music was GOOD! We had a few MORE drinks and ended up staying to about 1:00 am! (We had originally planned on having me home by 5pm! ... NOT!)

ANYWAY... THIS WAS THE MOST FUN DAY I'VE HAD IN AGES!

LEE’S DREAMS: My dreams last night seemed to be "circus" oriented. I don't remember much except there was a trapeze artist who swung high in the air and began falling with his back toward the ground. He was holding his hands in different positions control his fall... I thought he was doing it all on purpose. Then I realized he must be falling to his death and I could see a look of terror in his face... just before he landed in the audience. All I could see of him were his hand's and feet sticking out from between two rows of theater style seats. His limbs twitched, then slithered out of sight. It was a VERY disturbing dream.

The second dream fragment I recall involved a tightrope walker. However, this tightrope walker did more than just a balancing act. He also recited poetry in a very theatrical and flamboyant style. It was Sean Connery! I had just watched The Highlander Part II in which Sean Connery played. This must have been part of the reason for the dream. He was even wearing the same costume and had his long gray hair pulled back into a pony tail.

MONDAY - May 29, 2000

So far the day has been back to the boring normal. Its only 11:44 though.

Tomorrow is my brother's birthday (Kenneth Terrell). He will be 44 years old! He lives in Moyock, NC. I have spoken with him in a while. I need to give him a call.

I just about completed my pet web page for Kira. My scanner doesn't work, so I couldn't upload a picture of her to the website, so I surfed the net till I found a picture of a dog that look almost like her.

LEE’S DREAMS: I had some weird dream(s) last night and started to get up and jot them down, but didn't. Now I can't remember them. Maybe they will come back to me later.

TUESDAY - May 30, 2000

This was basically another boring day. I should have worked on getting things packed, but was once again daunted, overwhelmed and subdued by the awesome task of trying to sort, pack and sift through over a decade of accumulated belongings (i.e., "junk").

Today is Kenneth's birthday. Ken is my only full sibling. We share the same mother (Colleen Lewis) and father (Alvin "Roy" Terrell). I just learned a few days ago in my conversation with my Aunt Marlene that Roy Terrell passed away about 3 years ago! This is my own biological father and no one bothered to tell me!!! I did not know him well, but I was saddened to learn of his death. I never got the opportunity get to know him.

I called Ken today to wish him a happy birthday, but he was at work. He still does not know that I am about to lose everything. I haven't spoken with him about it and he does not have internet access.
Since the last time I spoke to Kenneth, our grandmother (Mable Florence Helen (Dabbs) Shaw/Watts), also Ken's adopted mother (she raised him as such),and our natural father, Roy Terrell, have both passed away!
Marlene (Jones) Munoz/Pardue is now family elder. Kenneth and I "2nd Lieutenants" (so-to-speak). This makes me feel like we're right up there in the front line of those who are next in line to die!

I got a call from a lady in Tampa this morning. She is the lady who is offering to take Thor in. I was unable to catch the call (I thought it was Stephanie -next door- and was going to call her back. Then Charlane called and told me about the call. Char then called the lady in Tampa back.... then she call me back. She informed me that the husband of the lady in Tampa is having problems at work... he is going to have to relocate to North Carolina. As a result, he does not want them to take in Thor! Char is going to see if she can talk to them. He does not have to move to NC for another year yet. I hope to have myself situation by them and will be able to take Thor back. I hope they will understand. I am so worried about what will happen to Thor. He has been my "child" for more than a quarter of my life! I must find a place for him. He doesn't have many years left; I don't want his last days to be traumatic.

LEE’S DREAMS: I had many dreams last night and they were long and involved, but they have mostly evaporated! I hate that about dreams!! I need to set up a tape recorder next to my bed so I can make recordings of what I dreamed to stimulate my memory.

The only thing I can remember from last nights barrage of dreams was one excerpt in which I was riding on a school bus. The bus went a long way... maybe hours. I remember thinking I could have walked to the destination more quickly! I am not sure where "we" were located, but I think it may have been in Washington State somewhere near a town called Cunningham.

WEDNESDAY - May 31, 2000

Today was very traumatic for me. Charlane called me this morning and said that a young lady, Chelsea, from Tampa, was going to come pick up both Thor and Minya. Char cam over and helped me to bathe Minya. She was so dirty. I feel so bad about her condition, but I just haven't been able to take care of her the way a responsible owner should. On the other hand, I never asked for her in the first place.

Anyway, Thor had crawled under my bed, and when he does that you just LEAVE him until he decides to come out on his own. Meanwhile, I went out and got the old 'pet porter' and planned on cleaning it up for them to travel in. However, I just started to spray it down when I discovered ... THE WATER WAS SHUT OFF! Now I have no water. I have the money (only $24) but I have no way to go pay it. Well, needless to say, Thor did not get a bath. Neither have I! Chelsea got here about 2:30pm. She seems like a very nice person. I am sure she will give Thor and Minya a good home. She also wanted to take Chad's dog, Brandi, with her. I was not sure if I should do this or not. He had apparently spoken with Char about finding a home for her, but he hadn't really said anything to me about it. He doesn't know where he is going to go when I leave and doesn't know what he is going to do with his 2 dogs.

I know he would be upset if I let her take Trixie (his other dog), but I think he will understand (maybe even be grateful) that I let her take Brandi. She will have a good home now.

Meanwhile, I am still torn up about letting Thor go. I have had him all of his 13 years (except for the first 6 weeks of the life). I still can't believe he's gone. My goal is to get myself situated in St. Louis and then I will come back for him. That may take 6 months to a year... who knows. And Thor is old. I don't know if he has much time left. He could live another 5 years... or not.

I know I have done the right thing, but it hurts....