I slept soundly last night. I got up around 7:00a to let K-dog out and give her pills, then I went back to bed. I was getting cold though, so I got up and turned on the heat. Then (of course), it got too hot and I had to get up and turn the heat off again. I finally got up around 11:00a and fixed some mashed potatoes. I covered them in left of port gravy from last night and put in Skip movie (DVD) called "Godsend." It was a dark movie, but it was okay. Nothing fantastic. However, it was another of those movies perpetuating the idea that the process of "cloning" is "wrong" and turned it into some kind of horror story. I wonder if we will ever lie in a time where mankind is not so full of fears and superstition? I am fairly sure that I won't.

I had planned on mowing the lawn today, but JR & Marty took care of that for me. I am glad, because I just don't feel motivated to do much of anything. I think I will go to bed early again tonight and "power sleep" more. My body had just been a bit too run down here lately. I don't get enough exercise, I drink too much beer and I eat too much. These things are going to do me in and I know it. I have the best of intentions, but just can't get motivated to get up and *do* what I know must be done. It's very frustrating and I get aggravated with myself. It's like a disease. Maybe I have CFS? More likely I am just chronically lazy!

I went to bed early tonight, around 8:30p, but I didn't really get to sleep until about 11:00p.

TUESDAY – OCTOBER 12, 2004
View my Video Diary entry from 10-12-1990

7:30a – I woke up about 4:00a having a strange dream. I drempt something about Thor and thought he was still alive. I woke up with a terrible feeling of guilt that I have been forgetting to feed him! I was feeding Kira, but I keep forgetting to feed Thor! Then I realized that Thor has been gone for over four years now, but it took me a few moments of lying there in bed before I was sure I remembered correctly. I lay awake, tossing and turning for the next hour before finally dozing off again. I would wake & doze until time to get up. Fortunately, I have had so much sleep in the past day or two that it is okay. I feel pretty good this morning.

7:38a – It is dark and rainy out this morning. I continued to sleep with the windows open, and several times during the night the sound of the rain starting up again freaked me out before I realized what the sound was!

7:40a – Time to get moving and take my shower. I did laundry last night and fresh clothes are "fluffing" in the dryer now.

It has been a dreary day. I am glad (again) that I work inside. I spent most of the day entering in about 5 new user/equipment forms and did not even "log in" until I had to around lunch to cover Gary. Granted, I was not really putting myself into it, but I did not get these few forms finalized until about 2:00p. I wish they would listen to me... but, it's just not going to happen. Whatever. They will ultimately have to deal with it.

Lisa Z. picked up lunch for me at Hon's Wok today. My usual of General Tzo's Chicken.

I rushed out of the office to catch the train tonight, but the damn thing ran 2 minutes early! I got to the MetroLink at 5:59p just in time to see the train pull out. So, I caught the next one to Union Station, had a few beers and continued reading "The Redemption of Althalus" then caught the train again around 7:07p. The beer was making a very urgent presence by the time I got to 5th&Mo (which I expected), but the toilet was either occupied or jammed and I had to catch the bus. Of course, this was the 7:24p bus which takes the LONG route down Water Street. By the time I got to my stop my eyeballs were floating! I rushed home and was grateful to make it! By this time it was after 8pm and I had to put my chuck roast on to cook (much later than intended). I fed Kira then I had to walk back to Q-Mart. However, I only had $2 in cash on me and the 'machines were down' ... so I could not use my card! So, I walked over to Schnuck's and picked up some more groceries. My back was killing me by this time.

11:14p – Supper is about cooked (finally). I barely have an appetite, but I have my lunch fixed for tomorrow. I need to go to bed! It is way too late.

11:44p – Supper is consumed. Lunch is prepared. Breakfast of cottage cheese and pineapple is ready. I am so tired and tomorrow is likely to be a struggle. Off to bed. I hope DSL is back on tomorrow. I am so tired of this (and so is Skip!).

WEDNESDAY – OCTOBER 13, 2004

7:25a – I feel sick this morning, like I may have a mild fever. I wouldn't doubt it after running around in the cool wet weather with no jacket yesterday. I am so tempted to call in sick today, but I am trying very hard not to abuse my FMLA "rights" (or whatever it's called).

7:30a – I wonder if the DSL will get reactivated today? With all the incompetence I have been dealing with this month, I am not getting my hopes up.

7:31a – I want to crawl back into bed so bad. I really feel awful.

7:27p – I am so angry with both HTC and SBC. My DSL is STILL off. SBC is saying everything is fine on their end and HTC is saying they're waiting on SBC. Now HTC tells me that I am scheduled for the 20th (though SBC say the 18th). Neither date is acceptable and I told them so. I am bugging them tomorrow in a very serious way. I have been patient... no longer.

I discovered I took the wrong pills this morning... again! I took the PM set! I hope I don't feel to awful tomorrow. I will try to make sure I get up and make to work, but ... it might be rough...

10:39p – I got Nuendo and CuBase loaded tonight; watched the 3rd presidential debate; fixed supper, and now I am off to bed.

THURSDAY – OCTOBER 14, 2004

7:39a – I got to bed early last night, only had a few beers, but I still slept badly. I woke around 2:00a and never really got back to sleep properly. I kept lying in bed thinking about the situation with the [lack of] DSL and would just get so angry. My pulse was high and I was wide awake. Of course, part of the problem was the mix up with my meds. Four pills I normally take in the evening, I did not take, and one was my blood pressure medication. I woke up shaking this morning and tried to call in sick. At least a couple of hours. However, I could not get a connection and I decided to just rough it and deal with it.

7:45a – It's is dark out and looks cold. I still think this is going to be a harsh winter.

10:35p – DSL is supposed to be on tomorrow night. It was *maybe* going to be on tonight, but... nope. Not yet. Charmel *GUARANTEED" me that it will be on tomorrow though. We will see.

Meanwhile, in my little mundane world, I fixed broccoli and cheese for supper tonight. Only. No meat. Skip and I both received our first statements from VanGuard (our pension plan). I was surprised to see that I have over $1,200.00 built up! And three packages of my meds came in; one more is due.

10:40p – It's only 10:40 and I am off to bed. Ready to crash. Glad tomorrow is Friday!

FRIDAY – OCTOBER 15, 2004

7:26a – The DSL is still not on. I just checked. At least its Friday, payday, and it doesn't appear to be raining this morning! I woke up around 2:00a again this morning and didn't sleep much. Kira kept waking me with her fleas... poor thing. She wanted to get up in bed with me for "scratch-a-belly" ... but it was four in the morning and I already felt like fleas were crawling on me! Oh, well... off to the shower. Let's get this day over with. I decided to part my hair in the middle for a change this morning. I used the webcam to take a picture of me today. I think this is the second picture of me since I turned 47.

It is a cool, but beautiful day this morning. I hope this bodes well for the morrow.

Skip called me as I was on the way to work this morning about the DSL. He too had tested it around 6:00am. Of course, it was not working.

9:45a - I called Charmel and let her know that the DSL is not on. Skip said he was going home early today, so we should know then if its on yet. I hope I don't have to go through ANOTHER weekend with no DSL connection.

1:01p – I am alone on the Help Desk today. No one has mentioned covering me for lunch.

1:58p – I had a (so–called) chimichanga for lunch. Someone needs to tell them that chimichangas should be fried. Those were just chicken/bean burritos.

2:26p – I just called Skip. He is walking toward the house at this moment, so I caught him a little bit too soon. He will call back in a bit and let me know if the DSL is on yet.

2:33p – Skip just called. Still no DSL!

5:26p – Skip called again at about 4:26 to report ... STILL NO DSL. I tried to call Charmel, but there was no answer. I guess she left. So much for our GUARANTEE.

7:33p – I'm home, basic chores are done, and ... no DSL (of course). At least it is Friday and payday... oh, that reminds me. Rent...

7:35p – There it is... under my keyboard... cool.

SATURDAY – OCTOBER 16, 2004

12:05a – I just finished eating; leftover butterbeans & pork from last Friday, over pork. We were watching "The Day After Tomorrow" ... another disaster movie. I can't finish watching it though... off to bed for me.

12:07a – So... it is after midnight... is the DSL working? NOPE! I am really disappointed. I think HTC has joined my shit list along with SBC!

I got up this morning and fried the leftover rice with some eggs and made a tasty and filling breakfast. Skip had bagels (his recent thing) and we watched the remainder of "The Day After Tomorrow". Then the phone rang; it was an automated recording from SBC informing us that order number C0****** (something) had been completed, so I decided to call HTC to see if there was any known change in our outage.

10:52a – I am on the phone with Dan of HTC now. Trying yet again to find out what is going on with my DSL. I so sick of this entire affair. I just want my DSL back on line.

They said my DSL should be active. Yeah...I agree, BUT IT'S NOT! I traced all the lines again, Skip swapped the outside lines, I power everything off and brought it all up from scratch again, but nothing works.

I went outside with Kira in the front yard for a while this afternoon and sat in the sun while trimming her nails (all but two). The little 11 year old girls from the houses on each side of me came and chatted with me and petted Kira. Our conversations were childishly inane and silly, but it was actually a pleasant 30 minutes or so.

Skip and I went for a walk to the stores. It is a beautiful day. He was wearing a jacket, but I did not feel a need for one. Its cool, but comfortable. We stopped at Block Buster first so he could drop a movie off. Then we stepped in to the Dollar Store. I picked up a small sci-fi book for a dollar called something like "Feud of the Faeries" (or something like that). I only have about 2 pages left in the "Redemption of Althalus" book, so I will need something to read this coming week.

7:57 – RD IM'd me on my cell ... she is off to bed now.

I worked on more music today. Here is my latest creation. I am getting a little better at this! However, don't look for me in concert in the near future! (LOL!). Anyway... click on the score below, to hear one of my first little creations that I feel is minimally adequate to make public...

9:42p – Wow... that was intense! I had to rewrite the music score, the midi files, and all sorts of other "tweaking" several times before I got it to my liking.

SUNDAY – OCTOBER 17, 2004

Happy Birthday to Joe Frank Wingate Cousin -- Oklahoma

11:20a – I had another night of not sleeping well. Fortunately, its the weekend and I can sleep in late. I woke up at 2:30a when Kira starting making smacking noises as she tried to bite fleas. She has all her front lower teeth, I noticed a while back, so she really slurps and smacks a lot. I got up and let her outside, but I use the TV as a night light, and there was a good movie on! So, sat up until about 5:00a, first watching "Modern Vampires" and then an interesting episode of the old "Outer Limits."

5:43p – I have spent the entire day updating my diary/journal page for October 2001, 2002 and 2003. I am bored and depressed. Not have DSL is really wearing me thin.

9:56p – I got 5 weeks worth of pills organized. It has been a while since I had that many weeks set up. I will be a relief not to have to deal with that daily aggravation until the middle of November at least. Skip and I have been watching "Born Identity" off & on today. I just drank the 4 beers I had in the fridge, and am going to bed soon.

9:56p – Maybe not... South Park is coming on.

MONDAY – OCTOBER 18, 2004

Happy Birthdays to Barry Stoves, "Yonv Adisi" and the late Todd Gauvin

7:29a – It's really dark outside this morning. I hear thunder off and on during the night, but it does not appear to be raining. At least, not at the moment. I was just thinking how different I look today, on October 18th, compared to how I looked on this day one year ago! See the picture and judge for yourself!

As it turns out, I got nearly soaked by the time I made it from the train to my office. I thought I had my umbrella i my satchel, but I could not find it. That is, of course, until I got to the office! I had it with me the entire time. I finished off my book, "The Redemption of Althalus" this morning, and began my cheapy $1 book "A Wizard in a Feud" by Christopher Stasheff. GV brought me another CD of her granddaughter, this one taken at "the pumpkin patch." LOTS of colorful pumpkins... many bigger than the children! I made her a duplicate and designed a CD label. I was rather pleased with the result, for a quick production. This image is approximately the same as the label. Applix went down this afternoon and was down for the remainder of the day. Hopefully, it will be back in the morning.

I got out of the office and down to the train platform on time this evening. I was there by 5:58 to catch the 6:01 train. I was very surprised to realize it had already run! Early! Their book"A Wizard in a Feud" by Christopher Stasheff.is a Rams game tonight, and everything is off-schedule. I caught the Shiloh-Scott train at 6:09, but it did not get me to 5th&Mo in time and I missed the bus. On the way to the bus I was going to miss, I called Skip to let him know, and he informs me that my big TV died! I haven't checked it yet, but... this marks the end of an era with that old TV. I've had it about 14 years.

So, I caught the next train back. I became packed with Rams fans, but I had my seat... and a growing headache. I was going to stop for drinks at Union Station, then I decided to get off at LaClede's Landing. However, that is when it dawned on me that I had forgotten my wallet this morning! I only had $4 in cash on me. So, I rode down to the station past Del Mar, then got off and rode back. Unfortunately, my timing (or the train's schedule) was one train off and I ended up on the frelling Shiloh-Scott train again! That meant I would be very unlikely to catch the 7:24p bus from 5th&Mo. I arrived at the Riverfront Station at 7:25, and decided to get off there, walk down to the Casino Queen, and call a cab.

7:31p – I called Riverbend Cab and ordered a cab. They said it would be about 10-15 minutes. I figured it would be longer, but I was surprised. Even more surprised to get a white, female drive in a nice clean van. Then surprised again to be charged only $12 all the way from the Casino Queen! I gave a $3 tip anyway. I was just glad to finally get home!

By this time it was 8:00p. I fed Kira, then headed back out, walking briskly, trying to get my circulation going to help clear my headache in the fresh fall air (of course, now that I knew where my umbrella was, it was not raining). I went by KFC, picked up a four-piece chicken with 4 jalapeños, then stopped by Q-Mart for some beers, and back home.

9:34p – It's already getting late and I am just winding down. I am pooped! I've had a couple of beers and my headache has subsided to a dull background pressure, but I am not hungry yet. I am afraid I am going to be up late.

TUESDAY – OCTOBER 19, 2004

7:43a – I Slept in late. I was going to call in sick this morning. I did not have enough sleep. I feel rotten. I had my usual wild and crazy dreams, but these were more of the disturbing nature. In two of them, I was being forced to play baseball. I was wearing my old tennis shoes, but the had noodles for shoe strings! (including a beef sauce!). Then were were marching in a parade and there were big black girls in suits of armor marching against us... just total chaos! It has left me exhausted this morning. And.... I have no time. Must rush to shower!

I picked three of my red bell peppers this morning.

11:20p – I spent most of this evening going through well over 4,000 emails. Fortunately my MailWasher Program took care of most of the problem. However, I got into a dispute with Skip who, after all of his animosity toward SBC and HTC who were our "antagonists" during this ordeal, he has seemingly taken their side! He states that the filter in "the office" was set backwards! I know better and tried it BOTH ways on MULTIPLE occasions! However, he did have a valid point about the phone in the kitchen not being on a filter. That phone doesn't really work anyway (unless you use the speaker phone), and it has always been on a separate line. I never thought about putting a filter on it.

WEDNESDAY – OCTOBER 20, 2004

9:02a – I feel awful this morning. My stomach is doing flip-flops. I still haven't taken my pills for fear of tossing them back up. I had to call in sick/late this morning. I think I will be better later. Maybe if I eat something bland it will help.

9:02a – I just got RD's birthday wish on line...

 

And I just got my card from Sherry Cole today too (still catching up...)

9:52p – It has been a long day. It is becoming a long week. I called Tia Marlena tonight and left her a voice mail wishing her a happy birthday (tomorrow). I also finish the book "A Wizard in a Feud" by Christopher Stasheff. (Now I have nothing to read!).

11:25p – Supper is done. I am off to bed. I hope I feel better in the morning.

THURSDAY – OCTOBER 21, 2004

7:41a – I don't feel as crappy as yesterday morning, but only marginally. I must drag myself in to work today though, since they are having a birthday celebration for me Gary and Phil (the October Boyz).

8:18a - Got to the bus stop precisely on time. I don't have a book to read today, since I finished my other book last night, so I read through the "Holiday Book Sales" from the Oklahoma Press that I was carrying in my bag. They have a lot of books that looked interesting and VERY cheap (some less that $5).

It's an overcast and gray morning, but RD tells me they have 70 mph winds and it's really nasty over in England.

I was taking this picture. Notice the Police car in the lower right corner. I saw him, but thought nothing of it. There is no law against photography that I know of, nor was I doing anything wrong...

9:03a – I stopped to take a picture of the building under construction. The same one I have taken countless pictures of, and I got picked up by the St. Louis Police!! I had to get in the car and he took me to security where they verified that my ID is active. I called the office on the way and told Gary what was happening, but I incorrectly identified the officer as "security" ... and he quickly corrected me by stating, "I am NOT security, sir!" (oops... my bad!). So anyway, security (which is right across the street from my office) verified my active status from my ID and I walked across the street to my office. (Still a bit shaky from adrenaline!). I do not feel badly toward the police officer; he was just doing his job ... to the extreme utmost! What I feel bad about is that right here in America, with my picture ID hanging around my neck, just 2 minutes from my own office, I can be suspected of "terrorist activity" for simply taking a picture. What a dismal state of affairs. Later I read up on, and learned about, the parallels between the DHS and the Gestapo, and the KGB. In fact, I now realize that we have former high level KGB operative (including former Russian Prime Minister Karpov) working in our own government! This is... "disturbing" to say the least!! 10:10a – There was breakfast Pizza for mine, Gary and Phil's birthday this morning, but... it's all gone. I did not pick up anything for breakfast this morning because I was told there would be food this morning. (Instead, I got picked up by the Police and my office ate all the food!). 11:16a – We're having some birthday cake now. We gave Gary his birthday card and was laughing hysterically over it.

11:50a – We still don't have a clue what we're going to do for lunch.

Gary and Lisa ended up going over to Children's for lunch. I didn't get out for lunch until nearly 2:00p. I walked over to Barnes & Nobles and picked up a new book called, "The Nimble Man."

5:24p – How strange! A few moments ago, I went to put on my shoe and there was a pebble or something under my foot. I looked in my shoe and found a shard of glass! Then I decided to use my cell phone to take a picture of it and while trying to line up the best shot, the phone rang in my hand! Startled me! I nearly threw it! Of all the people, it was my sister-in-law, Blanca! They had some networking with dial-up questions.

5:47p – Time to wind down & go home!

9:43p – The more I think about it, the more aggravated I become over this morning's weird encounter with the police. I wish I had thought to ask for his ID. That would be published here in my journal too. It bothers me that a blond haired, blue eyed, yet mostly Native American person, who has been a citizen of this country for nearly half a century, with a picture ID prominently displayed around his neck, just around the corner from the office where he has worked for over four years can be subject to the indignity that I was subjected to this morning.

Brilliant Red bushed in from of my office. The Sushi Bar at Cha-Yoon Fall Scenery from my the waiting room at the Doctor's office. Our neighbors have a very festive display for Samhain! This is the display model of the TV I chose.

FRIDAY – OCTOBER 22, 2004 7:44a – I got up early and made breakfast. Now I am running late again! 8:08a – I was behind schedule, but I am leaving the house earlier than usual. 9:27a – I am headed back to the large conference room at work for our Friday Coor-Com meeting. 10:31a – The meeting was amazingly short, for a change. 10:51a – I am getting sleepy. 1:20p – My computer is locking up <sigh> time to reboot. I left the office about 2pm and went to Cha Yoon for a bite of sushi. Then I went to the doctor's appointment. I was there 30 minutes early, but I still had a long wait. I had my book though, so it was not too bad. My blood work is looking very good and everything is not only remaining stable in the "normal" range, but has even improved. I have decided to go ahead with the AndroGel treatments and will be ordering that on line. I stopped at the Zone for a couple of cocktails on my way back. Dan didn't even ask, but knew immediately what I wanted and fixed me a screwdriver! How unexpected! I had to rush to catch the 5:01p train, but I made it just in time. It was crowded and I had to stand until Grand Station where I pounced on a vacated seat. I arrived and 5th&Mo and found Skip waiting for the bus there. When we got off the bus we stopped and chatted with our neighbor, Hobi, and asked him if he could do us a favor. We wanted to buy a new TV, and asked him if he could pick us up from Wal-Mart with it. I got his home number and said we would call him from the store. Skip & I walked back to Wal-Mart. I took a picture of our neighbor's festive holiday display with my cell phone. Once we got to the store, I made a fairly quick decision on a 37" flat screen Sony TV, marked down to $397. I took us a while to get one from storage, but we finally got it. Hobi came to pick us up, but the box was too big for his little Taurus wagon, so we had to removed the set from the box. We got it home with no problem and had it up and running in about 20 minutes. Oh yes, Skip picked up a copy of the newly released movie, "Van Helsing" and we sat around drinking beer and watching the movie for our Friday night. The new TV ... set up and playing first DVD

SATURDAY – OCTOBER 23, 2004

5:06p – I got up a little after 8:00a. Been working with email, journal, and finishing up the mess with Skip's virus barrage.

I gave Kira a flea bath. She was, again, covered in fleas... poor thing. The new flea collar I got last week doesn't seem to be making any more difference than all the other things I've tried (powder, spray, carpet dust, brewer's yeast and repeated baths). The flea baths at least give her some brief respite from the torments applied by her little friends. I can tell after she has a bath she falls asleep and is quiet and still and in a deep, sound sleep.

I decided to go out tonight.

SUNDAY – OCTOBER 24, 2004

12:00a – It is kind of strange to be standing out here at the bus stop at midnight! The bus is supposed to run at 12:02a, but I just now stopped on the other side of the road.

12:13a – Here is the bus now...

I got home around 5:30a, fixed a bite to eat and went to bed. Then I actually got up about 9:30a and fixed some soup. I was feeling a bit delicate. I laid back down and dozed for a while, then got up again around 11:30 and put on to simmer some pieces of pork that I had frozen for a while. I added some fresh onion & carrot, seasonings, a left over baked potato (chopped) and some split peas. I let that simmer for about 3 hours, then at 2:00p I sat down with a small "test" bowl of my pork stew to watch a show I've been looking forward to: "Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars."

The stew, despite my ministrations, was a little bland, so I attacked it with a few more spices and let simmer longer. The result was much better. Quite tasty in fact.

I ended up going to my room to watch the movie, since I had already seen parts of it during the past week and was feeling so sleepy. I ended up sleeping through most of it, but I did catch some parts that I had missed. I think I've caught about 90% of it at least. I finally got up (again) at 5:00p and was feeling a little better, so I walked to the store for some groceries. I did something I rarely do and bought some pastries and ice cream. I was craving; have been for days. I came back an pigged out on sweets, then later I cooked ANOTHER meal. This time it was cabbage, pork sausage & onion with some of the juice from the pork stew I made earlier. I probably gained about a ton this weekend!

MONDAY – OCTOBER 25, 2004

7:42a – 46° – Wow... it's hard to believe October is nearly over! Back to work again this morning. The Chili cook-off is coming up this Friday. I need to get my crock pot to the office. LZ has been no help there, so I guess I will have to lug it with me on the bus/train.

I picked up my buss pass for November this morning. Skip had already picked his up. Apparently he was the first person.

11:56p – 63° – Time for bed!

TUESDAY – OCTOBER 26, 2004

7:47a – 62° – I woke around 3:50a and could not get back to sleep for over an hour. Then when I did, it seems like only seconds until my alarm went off, then it was a struggle to get up. That is so aggravating!

7:49a – It is dark and rainy out this morning.

It was *dead* at work today. Most of the office was attending an HIPAA session.

I sent an envelope out to Aunt Marlene today. It including 5 years worth of my October journals, some pictures, a letter and miscellaneous other printed items.

The burner(s) is going out on the stove. I think it is time for a new one.

11:11p – Time for bed.

WEDNESDAY – OCTOBER 27, 2004

It's a overcast, wet, drizzly, and generally yucky day out this morning. However, RD tells me that over in England is cold, with gale force winds and flood warnings... so I am not complaining.

I slept better last night. Possibly because I had Kira sleep in the other room so she did not wake me all night. I hate doing that, but her flea problem is just unbearable, not only for her, but for me. I miss our little romps in the evening when she jumps in bed with me and flops over on her back demanding to have her belly scratched. But all that accomplished is to get fleas and "grit" all over my bed and I just can't deal with it. Her tails is looking ragged from biting herself, and she has lost all of her bottom front teeth. I really worry about her health; she means so much to me. She is going on 12 years old now, and that is getting up there in years for a dog. She's doing well over all I guess, but know she is reaching her twilight years. It's going to be rough when her time comes. I dread it with all my heart.

Lisa has been in an oppressed mood all morning. This place will do that to a person.

1:10p – I just heard someone mention something about having a Help Desk meeting... and I have to go to lunch. The food line closes in 20 minutes! They need to schedule these things.

Well... apparently the meeting does not include us...

Now I understand the meeting revolves around Applix, data gathering, statistics and such. This is my area of expertise... this is what (I thought) I was hired for. Strange... they do not make use of my background and experience, but I have (sadly) gone beyond caring. I just do my job and go home. They treat us like (as LZ says) "step children." As long as they pay me. My enthusiasm, drive, energy, or what-have-you long since faded to a dingy caricature of what it once was.

Aug 30, 2005 - Note: Looking back on this "help desk meeting" I realize this was probably the beginning of the end for us. We would find our positions "eliminated" and us with no job in just a few months from this date.

I am nearing the end of the book I just bought, "The Nimble Man." I got down to the epilogue on the bus this evening. Only about 4 pages left, and that will not last me to the train depot in the morning. So... I will have to find something ELSE to read.

9:18p – 61° – We are about 1 hour into a Lunar Eclipse at the moment, but it is complete overcast and I can't see a bloody thing!

THURSDAY – OCTOBER 28, 2004

Today was more or less a typical work day. I took a scrubby sponge in to the kitchen at work today and used it to clean up my crock-pot. I left it in the kitchen for tomorrow.

Lisa had to leave work early and came back a little before 5:00p so she was able to give me a ride home. She also took me by Shop & Save so I could pick up supplies for tomorrow's chili cook-off. I got home and started cooking the chili. I made a lot more that I was expecting! I put it in one large and two small ziplock bags, then triple wrapped it in plastic grocery bags and put it in the fridge.

FRIDAY – OCTOBER 29, 2004 Happy Birthday (where ever you are) Denise (Batz) Tyler I got to work this morning and they already had a couple of crock-pots of chili warming up... and one of them was in MY crock-pot! I was furious! How dare they!? I was stomping around trying to find out who had such audacity, but know one seemed to know who had put their chili in my crock-pot. I finally figured out who it was... it was Sonia F. However, much to my relief and embarrassment, it was NOT my crock-pot! (oops!) She has a Rival brand crock-pot that looks EXACTLY like mine! The exact same colors!! I was laughing myself silly when I figured this out. I found my crock-pot, all clean and ready to go where I had left it in the kitchen. We had our chili contest around noon... and GUESS WHAT! I won! (By a landslide, no less!). I was quite pleased. My "award" ...designed, prepared presented by Robin Pashia. Thanks to everyone for participating! My AndroGel arrived in the mail today. Enough for six months!

SATURDAY – OCTOBER 30, 2004

Today Skylar is supposed to come over to pick me up and we are going to the costume shop, then tonight we are supposed to meet Marty & JR and go to CWE for the Halloween festivities.

I finally got in touch with Skylar around 3:00p. He supposedly has car problems (why am I not surprised?). He says we can get a ride from some other friends if he car is not ready.

I spent most of the day washing dishes. I still did not get done all that I intended. Skip took a trip to the store and got some candy for (tonight?) or tomorrow night... whenever the trick-or-treaters are going to be out

I never heard back from Skylar, so I was going to take the bus in. Marty said he would get me home. However, the bus runs at 7:37p and then there is not another bus until 12:02... MIDNIGHT! That's a sucky schedule! So, Marty (always reliable!) drove all the way out and picked me up. The Halloween festivities were crowded. We never found JR in the crowd. I wanted to have a few drinks ... it was Saturday night after all, but I only managed to get one drink. (And I got a "where's george" marked 10 dollar bill in change! Only my fifth one ever!). It was mostly boring, but I did take some pictures. We went back to JR's place and (eventually) JR got ready and they took me home. I prepared CD's for JR and Marty of all the Halloween pictures (going back to 2000). SUNDAY – OCTOBER 31, 2004 Happy New Year! (Pagan style) Today was mostly uneventful, until I let Kira in this afternoon. She had been running around and was panting. She drank some water, panted some more, licked a paper plate with some beef gravy on it, and suddenly started gagging. She seemed to go into a seizure! She took a few wobbly steps and fell over and started kicking! I was freaking out... and scared silly for her. She recovered and seems to be no worse off for her spell. I think she just gagged and choked. I hope. Skip and I walked to the store this evening. I picked up a chuck roast for the crock-pot, along with carrots, celery and bell pepper. I added onion, potato, spices and some jalapeños that I had at home.

We had a lot of trick-or-treaters! I ran out of candy. I didn't think there would be that many since it was sprinkling rain all evening.